Dispelling the Myths About Introverted Female Leaders

Aloof; doesn’t care; lacking confidence, these are just some of the accusations that introverted female leaders have thrown at them. Because we may be quiet and reserved, many people think that we lack passion for the work that we do.

Last year when I wrote my article Accepting Yourself as You are as a Female Introverted Leader, I was inundated with enquiries and responses from women all over the world, sharing their experiences of how they had been made to feel like something was wrong with them because the corporate environment often views introversion as a weakness rather than a strength.

In many western corporate cultures, if you are not loud with a gregarious personality, it can be as if you are insignificant and as if your views don’t really count for anything.

But many people have mistaken beliefs about introverted female leaders and in this post, I highlight 5 myths about introverted female leaders that really aren’t necessarily true.

They lack confidence

Many people associate introversion with a lack of confidence. And in fact, many introverted women have come to believe that they lack confidence, simply because they are introverts, thinking that something is wrong with them.

As a child, I lacked confidence and my earliest memory of lacking confidence was just before I started school. I remember going to visit the school with my mum and being in the school hall where all the other kids were playing with each other, having fun, but I clung to my mum, not wanting to join in.

Throughout my childhood, teens and early 20s, I was quiet and lacking in confidence. It was only as I started to work on my self development in my 20s, I realised that it wasn’t that I lacked confidence, I was a quiet person. I was an introvert. Because I wasn’t a life and soul of the party type person, I was mistaking how I was for a lack of confidence.

Once I accepted myself as I was, and that it was ok, I actually saw my confidence levels soar. I am a quiet, introverted, confident woman. I am #introvertandproud. I can be the life and soul of the party in the right environments, in my own introverted way.

A lack of confidence can affect introverts and extroverts alike. Just because someone is an introvert, doesn’t automatically equate to them lacking confidence.

They are indecisive in meetings

For many introverts, rather than shooting from the hip, listening and reflecting before speaking and then making an informed contribution is what they prefer to do.

As a result, you may not necessarily see them being forthright with their views at meetings. You may think that they are not being vocal enough, questioning to yourself, the purpose of them being there. But the voice of reason is often required along with spontaneity, when important decisions are being made.

The way that many corporate meetings are run, doesn’t necessarily allow for this introspection, with speedy decisions being preferred over well thought out ones, making them more conducive towards extroverts. 

Both introverts and extroverts have something valuable to contribute and playing to our strengths makes for more powerful results.

They don’t care about performance

Introverts may not throw their toys out of their prams when they have a problem. They may not shout out to all and sundry about what they are doing. But this doesn’t in anyway mean that they do not care about performance.

Instead, many introverts prefer to let the results of the work that they do speak for itself. It’s unlikely that you will see them stamping their feet like an angry child, crying out until they get heard.

In a noisy environment where everyone is ‘shouting’ about themselves and what they are achieving, introverts may get lost in the noise. When this happens, finding ways to promote themselves in ways that are authentic to them, will help them stand out above the racket.

They are afraid of networking

Large, noisy, small talking environments are not necessarily the preferred way that introverts like to network. Tending to prefer deeper, meaningful conversations where they can make a connection is often the way that introverted female leaders thrive.

Yes, because of this some may be fearful of networking in those large, ‘noisy’ networking environments. And because a lot of networking events are set up this way, this is more to do with them knowing that it is just not the right kind of environment for them. 

Networking is about making meaningful connections and developing relationships. It’s not necessarily the case that introverts are afraid of networking, it’s that they prefer situations where they are connecting with fewer people, not just making small talk, but getting to have meaningful conversations.

They are not good at leading others

Some people wrongly assume that because introverts are quieter and reserved, they won’t be good at leading others. But this is far from true. Because of their reflective style, introverts are likely to listen carefully to the people that they lead, giving them autonomy to develop their own ideas, allowing them to grow and develop. This makes for engaged, motivated employees.

Their calm persona doesn’t invoke panic in times of crisis. This can project a reassuring confidence in the midst of challenging circumstances.

Along with their good listening skills, introverts can be good at building empathy with the teams that they lead. Empathy is a critical skill for effective leadership because it helps to build trust.

They don’t like public speaking

Because introverts tend to not to want to be the centre of attention and they are not loud and brash, many people assume that they are not going to like public speaking. However, many introverts do actually love public speaking (myself included), particularly if they are speaking about a topic that they are passionate about.

Their introverted, reflective nature makes it easier to develop an awareness of how engaged their audience is, enabling them to make sure that they are keeping their audience engaged with what they are saying and the way that they are delivering it.

Because introverts prefer not to put the attention on themselves, their delivery focuses on the message and the audience and how it will benefit their audience.

I have only highlighted 5 myths, there are many others. And whilst the myths I have highlighted will not be myths for some introverts, for some they will ring true. Likewise, the same will also apply to some extroverts. But just because someone is an introvert, it doesn’t necessarily automatically mean that these beliefs are true.

Having a senior leadership team with a mix of introverts and extroverts that are cohesive and utilise each other’s strengths, makes for an enriched experience and an effective senior leadership team.

Are you an introverted female leader that has had mistaken beliefs made about you? If so, please share what these were below and how you dealt with it, or are dealing with it?

ABOUT ME:

I am The Coach for High Achieving Introverted Women, an Executive, Career, Business Coach, Writer, Speaker, UK top 50 Business Adviser and the founder of Abounding Solutions . With over 25 years coaching and leadership experience, I help women (with a particular emphasis on introverted women) to be authentic, bold, confident leaders and excel in their careers and businesses.

I also help organisations develop the talent pipeline of female employees so that more women make it to senior management roles.

I write here on LinkedIn, on my website and on Huffington Post on subjects to help women achieve optimal potential in their careers and businesses.

Are you a high achieving introverted senior woman? If so, join my new LinkedIn community for high achieving introverted senior women, who are members of senior management teams or executive teams. It is a place to discuss issues relating to your career and how to thrive in environments that don't view introversion as a strength. Come and join the conversation here.

All high achieving women who want to be authentic, bold, confident leaders and excel in their careers and businesses are welcome to join my other, more general community of High Achieving Women here