How do you set boundaries with a colleague who constantly asks for your help with their tasks?

The concept of assessing needs is two-fold. 1. What are your needs? The only way you will be able to set boundaries is to know your own boundaries. That requires a full understanding on your goals and how you plan to spend your time. 2. What are their needs and how do they stack up against yours? Do they have their time planned and have they prioritized their activities. If not, challenge them to set a solid plan in place and verify they really need you help with tasks. If you have the opportunity to help, then dive in. However, if the timing is not right, then negotiate a better timeframe that fits your needs.

Setting boundaries with a colleague who constantly asks for help requires a combination of clear communication and assertiveness. First, I assess my own workload to ensure I'm not compromising my tasks. When approached, I politely but firmly explain that while I’m willing to help occasionally, I can't regularly take on additional work. I suggest they try to handle the task independently first, and then come to me with specific questions. If the requests continue, I might propose setting up a regular, short meeting to address their concerns, which limits interruptions. By being consistent and respectful in my responses, I maintain a supportive yet professional relationship without overextending myself.

I access them. I’m a person that needs to take notes, screenshot and ask questions when onboarding, learning a new task or getting a new responsibility. When I’ve trained people and not one peep of going too fast or questions or even then writing their name in the notebook, I know they are going to be coming back asking for assistance. So now I: 1- show them start to finish 2- walk through with them 3- let them take the wheel Then stand back and access where they need more help. If after many months and they are still asking for help, I gently encourage them to go back through the steps while I watch. But I can’t do their work along with mine.

We are not meant to be mind readers! Open and effective communication is key. Letting an employee know when/if you have availability may change the way they approach this situation in the future. I also highly recommend directing them to their people manager if they need additional resources on a specific project.

Genuinely stop for a second to acknowledge whether you're getting enough sleep, nutrition, sunlight, physical movement, time with loved ones, passionate hobbies, etc. What enhances our ability to meet a phenomenal quality of work is when we enhance the quality in which we meet ourselves, needing to reach this in a healthy way that benefits all involved. Childhood trauma surrounding productivity can lead to unconscious patterns (overworking, boundary-loss, self-sabotage, people-pleasing). If your boss is not catering to your needs and is overworking you, set firm boundaries. Healing low core values shapes our productivity sustainably. The best work comes from a place of rest, not distress. This must be a top priority for you and others.

As always, put your own oxygen mask on first. When you have enough time for your own deep work, then you'll have the ability to help coworkers. Make sure that you block your work time off on the shared calendar (if there is one) as Do Not Disturb, and make clear that no one is to interrupt you. You might consider holding "office hours" outside of your deep work time to help others, or letting your colleagues know when you're open to collaborate. Your colleagues will build their autonomy as well as learn to take care of things as much as they can when you have clear limits as to how much you can help them. By giving them time to try things themselves while you're doing your own work, you help them build their own problem-solving skills.

You can give helpful tips and offer tools that are relevant. Encourage them to do it while you are making corrections. With time they will learn to do it themselves.

Guide them through the first steps of problem-solving without taking over. “Why don’t you start with X and then move on to Y?

Prompt them to think critically about the problem by asking questions. “What have you tried so far? What do you think the next step should be?”

Empower your colleague to become more self-sufficient by guiding them on how to find solutions independently. Provide resources, suggest training, or recommend tools that can help them manage their tasks more effectively. This not only reduces their reliance on you but also fosters their professional growth.

Here's what else to consider: Communicate your priorities: Explain your own workload & deadlines to help them see why you can't always drop everything to assist. Set clear expectations: Establish a time for when you're available to help, and stick to those boundaries. Offer alternatives: Suggest other resources or team members who might be able to assist instead. Avoid enabling behaviour: Be cautious not to create a dependency by rescuing them; encourage them to develop their own skills & problem-solving abilities. Practice assertive responses: Say “no”. Document agreements: If 1 agrees to help, clarify the scope & times in writing to avoid misunderstandings.

Delegate or Redirect If the requests are beyond your capacity or expertise, suggest that your colleague seek help from other team members or supervisors. This can distribute the workload more evenly and ensure that they receive the appropriate support.