Does love bloom by spending time with people?

Loving someone by just spending lots of time with them is quite impossible. Love is more above of spending time thing. You still love people whom with you can't spend more time like most of the people do in long distance relationship. We spend more time with our colleagues everyday but still we hate them sometimes , they are being irritating sometimes. So falling in love with just spending time is nearly impossible. But in general, I think a relationship will be pushed in one direction or another with more (one-on-one) time. Most of the time, I suspect it pushes feelings in a positive direction (but this is just based on my own experience).

For instance, in college I had an acquaintance that I disliked (disliked enough that it bothered me, since he was a member of our Christian group and clearly held me in high esteem). Then we were trapped in each other's company for a good 8 hours (overnight road trip for which he was driving, and everyone else in our vehicle was sleeping). So we talked a lot, I got to know him a lot better, and I found myself… well, not in love or anything, but I was finally able to enjoy his company and let go of the aspects of his personality that had gotten under my skin.

Yes it’s true. the more we spend the more we share isn’t it? By the way based on ancient Greek philosophy, Love has 4 names: Agape/Unconditional love. Eros/Romantic love. Philia/Brotherly love. Storge/familial love. In my opinion any other answer or advise (including me) to you about this thing was BS, you have to experience it by yourself. The moment your friendship turn into love you can call it Storge which based on commitment and long term relationship.

If you have an interests and attracted, loved them at the beginning. There are guys I met that I didn’t like at all and the more time I spent times with them the more I dislike them. It depends.?And there are plenty of people I spent tons of time with and their presence is still a bother to me. It really depends of the person, if you might get attached or not. A nice person, you might start loving, not necessarily like lovers, maybe like the friend kind of love instead, finding always more about how nice this person is. But a scumbag will remain a scumbag no matter how long you stick to it.

Just because I was friends with quite a few guys in the group. Guess what? insecure guys are common, and eventually they show their true colors. Lots have been angry at my rejection, entitled, and abusive. I drew my line in the sand and refused to negotiate or even argue. No one is entitled to my feeling, labor, or body. Get over it. But there are some, who, while they may have been attracted, were nothing but upstanding respectful citizens, and remain my friend ten years later. Thoughts aren’t wrong. Even feelings aren’t wrong. People have them. What’s wrong is being an ass cause your ego got in the way. If you say, “Hey, I have feelings for you, and it’s hard to be around you,” which some have…

My response is, “Hey, I appreciate the honesty, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, and this is best for both of us if we don’t hang out alone. Thanks for not adding unnecessary shame or pressure to the situation. See you around.” And in fact, sometimes this is an irresistible act of love which makes me see them in a totally different light. I dated one of those guys. Something non-negotiable came up and we parted, again, respectfully. The above represents responsible, respectful adult interactions. If someone thinks it’s not possible, that’s obviously a red flag.

Also, someone once told me that no guy would ever hang out unless he was interested. This actually caused me quite a bit of turmoil, because the implication was that I was only liked because there was a possibility of sex. If I believed that, how could I make friends without feeling like a whore? For wanting and needing community and friendships? For wanting to feel valued as a person? For expecting the same courtesy I show people? For expecting not to be objectified? For having an internal moral compass that doesn’t objectify people?

This point of view inflicts shame on women for what? For having basic human needs? It teaches them not to expect common human decency. It teaches them to expect objectifying behavior. And then, when they are objectified, it puts the blame back on them instead of on the person doing it, where it belongs. I know a lot might not agree with me but still, hear me out. I think it’s really a case by case, or person to person per say, but cheating is a psychological behavior. Now, there’s three types of behaviors. Subconscious Behaviors which you don’t really realize you’re doing, Learned Behaviors which you were taught by watching another person, and Chosen Behaviors which you do because you want to.

Cheating is a Chosen Behavior. Now in order to decide as to whether or not it’s going to be a continuous choice or possibly is by looking at the persons previous choice as well. I know some people who have made the choice with literally every single partner they’ve had, both whom they were in defined and undefined relationships with. They are someone that would be better benefitted by being in polygamous relationships as that would have a better chance for a successful one, as these people will most likely “always” cheat.

I also know people who have cheated in 2/3’s of their relationships but we’re faithful in all the others without any specific order. These people might have higher chance to not “always” be a cheater as they have shown to be capable of choosing the option of being faithful in the other 1/3 of their relationships but they’re still more than likely to make the choice of cheating in the future but not do it constantly. Or they may make the choice of cheating on their partner once but then choose they’d rather choose to be faithful to that partner going forward instead.

There are also the people who have chosen to cheat in the past but however, chose not to cheat and we’re faithful in 2/3’s of their relationships and only chose to cheat in the 1/3 of the relationships instead. In both their defined and undefined relationships this person has almost always chosen to be faithful but they still had a relationship where they made the choice to cheat. Maybe they chose to as a means of revenge for their partner doing it or maybe the reason was that the relationship wasn’t satisfying sexually or it just wasn’t progressing in anyway and they just didn’t know how to end it yet. Either way, they only made the choice in an unhappy/unhealthy relationship.

These people are very unlikely to “always” cheat. That means if they are in a relationship where they feel comfortable with their partner and shows an effort in them then they won’t make the choice to ever cheat. It does not mean that there won’t “always” be an option but it does means that you should be more willing to give them your trust if they’re pursuing a relationship with you. I say this because cheating is something that is always going to be a choice that anyone in a relationship could make but it doesn’t mean they will. Cheers!