How do you motivate uncooperative coachees?

The purpose of a first meeting is to find out if you and your coachee can work together. In the spirit of coaching if your coachee isn’t prepared to do “the work” and you don’t think you can add value with your approach then coaching isn’t the right option at that time.

Name it. When a coach observes a coachee to be seemingly resistant to the relationship, it's an opportunity for the coach to check out their assumption in a non-confrontational way. That may sound like: I sense some resistance to this conversation, what can you tell me about that? Giving the coachee an opportunity to share how they are feeling and reminding them they are choice (even if the coaching is mandated, there is still choice in how you proceed) can go a long way to building trust.

Probably important here to define a little what uncooperative behavior might look like… much of the time if an individual is invested in the coaching relationship, the behavior can simply be part of the process and is a necessary input to unpack. If the uncooperative aspects are rather about objections to coaching itself then a different, more objection handling approach might be needed. Or it simply can be that there are genuine barriers the coachee is facing including time, physical location etc. Finally I would advise care as “uncooperative” is a value laden term coming from the perspective of the coach and we do understand that we should be always on the coachees agenda where the behavior may look very different.

We often get the coachee to draw a tree on a piece of paper. Most often, they will draw the tree that they see, but forget the most important part, which is, of course, the complete root system. The root system provides the nutrients, the stability, and the connection with other trees. What they tend to draw is the end results, the after-effects, the consequences of what they have experienced. Getting to the root cause is vital, if the coachee is to find out what they need to do to change reality for them. By highlighting the root causes, there is a better chance of any change discussed actually being put into action.

If a coachee isn't being cooperative, the coach needs to determine why. The person agreed to be coached in the beginning. What has changed since then? Have an open discussion that includes what the coachee initially expected and how they feel it is going. Do their expectations align with what you can offer and are you in agreement on the process? Continue the open discussion with what you can offer and mutually determine if it makes sense to continue. Lastly, the conversation could also reveal that what you are interpreting as uncooperative may have nothing to do with the coaching. Something may be going on in their life that is impeding their progress. If that's the case, it would be best to pause any further sessions.

Working with a coachee who is uncooperative could be challenging, and it will be wise to check if the ethical boundaries of coaching are being breached by coaching an uncooperative coachee. It will be imperative for the coach to do a hygiene check on the following before moving to motivation. - If the coachee is part of the coaching process voluntarily - their right to autonomy and self-determination is not compromised. -They have consented to be part of the coaching program and are comfortable with the coach. -Whether the coachee reposes trust in the process, especially around confidentiality and safety.

Además ayudarle a tu coachee a conectar con las razones que le llevaron a trabajar en un inicio contigo puede contribuir a que se abra y desee continuar o retomar el trabajo que ya estaban realizando.

I think Unmotivated and uncooperative coaches can stem from several root causes. Here are two possibilities : Burnout: Excessive workload, lack of support, or constant negativity can drain a coach's enthusiasm. This can lead to a sense of helplessness and a withdrawal from actively engaging with their players. Misaligned Values: A coach who doesn't share the team's goals or coaching philosophy might become disengaged. This can happen if a coach is pressured into a role they're not suited for or if the team culture clashes with their coaching style.

It's always the coachee's goals. As a coach, I don't set the goals. It's the coachee's plan on how to achieve those goals. What is the behavior that's going to change? How are we going to measure it? How will we know what success looks like? Of course, as a coach, I'm going to be supportive in this process and help hold you accountable to what you want to accomplish. If the coachee isn't meeting their goals or loses motivation, that's what the coaching conversations are for -- let's dig deeper and explore what's going on.

Aligning on expectations and goals, yes. I'd add getting clarity on a vision - and then to "concretize" it. Know what you'd like to achieve and than try to associate with that future state. Dream a little. A coachee of mine was finishing medical school, and her vision was to start her private practice. Her vision of her practice was extremely concrete, down to the color of the flowers on the reception desk! If a coachee can buy into their own vision, with their mind and senses, then coaching becomes an accepted way to help to get there - with expectations and goals to match.

Another frequent occurrence in coaching processes is that the initial goals established are not really what the coachee wants. They were more of a fantasy, or other peoples' expectations. This means that you may have to change the goals of the process. Either in open negotiation with the HR executives who bought the program - and designed the goals -, or, whenever possible, with the coachee himself. Again, a change of goals mid-process is a frequent occurrence, and it is in fact a great breakthrough. Don't take it as a sign that you failed, rather, congratulate yourself. You have helped a person to stop pursuing unrealistic goals and choose what really makes them tick.

I fully agree, I always start with the end in mind, I use a visualization process, we both step into a space of "reimagining"... What a gift this is, we both get to use our minds on three levels of thinking.

Aligning on expectations and goals is part of building a solid foundation for coaching while facing a lack of cooperation. Clarity about why, what and how of the coaching engagement solidify this, requiring more or less education and re-education about what professional coaching is all about - something that, even nowadays, many potential clients are misinformed about. In the beginning, the coach should not rush the engagement's end goal - it can take several sessions until the true coaching goal can become crystallized. Rather, it is giving assurance that "it's ok to not know yet" can be a valuable step. Gaining this clarity is what a lot of the coaching effort helps build.

