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Last updated on 2024年5月16日

How do you negotiate or compromise with someone who has a different perspective or interest than yours?

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Relationship building is a vital skill for any professional, but it can also be challenging when you encounter disagreements, conflicts, or misunderstandings with others. How do you negotiate or compromise with someone who has a different perspective or interest than yours? How do you express your needs and feelings without hurting or offending others? How do you deal with criticism, feedback, or rejection? In this article, we will share some tips and strategies on how to handle difficult conversations and situations with tact and diplomacy, and how to strengthen your relationships in the process.

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Peter Schellenberger
Sanjeev Soni

International maritime trainer, facilitator and business coach. Expert in development and implementation of human…
Ashlea Harwood Assoc CIPD

?? Passionate about HR, Building Strong Teams and Positive Work Cultures ??

1 Identify the goal and the problem

Before you engage in a difficult conversation or situation, it is important to clarify what you want to achieve and what the issue is. Do you want to resolve a dispute, persuade someone, ask for something, or give feedback? What is the main source of disagreement or tension? How does it affect you and the other person? By identifying the goal and the problem, you can prepare yourself mentally and emotionally, and avoid getting sidetracked by irrelevant or personal matters.

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Peter Schellenberger
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The question is whether, given a good set of negotiation and communication skills, you want to manipulate or convince the other person. In my view if both People are open to exchange views convincing to at least the smallest common denominator is the way to go. Not to forget that it is totally normal to communicate with someone who has a different viewpoint, that makes it all the more interesting to hunt for success to find trigger points to get your message across. When it comes to sales and marketing it helps to have a bit of “terrier style” and not be discouraged by first defeat. Pick yourself up and try again from a different angle and try to put yourself into the other parties shoes. Never give up!

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Sanjeev Soni

International maritime trainer, facilitator and business coach. Expert in development and implementation of human performance management systems.
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Trying to get to know the interests of the parties involved in the negotiation process helps to see what you can give to them, before deciding how to take everything from them. Not so obvious, but giving the other party what they value and seeking from them what you value is the key to a good or great negotiation. A win-win strategy (both get most of what they want or seek) is much better than meeting 'half-way' in which both parties lose a good part of their interest.

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Ashlea Harwood Assoc CIPD

?? Passionate about HR, Building Strong Teams and Positive Work Cultures ??
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By identifying what you want the end result to be, you can navigate the conversation around that. With no real end or goal in mind, you can go down a rabbit hole with the disagreement. It ends up turning emotional and the problem usually doesn't resolve in these cases.

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Namrata Singh, GPHR, SHRM SCP, PSK I

Talent Acquisition Expert/ Black Belt in Internet Recruitment/Tech Recruitment Certified Professional - The Struggle is Real, Keep Calm And Continue Recruiting
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Diversity of perspectives can be a valuable asset if leveraged effectively to achieve common goals. Each person brings unique thoughts and understandings to the table, which can help identify blind spots. I recall a project where our group included someone skilled in math, great with numbers, and others, focused on qualitative & behavioral aspects. By combining our strengths, we reached our goal efficiently and achieved impressive results within our deadline.

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2 Choose the right time and place

Timing and setting can make a big difference in how a difficult conversation or situation unfolds. You want to choose a time and place that is convenient, comfortable, and respectful for both parties. Avoid initiating a conversation when you or the other person are busy, stressed, angry, or distracted. Instead, ask for their permission and availability, and suggest a neutral or private location. This way, you can minimize interruptions, distractions, and emotional triggers, and create a more conducive atmosphere for dialogue.

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Ashlea Harwood Assoc CIPD

?? Passionate about HR, Building Strong Teams and Positive Work Cultures ??
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Never deal with a situation emotionally. Finding the right time and place means you are both entering a conversation in a better state of mind. It also prevents other people getting involved.

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3 Listen actively and empathetically

One of the key skills for handling difficult conversations and situations with tact and diplomacy is listening. Listening is not just hearing what the other person says, but also understanding their perspective, feelings, and needs. To listen actively and empathetically, you need to pay attention, ask open-ended questions, reflect back what you hear, and acknowledge their emotions. By doing so, you can show respect, build rapport, and validate their experience, even if you do not agree with them.

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Ashlea Harwood Assoc CIPD

?? Passionate about HR, Building Strong Teams and Positive Work Cultures ??
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Listening is an underrated skill. To be able to have an effective conversation, even one with differing views, you have to understand where they are coming from. Disagreement is fine, but handling it from an ignorant place isn't.

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4 Communicate clearly and respectfully

Another essential skill for handling difficult conversations and situations with tact and diplomacy is communication. Communication is not just saying what you think, but also expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a way that is clear, respectful, and constructive. To communicate effectively, you need to use "I" statements, avoid blaming, accusing, or attacking, and focus on the facts and the solutions. You also need to be assertive, not aggressive or passive, and state your position and preferences without imposing or compromising them.

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5 Seek common ground and mutual benefit

The ultimate goal of any difficult conversation or situation is to find a resolution that is satisfactory and beneficial for both parties. To achieve this, you need to seek common ground and mutual benefit, rather than competing or compromising. You need to identify the shared interests, values, and goals that you and the other person have, and explore the options and alternatives that can meet them. You also need to be flexible, creative, and willing to negotiate and collaborate, rather than insisting or conceding.

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6 Follow up and follow through

The last step in handling difficult conversations and situations with tact and diplomacy is to follow up and follow through. This means that you need to confirm the agreement or action plan that you and the other person have reached, and check in with them regularly to monitor the progress and outcomes. You also need to follow through on your commitments and responsibilities, and hold the other person accountable for theirs. By doing so, you can demonstrate your reliability, integrity, and respect, and strengthen your relationship in the long run.

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How do you negotiate or compromise with someone who has a different perspective or interest than yours?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Identify the goal and the problem

2 Choose the right time and place

3 Listen actively and empathetically

4 Communicate clearly and respectfully

5 Seek common ground and mutual benefit

6 Follow up and follow through

Relationship Building

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How do you negotiate or compromise with someone who has a different perspective or interest than yours?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Identify the goal and the problem

2 Choose the right time and place

3 Listen actively and empathetically

4 Communicate clearly and respectfully

5 Seek common ground and mutual benefit

6 Follow up and follow through

Relationship Building

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