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What do you do if you need to gauge and control others' emotions during an interview?

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In any interview, understanding and managing emotions can be the key to a successful interaction. Emotional intelligence, the ability to recognize, understand, and manage not only your own emotions but also those of others, is a vital skill in this context. It allows you to create a positive atmosphere, build rapport, and guide the conversation in a constructive direction. Whether you're the interviewer or the interviewee, being able to gauge and subtly influence the emotional climate can make all the difference. So, what can you do to effectively assess and steer emotions during an interview?

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1 Recognize Signs

To gauge someone's emotions, pay close attention to non-verbal cues such as facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. These often provide insights into how a person truly feels. For example, crossed arms may suggest defensiveness, while a warm smile can indicate openness. Listen actively to what is being said as well as how it's said; fluctuations in voice pitch or speed can reveal nervousness or excitement. By being observant, you can better understand the emotional undercurrents of the interview.

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Joshua Freedman

Building trust-centered leadership, teams & organizations where people can be & do their best. MCC, CEO of Six Seconds - the global emotional intelligence community
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The title of this article sparks my irritation. We don't get to control others' emotions. Most of us can barely handle our own. That said, this "recognizing signs" advice is spot on: We get FREE DATA from people all the time. Just tuning in to their words, and what's behind their words, gives us tons of info. In an interview, it's invaluable for you to pick up those clues. When do they "light up"? When do they look bored? That's free instant feedback for you.

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Jenny Woo, PhD, MBA

Founder/CEO | Award-winning “Human Skills” games, courses | In Forbes, FORTUNE, CNBC, Harvard Gazette, TEDx, TIME, Fast Company, Insider | Used in 50+ countries
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You can gauge and guide, but a goal of “controlling” someone’s emotion defeats the purpose of an interview. An interview is really a conversation, and it is through this back and forth serve-and-turn that we reciprocate emotions and thoughts, and establish mutual understanding. We utilize social cues, language, active listening, and mirroring to gauge and guide emotions, hopefully, with the goal of building understanding and rapport.

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Sandra J Wilson

Transforming Leaders' Self-Doubt into Purposeful Aligned Action | Certified Akashic Life Coach | Grief Support |
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The silence is a dead giveaway! We all have triggers and when someone is holding back emotions, it's prefaced by silence. That's the time to take the pressure off and allow things to flow. No one should ever feel ashamed or bullied by being emotional. Who isn't emotional these days???

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Susan Postnikoff
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In order to gauge and control others emotions, we need to have some basics covered before we find ourselves in that situation. We need to be centered and have a high level of awareness and a willingness to set aside judgement, and seek to understand. We need to understand our own communication filters and interpretations, and would need to be able to simultaneously observe the same in others. It also requires an understanding of levels of emotion, and the emotional tone scale. With all of that in place, with compassion and true interest in understanding others, we do have the ability to shift others up and down the emotional tone scale. These are a few of the concepts included in my book “Empowered Communication C-Suite & Sales Edition”

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Steven Johnson

Spa Operator & Consultant | Mortgage Note Investor | Mobile Home Park Owner & Operator Entrepreneur | Industry expert coach for Property Managers | Business Operations Integrator and Consultant | Retired Landlord
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Controlling emotions is not a realistic approach - one cannot control other's reactions and how they feel. That being said, as a interviewer, you can develop a comfortable environment and if you present the company as a professional company you'll hopefully get the candidates to take the interview professionally. I actually hope to see that there is some nervousness in the candidates demeanor because it tells me they are taking the interview seriously.

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2 Ask Questions

Asking open-ended questions that encourage candidates to share their experiences and feelings can help you gauge their emotional state. For instance, inquire about a time they overcame a challenge or dealt with conflict. Their responses can give you clues about their resilience, empathy, and how they handle stress. It's important to create a safe space where they feel comfortable expressing themselves, which in turn allows you to assess their emotional responses more accurately.

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Muthu Pandi S

Chemical Engineer
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Read the room, not the mind. Focus on active listening and nonverbal cues to understand their emotions. Respond with empathy and build rapport, not manipulation.

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David Klemp

Licensed educator with a passion for exploring big ideas and a desire to make the world a more beautiful, knowledgeable, and caring place.
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I'm not sure about "controlling" other's emotions, but asking questions is a natural way to gather information in an interview, including information about others' emotions. Whether as interviewer or interviewee, in addition to open-ended questions, open-ended, non-judgmental follow-up or probing questions can reveal a lot. For example, "What makes you say that?" is a non-threatening way to encourage others to elaborate on their thinking/feeling. Likewise, "Tell me more," while not technically a question, invites others to share their thinking/feelings about a topic in an open-ended manner. Regarding responses, I've always thought that whatever they say will tell me what I want to know, emotionally and otherwise.

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3 Reflect Empathy

Reflecting empathy involves acknowledging the emotions of others and responding appropriately. If you sense nervousness or discomfort, a simple statement like "It's normal to feel anxious during an interview" can help put the other person at ease. Empathy builds trust and encourages openness, making it easier for you to understand and influence the emotional flow of the conversation. Remember that empathy must be genuine; people can usually tell when it's not.

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4 Control Tone

The tone of voice you use can significantly influence the emotional tone of the interview. A calm, steady voice can soothe anxiety, while a cheerful tone can lighten the mood. Adjust your tone to match the situation; if the other person becomes agitated or upset, a softer, more reassuring tone may help de-escalate emotions. Controlling your tone is a subtle way to guide the emotional direction of the interview without appearing manipulative.

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5 Manage Stress

Stress can quickly alter the emotional dynamics of an interview. To keep it under control, practice deep breathing or pause for a moment before responding to a stressful question. Encourage the other person to take their time with answers, which can reduce pressure and allow emotions to stabilize. By managing stress, you maintain a calm environment conducive to a constructive and positive interview experience.

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6 Adapt Flexibly

Being adaptable means adjusting your strategies based on the emotional cues you're receiving. If you sense that certain topics trigger negative emotions, steer the conversation towards more neutral or positive areas. Conversely, if you notice enthusiasm or passion, delve deeper into those subjects. Flexibility allows you to maintain control over the emotional tone of the interview while also respecting the other person's feelings.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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M Azeem Saheer - PCC

Human Capital Specialist | Facilitator at Luminary Learning Solutions | ICF-PCC | EQ Leadership Coach |EQ Practitioner| Emotional Culture Catalyst | LEGO? Serious Play? |Hands On Thinking Coach | Speaker |Podcaster
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My opinion is no one can control others emotions, simply because 1. We dont recognise emotion in the 1st place 2. How will you control another with being aware & knowing who is the person. moreover it will be his or her 1st interview & we cannot judge people by their behaviour 3. What we can do is identify certain behaviour & help them reflect on it. at the same time help them to navigate through the situation by giving space to breathe, letting them know it ok not be ok

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What do you do if you need to gauge and control others' emotions during an interview?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Recognize Signs

2 Ask Questions

3 Reflect Empathy

4 Control Tone

5 Manage Stress

6 Adapt Flexibly

7 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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What do you do if you need to gauge and control others' emotions during an interview?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Recognize Signs

2 Ask Questions

3 Reflect Empathy

4 Control Tone

5 Manage Stress

6 Adapt Flexibly

7 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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