How do you persuade others in negotiations?

I used to think negotiation was like a tug-of-war. A battle of wits and nerve. That's exhausting - and it's not exactly a great way to start a relationship. Here's my mantra now: seek to understand before you seek to be understood. Listen. Dig in. What do they really care about? Do they really want a discount or is it more of a concern with cashflow? Great negotiation should feel like you both walk away happy - and with a mutual feeling of respect and trust.

In my experience be honest, courteous and reasonable: point out the advantages snd draw backs. Be sincere, be willing to flex!

In a negotiation it is best to stay as real as possible, relate to the customers pain and needs and use every example of how your product or service can eliminate those pains. Stay on topic, do not bring up anything above or beyond the topic in hand so the customer just thinks about how you are solving the issue at hand.

Its good to get on the same page, make your perspective clear and state its a perspective, asking for adjustments to your perspective.

Understanding the goals of the other party is indeed paramount. This is a process that requires a high level of trust which, if established, allows for the creation of an ideal negotiation environment. If trust is not yet fully formed, one must utilize good research and intuition to discern what the other party truly seeks. One technique to do this effectively is to look for the "question behind the question", which often reveals the heart of their motivations.

Setting aside personal ego is critical during negotiations. Once ego takes center stage, the negotiation becomes more complex and emotionally charged, diverting focus from the actual deal at hand. It's vital to remain centered on the deal, setting personal feelings aside to ensure clear and effective communication and understanding.

Successful negotiation comes from understanding the other party's perspective. To achieve this, negotiators must listen actively, demonstrate empathy and use tools like mirroring their interlocutor's language and summarizing their points to show comprehension. Emotional Intelligence is a vital characteristic of top negotiators. Managing emotions, both our own and the other party's. Recognizing and labeling emotions helps to diffuse potential hostility and foster a cooperative environment.

Sometimes you may get stuck with answers like "this is just our policy" when you are trying to ascertain the reason behind the other party's reluctance to budge. To unlock the situation, try framing your request as one which will help you get the message across to your business stakeholders - e.g. "It would really help me escalate this internally to my stakeholders, if I better understood the specific reasons behind your position".

Adopting a long-term perspective during negotiations is generally a wise approach. This mindset offers valuable insights and fosters a comprehensive view of the deal rather than focusing solely on immediate gains. Playing the long game allows one to see the broader implications of the deal, ensuring it's beneficial in the long run.

When tensions get high, try taking a breath and acknowledge this outloud. The reality is that everyone is aware of this and is likely not having a great time either. Try being honest about this while also calmly reminding yourself and everyone else that your goal is to reach an agreement satisfactory to both parties. This can often diffuse the tension and allow everyone to hit reset on their emotions.

Getting the other party to say "That's right". This phrase shows that you've effectively empathized with their viewpoint, making them more likely to cooperate with you.

Framing your offer as a "give and take" can help too, as it emphasises your goal of finding the best middle ground for each party. It also signals to the other party that you are willing to be flexible, and at the same time that the point you're giving into does have a value associated with it.

There are many keys to a successful negotiation, however, there is one that I find overlooked more than others and it can completely subvert a successful negotiation. It is critical to understand how your colleague across the table views the relationship between the two entities. I like to look at the negotiation on a scale of 1-10. “1” is a straight up I win/you lose view of the negotiation whereas for a “10” both entities are willing to share detailed information regarding their products, services, costs, etc. to create a win/win situation. Understanding where both of you are on this scale will allow you to properly prepare for your negotiation and increase your odds of success.

It's crucial not to get trapped in a mindset of winning for the sake of winning. Pursuing minor victories at the expense of the other party can ultimately be detrimental, undermining trust and future collaborations. It's important to negotiate fairly, perhaps even leaving a bit on the table. This approach reflects a mindset of abundance and fairness, acknowledging that a good deal is one in which both parties feel they have gained.

Know what the pie is! In any negotiation, you need to know the pie: The pie is the reason the negotiation is taking place. It's what the parties are trying to divide. The first question almost everyone asks is, how do you divide it? If you know exactly what is the pie (hence, what is the extra value created with the nego) you can split the pie in a fair way, optimizing the nego and facilitating you the job of persuading others.