What do you do if an employee is resistant to receiving constructive feedback?

Create a safe and trusting environment where employees feel comfortable expressing their concerns or challenges, encourage two-way communication by soliciting their perspective on the feedback and exploring potential solutions together, and provide ongoing coaching and reinforcement to reinforce positive behaviors and progress towards improvement.

The foundation of a successful Coaching partnership is built around feelings of safety and trust. Without these, the partnership will yield watered-down results. Circle back to the foundational elements of the relationship and ensure that you're creating the desired environment. Ask the Coachee for feedback on your Coaching so that you can model being receptive to this.

A way I like to build trust is by personality preference styles. Looking at their Myers Briggs, Strengthfinders, Innate Drivers, and RESPECT Coaching styles all at the same time, really helps you get to know how to better communicate with someone. I then like to have a meeting with each person where I just hear their story. Ask them about their childhood, college, family, hobbies, innate drivers, etc. Spending 1 hour with someone getting them to talk about themselves and combining that with personality styles, creates trust IMO.

Asking questions will allow you to fully UNDERSTAND their perspective and will make them feel heard. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues to better understand the lens with which they view the world. With this understanding, probe deeper into the 'why' behind their resistance (continuing to employ active listening): -> Have you developed a safe and trusted space? -> Is the delivery conducive to learning or laced with judgment? -> Finally, and most likely, what trigger is this pushing for the Coachee? Dig deep into their belief system to shed light on what's really going on.

One of my pet peeves is when a coachee starts a conversation with, "I know your super busy, but..." No I'm not. I'm never to busy to help someone in need. I will drop everything to give my attention to someone who needs my coaching. This includes reading their body language, diving for what they are really saying, and trying to get to the real solution they are looking for. To actively listen, don't be too busy for people.

When an employee resists feedback, understand their perspective and establish trust. Create a safe, private space for dialogue, focusing on specific behaviors, not the person. Frame feedback as growth-focused, support their development, and set clear expectations. Follow up to track progress and reinforce your commitment to their success.

I would review my approach. Is there something in the way I am delivering the message, something about our relationship or the message itself that is triggering their defensiveness? What might I need to tweak?

One part of Dr. David Morelli's research I love is how at the end of the coaching conversation framework, you loop back to the beginning. Just because you got some feedback, doesn't' mean you are done. Start the process again, but adjust. As an example, you might try the following: 1) Use your EQ to identify what coaching style the coachee needs. It can be done in .001 seconds. 2) Pick a coaching style. Dr. Morelli teaches 7. 3) Decide if you want to be direct or indirect. 4) Pick a question, statement, or story. 5) See the coachee's response. THEN... Step back to step 1, and repeat.

Sometimes it's the approach of the Coach that needs the work. It's our role to meet them where they are and provide the support that THEY require. It may be that the Coach hasn't given enough support for the Coachee to feel that the Coach is on their side. Reassess your approach: -> What else does the Coachee require in order for them to be receptive to feedback? -> How can you shift your language to open that door? -> How could you reframe their perspective to enable a greater openness to feedback?

Remember, resistance to feedback is often rooted in fear, misunderstanding, or lack of trust. By addressing these underlying issues and demonstrating your commitment to the employee's success, you can foster a more receptive attitude towards constructive feedback.