How do you set boundaries with your peer support partner?

1 What are boundaries?

Boundaries are the limits and expectations that you and your peer support partner agree on to protect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Boundaries can be explicit, such as rules or guidelines, or implicit, such as norms or values. Boundaries can cover topics such as communication, confidentiality, roles, responsibilities, feedback, and self-care.

2 Why are boundaries important?

Boundaries are important because they help you and your peer support partner to establish trust, respect, and mutual support. Boundaries can also prevent or reduce potential conflicts, misunderstandings, or harm that could arise from peer support. Boundaries can help you to maintain your own identity, autonomy, and recovery goals, as well as to respect those of your peer support partner.

3 How to set boundaries?

Setting boundaries is an ongoing process that involves open and honest communication between you and your peer support partner. To help you set boundaries, it’s important to identify your needs, preferences, and limits. Share these boundaries with your partner and listen to theirs. Negotiate and agree on the boundaries, finding a balance between both of your needs. Additionally, review and update the boundaries regularly, checking in with your peer support partner periodically. Give and receive feedback constructively and adjust or revise the boundaries if needed. Writing down or documenting the boundaries can also be helpful.

4 What to do if boundaries are crossed?

Sometimes, boundaries may be crossed unintentionally or intentionally by you or your peer support partner, leading to feelings of frustration, anger, hurt, or guilt. It is important to recognize and acknowledge the boundary crossing, and to communicate and address it calmly and respectfully. Talk about what happened, how you feel, and what you need. Listen to the other person's perspective and feelings. Apologize or accept an apology if appropriate. Resolve the boundary crossing by agreeing on how to prevent or handle similar situations in the future. Reaffirm or renegotiate boundaries if needed. Lastly, rebuild trust and respect with your peer support partner.

5 How to end peer support?

Peer support is not meant to last forever, and there may come a time when you or your peer support partner feel ready to end or transition the relationship. To do so, plan and prepare for the end of peer support. Discuss with your partner when and how you want to end or transition the relationship, set a timeline and expectations, and review your progress and achievements together. Celebrate and appreciate the peer support you have given and received, expressing gratitude and recognition for each other. Decide if you want to stay in contact after the end of peer support, respecting each other's wishes and boundaries. If you choose to maintain contact, clarify the nature and frequency of your communication. Ultimately, by setting healthy and respectful boundaries, you can enhance the quality and effectiveness of your peer support relationship. Remember that there are many resources available to support your well-being and recovery.