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What do you do if emotions are running high during feedback discussions?

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Feedback discussions can be a delicate dance of words and emotions. It's essential to navigate these conversations with care, especially when emotions are high. Emotional intelligence, the ability to understand and manage your own emotions and those of others, is a critical skill in these moments. It allows you to maintain a professional atmosphere while addressing the heart of the issues at hand. By staying attuned to emotional cues and responding empathetically, you can transform a potentially volatile situation into a constructive dialogue.

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Daniel Gasser

Don't ARGUE Or FIGHT with Narc or Toxic Men. DO THIS INSTEAD: DM me for FREE private 1:1 Clarity Call to help you. #1…
Adriano de Carvalho Rocha

Gerente | Coordenador Sênior | Supply Chain | S&OP | Portos | PCP | Logística | Suprimentos | Contratos | Mentor de…
Tuba Mutlu

Helping early career women professionals break free from playing small. | Cultivate self-trust | Own your worth ?? |…

1 Prepare Thoroughly

Before entering any feedback discussion, especially one where emotions might run high, thorough preparation is key. Understand the context of the feedback, the specifics of what you need to communicate, and anticipate possible reactions. This preparation involves not just considering the content of your message but also strategizing on how to deliver it in a way that is clear, fair, and sensitive to the other person's feelings. By being prepared, you can approach the conversation with confidence and a clear plan, which can help keep emotions from derailing the discussion.

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Cher Anderton, MSW, LICSW

Speaker | Therapist | Author | Dispute 'Resolutionist' | Educator | Creator of Awareness to Action Pathway Course and Where To Begin Membership
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Pause the discussion and give people time to self-regulate. There is nothing to be gained when lids are "flipped" and people aren't in the brain space necessary to have a productive conversation.

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2 Stay Calm

During a feedback session, it's paramount that you remain calm and composed, regardless of how the other person is reacting. Your ability to stay level-headed will set the tone for the entire interaction. Take deep breaths, speak slowly, and maintain an even tone of voice. If you feel your own emotions starting to escalate, practice self-awareness and self-regulation, two key components of emotional intelligence. Remember, your goal is to provide constructive feedback, not to win an argument or escalate tensions.

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Daniel Gasser

Don't ARGUE Or FIGHT with Narc or Toxic Men. DO THIS INSTEAD: DM me for FREE private 1:1 Clarity Call to help you. #1 secret to deal with toxic narc men at home or work. Get help & answers. Shame-free. Judgment-free.
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There is a saying in German in the construction sector. "The one who shouts the loudest has the least skills". When a feedback talk gets emotional, we have probably hit a weak spot point blank. Nobody likes to receive a spot-on remark hurting our feelings. So it's on the one giving the feedback to remain calm, understanding and above all empathetic. Also, it is important to give these emotions space to 'evaporate'.

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Tuba Mutlu

Helping early career women professionals break free from playing small. | Cultivate self-trust | Own your worth ?? | Mindset Coach (CPC)
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I believe getting feedback is important, but giving feedback in an empathic way is important. Keeping calm and empathetic is the most important. It is about helping the person improve a particular area. It is 'not' about criticising the person to the ground or making them feel bad about themselves. I put myself in the other person's shoes and consider how I would like to receive the feedback. That helps me use an empathic tone and maintain my composure.

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3 Listen Actively

Active listening is a crucial aspect of managing high-emotion feedback sessions. It involves paying full attention to the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. Show empathy by acknowledging the other person's feelings and viewpoints without immediately jumping to defense or counterpoints. By truly listening, you demonstrate respect and allow for a more open exchange of ideas. This can help de-escalate emotions and lead to a more productive conversation.

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Adriano de Carvalho Rocha

Gerente | Coordenador Sênior | Supply Chain | S&OP | Portos | PCP | Logística | Suprimentos | Contratos | Mentor de Pessoas e Carreira | Co-Founder Grupo Conex?es |
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Durante um feedback, quando as emo??es come?am a aflorar, focar na escuta (e n?o no que está sentindo ou pensando) é uma excelente forma de praticar sua Inteligência Emocional. Se você dá demasiada aten??o às emo??es e n?o ao que ouve, você definitivamente n?o irá ouvir aquele feedback. As emo??es se tornar?o t?o fortes que o feedback explanado simplesmente ''entrará por um ouvido (seu) e sairá pelo outro". Num feedback, ainda que duro, se concentre em ouvir. Ou?a ativamente, sem interrup??es e de forma empática. Os ganhos, sem sombra de dúvidas, ser?o enormes.

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4 Address Emotions

When emotions are clearly impacting the discussion, it's important to address them directly. Validate the other person's feelings by acknowledging that it's natural to have emotional responses to feedback. Use phrases like "It seems like this is really important to you" or "I can see why you might feel that way" to show understanding. However, be careful not to patronize or dismiss their feelings. This empathy can help create a safer space for dialogue and can encourage the other person to engage more constructively.

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5 Offer Support

Offering support during a feedback conversation can go a long way in managing heightened emotions. Let the other person know that you are there to help them succeed and that the feedback is meant to be constructive. Offer specific suggestions for improvement and be willing to assist in creating an action plan. This supportive approach reinforces the idea that feedback is a tool for growth and development, not just criticism.

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6 Follow Up

After the initial feedback discussion, it's important to follow up. This shows that you are committed to the person's improvement and that you care about their progress. Schedule a meeting or send an email to check in on how they are feeling and how they are implementing the feedback. This continued engagement can help ease any lingering tension and provides an opportunity for further support and guidance.

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Tuba Mutlu

Helping early career women professionals break free from playing small. | Cultivate self-trust | Own your worth ?? | Mindset Coach (CPC)
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Showing support and understanding after giving feedback is very important. I was told to go and do a course after a feedback once. This made me feel frustrated, unsupported and invalidated. The experience taught me to be wary of the receiver's emotions. We are not responsible for how others react, but it is important to offer support to the person to build trust and pave the way for an open conversation.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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What do you do if emotions are running high during feedback discussions?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Prepare Thoroughly

2 Stay Calm

3 Listen Actively

4 Address Emotions

5 Offer Support

6 Follow Up

7 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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感谢您的反馈

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What do you do if emotions are running high during feedback discussions?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Prepare Thoroughly

2 Stay Calm

3 Listen Actively

4 Address Emotions

5 Offer Support

6 Follow Up

7 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

给文章评分

感谢您的反馈

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