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What do you do if emotions run high during contract negotiation?

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During contract negotiations, it's not uncommon for emotions to escalate as parties invest in the outcome. When you find yourself in a heated exchange, your first instinct might be to push back or disengage, but there are effective strategies to navigate these tense moments. By understanding the dynamics at play and employing emotional intelligence, you can steer the conversation back to a productive path and ensure that the negotiation process remains constructive. Remember, the goal is to reach an agreement that benefits all involved, and managing emotions is a critical part of achieving that objective.

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1 Stay Calm

When emotions flare up, maintaining your composure is crucial. Take deep breaths and remind yourself that staying calm will allow you to think more clearly and respond more effectively. Recognize that the other party's emotions are also valid and try to understand where they are coming from. This doesn't mean you have to agree with them, but acknowledging their feelings can help de-escalate the situation and keep the negotiation on track.

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Ilhan Karacam

General Manager | Market Strategy, Sourcing, Sales Management, Business Development
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I stay calm and act professionally. I listen to everyone's thoughts, take breaks if things get too tense, and try to find solutions that make sense for everyone. If necessary, I can ask someone else to help sort things out. Keeping good relationships with everyone involved is important.

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2 Listen Actively

Active listening is a powerful tool in any negotiation. When the other party is emotional, they want to feel heard and understood. By giving them your full attention and reflecting back what you've heard, you demonstrate respect and empathy. This can help lower defenses and open the door to finding common ground. Remember, listening isn't just about waiting for your turn to speak; it's about truly trying to understand the other person's perspective.

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3 Use 'I' Statements

To express your own concerns without escalating the situation, use "I" statements. For example, say "I feel concerned about this term because..." instead of "You're being unreasonable." This approach focuses on your feelings and experiences rather than placing blame, which can help prevent the other person from becoming defensive. It's a subtle shift in language that can have a significant impact on the tone of the negotiation.

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4 Seek Solutions

When emotions are high, it's easy to get stuck on problems rather than solutions. Shift the focus by asking solution-oriented questions like "What can we do to make this work for both of us?" This encourages collaborative problem-solving and demonstrates your commitment to reaching a mutually beneficial agreement. It's important to show that you're willing to work together to overcome obstacles and find a path forward.

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5 Take a Break

If the emotional intensity doesn't subside, suggest taking a break. A short pause can provide everyone with the space to cool down and collect their thoughts. Use this time to reassess your strategy and consider the other party's position. When you reconvene, you'll both be more likely to approach the negotiation with a fresh perspective and renewed focus on the goals at hand.

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Roderick Garrett

Contracts Manager @ Rust Resources | Expert in EPC Contract Management
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It's OK for the parties to take a break from negotiations. A time out can provide an opportunity for emotions to die down. During the break, parties can also regroup, recalibrate, and focus on the restart.

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6 Reflect and Learn

After the negotiation, take time to reflect on what happened. Consider what triggered the emotional responses and think about how you handled them. This reflection is not about assigning blame but about learning from the experience. By understanding what worked and what didn't, you can improve your approach in future negotiations, becoming more adept at managing emotions and fostering positive outcomes.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Sanjeev Sood

Group Country Head , Aditya Birla Group , Thailand Director on several Boards Chief Expansion Projects , Birla Carbon Asia Certified Independent Director
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High emotions & tempers flaring is common during the negotiations Especially labor Union CBA discussions can turn ugly in form of boycotting meals , squatting on floors or involving any kind of pressure tactics Even the seller / buyer negotiations though not that extreme will / can have emotional drama Best is to keep listening / take a break even offer to walk out even if it’s your office or meeting room Come back & support your discussion with objectivity , logic & data Most of the times the trick works because you have embarrassed your opponent without letting him know & saved his face There will be buy in but would need your patience

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Alan Cramer

Contracts | Procurement | Supply Chain Management
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Get away from the details for a moment, and try to find the underlying source of a conflict. If negotiations are at an impasse over a particular issue, it may be helpful to ask the other party, "what are you really concerned about here?" Better understanding a counterparty's motivation, their fears or risk concerns, may lead to creative, alternate ways of addressing that concern. All too often, what a party says they want is not exactly the same thing as what they actually want. Pivoting away from the immediate conflict to discuss and address core motivating emotions can lead to creative solutions and surprising, positive results.

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Marian Cucu

Interim General Manager Lindstrom Romania | Executive MBA
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Emotions are coming up exactly when we don’t need them. Yes, that’s their job, to protect us from danger. Important is that we should learn how to manage them, and identify them correctly. Is it a real danger or only a fake threat of our brain? If we have problems with identifying these things, a therapist in cognitive behavioral can help us.

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What do you do if emotions run high during contract negotiation?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Stay Calm

2 Listen Actively

3 Use 'I' Statements

4 Seek Solutions

5 Take a Break

6 Reflect and Learn

7 Here’s what else to consider

Contract Negotiation

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What do you do if emotions run high during contract negotiation?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Stay Calm

2 Listen Actively

3 Use 'I' Statements

4 Seek Solutions

5 Take a Break

6 Reflect and Learn

7 Here’s what else to consider

Contract Negotiation

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