How do you set clear boundaries in a mentoring relationship?

As a mentor for skill education and personal development, I encourage my mentees to be proactive in self actualization of their dreams. PURPOSE is through passion or action, by defining the main reason and the scope of their dreams, we set boundaries in order to make it a reality. Orientation is very important before embarking on a training program, this highlights the main aspect of the training, purpose of being here and strategies needed to achieve that purpose. Boundaries should be set in order for both parties to have an agreement, self respect and collaboration. When Parties respect the boundary set, in order to achieve a purpose, through commitment, discipline and consistency, the outcome will be successful.

One of my first experiences with a mentorship program occurred through the Ohio Bar Association, when I was a newly licensed attorney. Upon signing up, I received a curriculum, pre-reading suggestions, and expectations my mentor had of me as his mentee. One of his stated expectations was that I would send him discussion topics (and why they were important to me) 48 hours before our meeting. I believe these practices set us up for success. He understood what was important to me based on my life experiences and had context for where productive conversations could begin. Decades later, I still use these best practices with my mentees.

I have learnt that, clearly defining the purpose and goals of the mentorship. Also establishing boundaries around time commitments and availability, ensuring mentor and mentee have realistic expectations.

-In my experience, I have got good outcomes in a mentor-mentee relationship ( me being the mentor) when I have: 1) Let them know we are going to be together only for the duration of the project so as to extend best professional cooperation 2) Set mutually agreed upon timings for communication of updates, operational support etc 3) Respected the mentees’s space and dignity just like I would want in return 4) Guided when need be, but not spoon fed-this helps the mentee to grow within and trust,thus respect boundaries 5) Shown consistency from my end

Confidentiality is really important! Confidentiality is a cornerstone of effective mentoring, fostering trust and open communication. By agreeing on the level of confidentiality within the mentoring relationship, mentors and mentees create a safe space where sensitive information can be shared without fear of judgment or inappropriate disclosure. This practice not only encourages honest discussions, respectful boundaries, and meaningful guidance but also establishes a foundation of respect that enhances the overall mentoring experience.

In my experience, if we are unable to facilitate open communication then we need a mentor. Honest communication is the hallmark of any relationship as it transcends accent, syntactic errors etc.

Being able to communicate on leveled terms is always helpful. Recognising your responsibility in the relationship and learning not to take things personally is also key.

Communication is the basis of all relationships. This is a standard for building rapport with anyone. The difference is in the fact that as a mentor you are going to be held to higher standards. Therefore, you must be comprehensive in your approach to ensure that there is no confusion. You must give them the proper attention to ensure that you are actually improving their lives. It's important to make sure that the feedback loop is clearly established to make sure you can track progression. It's extremely important to have these check-in systems in place so that you can implement solutions to issues in a timely manner as they arise.

I believe that the best way to establish boundaries' is to agree and document clear concise objectives that are achievable for the person you are working with. When you have clear documented objectives, meeting with the person and ongoing communications are already defined. It also makes the relationship focused and productive.

Performing a 360° self-evaluation can be incredibly challenging, if not virtually impossible. A more effective approach might involve delegating this task to a trusted friend and allowing them to provide the evaluation.

Having short but regular meetings can help keep the focus and dedication in place. This builds on the relationship with respect for each other's place, time and purpose.

The most important aspect of setting boundaries is respecting each other's time needs. In my experience, this has been helpful for my mentee's learning curve. Think about it - Would it be beneficial to push them beyond their learning capacity and deliver in a short deadline or would it be more helpful to acknowledge their capacity and provide the time that they need?

Create a routine. When you have a standard operation it takes out the guesswork. It's important to have these routines in place so that you can use prevention as a means to fortify your mentee with the appropriate information to help the progress in the long run.

The periodicity, length and content of the meeting need to in line with the agreed SMART goals. This helps both of the involved to be dynamic in their approach. For example, a few topics / follow ups don’t need more than 15 minutes.

Maintaining confidentiality and privacy within a mentoring relationship is a crucial aspect that underscores mutual trust and respect. It reinforces the idea that the space created for growth and learning is safe and nonjudgmental. Upholding this principle ensures that both mentors and mentees feel free to share their thoughts, experiences, and challenges openly. It also demonstrates a commitment to honoring individual boundaries, promoting a sense of autonomy, and fostering a deeper sense of connection. Ultimately, by prioritizing confidentiality and privacy, we build a foundation of authenticity and reliability that enhances the overall quality of the mentoring journey.

It's extremely important to refrain from divulging information on your mentees. This allows them the ability to establish trust with you. Trust is an important quality in credibility.

Mark of maturity is the ability to maintain confidentiality & privacy. In fact I present success stories as case studies instead of being specific about the mentee. There are times when the mentee wouldn’t like the World to be known that they are being mentored.

If we take feedback with a constructive mindset and are willing to adapt ourselves this will drive us forward and ultimately be a major contributing factor to achieving what we set forth to do. Being able to listen to understand is an underated skill.

Feedback Loop: Create a system of tracking progress. When you are able to quantify your contributions and their success from your contributions you are able to build upon that success even further. Also knowing where things didn't go well and having the ability to improve upon blindsides... will also give you the ability to improve your own mentorship qualities. It's important for both the mentor and the mentee to provide this feedback to help them both improve and create success.

Learning is the common word here. The content & context is different for mentor & mentee. A robust relationship is one where there is a two way flow of feedback.

Mentoring also means to review whether both share the common goal and review the progress towards the same on regular intervals to make it more effective and in line with the goal.

Mentoring is different from Counselling It needs to be clear to the mentors that they are not psychologists or counsellors and are not trained and equipped to deal with mental health issues. If a mentee requires mental health support, please refer .

When you're helping someone learn and grow, like a mentor does, it's really important to have some clear rules. First, talk about what you both expect and how you'll talk to each other. Decide when you'll be available to help and what things you can give advice about. Remember to keep personal things private and be respectful when you give feedback. Also, talk about how long you'll be helping and what happens when you finish. It's good to talk about these things from time to time to make sure everyone is happy and comfortable. This way, both of you can have a good and helpful time together.

Mentoring and coaching are often and incorrectly interchanged. Coaching is an obligation of a superior to the members of the team. It is the job of the coach to teach, guide, supervise, and manage those team members. Mentoring, on the other hand, is the opportunity to assist someone in their developmental and learning journey. It can take a variety of roles. But it is uniquely, not a superior-subordinate relationship. Quite the contrary, it provides an individual a safe harbor to bring their ideas, their concerns, their questions, and other topics they would prefer to not have to ask a superior in their formal role. The mentor guides, praises, occasionally scolds, but in a safe environment for their mentee. And it’s an honor to do so!

I think everyone's perspective is different in mentorship. I have supervised so many that have gone on to do amazing in their career's as well as their lives. My mentee's saw me as someone they could always come to advice. To this day, they call me to ask questions about their career's and their lives. I guess I'm like the mama bear that wants to build healthy relationships with boundaries of course, but, where you can always count on me to be of service.