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What do you do if empathy is lacking in conflict resolution?

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When attempting to resolve conflicts, empathy is a crucial component that allows you to understand and share the feelings of others. It's the bridge that connects differing perspectives and fosters a solution-oriented environment. However, what happens when empathy is not present in conflict resolution? The absence of empathy can lead to misunderstandings, heightened tensions, and an inability to reach a satisfactory resolution for all parties involved. It's essential to recognize and address this lack of empathy to manage conflicts effectively.

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Marli Rusen

I created the popular MIRROR Method – a training program that empowers leaders to make respectful and informed…

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Yamini Singh

Chief Learning Officer| Gallup Strengths Coach |Brain Based (Neuroscience) Leadership coach

1 Recognize the Gap

The first step is to acknowledge the empathy gap. You can't address a problem without recognizing it exists. In conflict situations, observe the interactions and listen carefully to what is being said. If parties are solely focused on their own viewpoints, unwilling to consider others' feelings, or if there's a general sense of disregard for emotional understanding, these are clear signs that empathy is lacking. Recognizing this gap is essential for taking proactive steps to encourage a more empathetic approach in the resolution process.

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Marli Rusen

I created the popular MIRROR Method – a training program that empowers leaders to make respectful and informed decisions, and supports organizations in their need to build healthy, safe and productive environments.
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When identifying the gap, it is important to move away from characterizations (such as a lack of empathy) to specific behaviors or practices which have led to a perception of this. Someone who has been scarred from being vulnerable in past conversations may show up as lacking in empathy based on the fact that they are shut down and minimally responsive. It's helpful to describe for them what you are seeing - and its (often unintended) impact on others. By neutrally describing observed behaviors without added judgment or criticism, we lessen the risk of having the other person react defensively and shut down even further.

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2 Foster Understanding

Once you've identified the lack of empathy, work on fostering understanding among the conflicting parties. Encourage everyone to express their feelings and thoughts openly, and listen without judgment. This can be done through active listening techniques, such as nodding, summarizing what has been said, and asking open-ended questions. By creating a safe space for expression, you help build the foundation for empathy to grow. Understanding doesn't mean agreeing, but it does mean giving space for all perspectives to be heard.

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3 Model Empathy

You can also lead by example and model empathy yourself. Demonstrate how to empathize by reflecting back emotions and validating others' feelings. Use phrases like "It sounds like you're feeling..." or "I can see why that would be frustrating." By showing empathy in your own behavior, you set a precedent for others to follow. This modeling can subtly encourage others to begin practicing empathy, even if they were not doing so initially.

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4 Encourage Perspective-Taking

Another strategy is to actively encourage perspective-taking. This involves asking the parties involved to consider the situation from the other person's point of view. Pose questions that prompt them to think about how they would feel if they were in the other's shoes. This can be a powerful tool in building empathy as it forces individuals to step outside of their own experiences and consider the emotions and motivations of others.

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5 Utilize Mediation

If empathy is still lacking, consider bringing in a neutral third party to mediate the conflict. A mediator specializes in conflict resolution and can facilitate a dialogue that encourages empathy. They can help the parties involved see the value in understanding each other's positions and work towards a mutually beneficial resolution. Their impartiality can make it easier for everyone to open up and express themselves more freely.

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Yamini Singh

Chief Learning Officer| Gallup Strengths Coach |Brain Based (Neuroscience) Leadership coach
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A mediator, can phrase the conflict in neutral terms, and help remove the emotional charge of both parties. This may help each party to understand the POV of the other side. A mediator manages the emotional side of conflict-re-emphasizing only on the facts of the matter & guiding both parties to keep focused on the end goal. Mediator brings order and impartiality to the conflict, which can sometimes be what the parties need.

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6 Reinforce Positive Outcomes

Lastly, reinforce any positive outcomes that arise from empathetic interactions. When a resolution is reached that considers all perspectives, highlight how empathy contributed to the successful outcome. Praise the efforts of those who showed understanding and compassion during the process. This positive reinforcement can encourage continued empathetic behavior in future conflicts.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Laurent CALVET

General Manager
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Le dialogue permet bien de souvent de personaliser et nominatiser des situations tout en restant détaché. La rupture du contact est bien plus grave que l'absence d'empathie. L'empathie est pourmoi la goutte d'huile qui favorise les échanges et les dialogues entre personnes d'un groupe.

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What do you do if empathy is lacking in conflict resolution?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Recognize the Gap

2 Foster Understanding

3 Model Empathy

4 Encourage Perspective-Taking

5 Utilize Mediation

6 Reinforce Positive Outcomes

7 Here’s what else to consider

Conflict Management

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What do you do if empathy is lacking in conflict resolution?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Recognize the Gap

2 Foster Understanding

3 Model Empathy

4 Encourage Perspective-Taking

5 Utilize Mediation

6 Reinforce Positive Outcomes

7 Here’s what else to consider

Conflict Management

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