I love positive reinforcement, as long as it's not forced and truly genuine. We can all use some positivity in our lives, especially if it helps us see things in a different light. Appreciative inquiry can be useful - looking at 'what went right' as opposed to 'what went wrong?' Take the actions that 'went right' and look at ways to do more of those to lead to more success!

Rather than a technique, positive reinforcement is the genuine support from an interested, dedicated coach, who has become a partner for the client's journey. If effort is made by the coachee and steps are taken in the right direction, isn't it natural (and human) to reinforce this?

Positive reinforcement can take all kinds of shape. One that has proven valuable in the corporate space, is using mentors or buddies that voluntarily check in with the coachees. It's an additional accountability buddy who brings their own experience, motivation and sometimes even friendship to the coachees journey.

I really like to use positive reinforcement to solidify a behavior change or learning. Often, the client doesn't admit it at first, but as days go by, they notice the change or the benefit from that insight. The secret is not to pressure the client and let them reach their own conclusion. Wait for the moment when they are more open to confrontation, so they don't retreat further into themselves.

Stroking and reinforcing are precious only when are based on authenticity. Also negative, conditional stroking on behaviour (such as not engaging in action and not taking accountability for empowerment) are useful in increasing coachee's awareness of their comfort zone.

This is often one of the most important things we do as coaches. Prompting a look at a situation in a new way. Challenging whether that story the coachee is telling themselves is really true, or no longer serves them. It's asking permission and challenging those beliefs in a kind and respectful manner. My biggest 'wins' as a coach (and strongest relationships) have come from having a courageous conversation with a coachee, and sharing what I'm observing even if it is tough for a coachee to hear. It's one of the more important roles we play as coaches.

Be kind not Nice. This was my biggest learning as a coach. What this simply means is that it's best to challenge your coachee if it is in their benefit. Not challenging them just to be nice to them will not lead to a transformational coaching conversation and may limit the value from the session.

When asked about my role as coach, I often answer "to allow the coachee to go where they wouldn't without the coach being present" (that holds true for team as well). Change is hard. Analyzing ourselves and our messy situations is hard. Challenging ourselves is hard. Making deciisons is hard. Based on a supportive rapport, a competent coach is able to "hold the space" where the coachee can "take a deep look in the mirror", explore different perspectives, have the discussions that shouldn't be avoided, set adequate goals, practice new behaviours, and more. Nothing reduces a lack of coaching cooperation more than Aha! moments and results.

Essence of pure coaching is to refrain from motivating the coachee directly. Instead, simply describe what coaching is (if not already done by you), listen to what they have to say, and based on context have some reflective conversation. It is critical for coachee to express their thoughts and feelings freely. In my experience effectiveness of coaching is linked to coachee's intrinsic willlingness & readiness for the coaching process. That genuine readiness is the foundation for transformative actions.

Une qualité souvent sous-estimée parmi les qualités du Coach professionnel et celle de la témérité. La témérité, c’est bousculer et confronter son client pour lui permettre d’avancer vers son objectif. C’est lui rappeler l’enjeu derrière l’atteinte de ce dernier. C’est aussi le questionner sur les raisons qui font qu’il l’accomplit pas la tache qu’il s’était pourtant engagé à accomplir. La témérité du coach permet à un coaché de devoir ??rendre des comptes?? à une personne extérieure à lui même, toujours au service de son objectif.

When I first started coaching, I was regularly asked - by other coaches - what my 'model' or 'style' of coaching was. There seemed to be a real relish for associating oneself with a particular mode at the expense of others. It took me back to my years of martial arts training, where various martial arts would proclaim how they were better than others. I found that my richest learning came when to quote Bruce Lee, I chose to "...be formless, shapeless, like water...". Being 'formless' improves coaching outcomes in two ways: 1. It inspires curiosity about many forms and disciplines - from coaching and beyond, rather than a singular form. 2. It nurtures deep agility and adaptability to coachees' contexts. So, be like water, my friends.

I can agree to a point with being flexible, but not exclusively. Yes, I want feedback, and yes, it's important to consider it. I also clearly lay out in advance of working together what my style is, what it isn't, and what I expect them to contribute. If who they want is a coach that doesn't expect them to do any self reflection or work in between sessions, then I'm not the coach for you.

The ability to adapt and flex is not only a mechanism used to motivate uncoooperative coachees, but for some coaches is the very hallmark of their coaching philosophy. Rather than being hung up on strict frameworks and session agendas, they remain emergent and eclectic in their approach, fully tailoring their responses to the needs of the coachee, whilst not being distracted by his/her own preferences, emotions and biases. This requires experience and know-how from the coach - they will be able to select the right approach, framework, tool, question in the moment. Of course, the coach will nevertheless always keep the larger scope and arc of the overall coaching engagement in mind and move the client forward.

Concuerdo, pero hay que negociar con el coachee en puntos que uno sabe que pueden ser primordiales para el avance. Por ejemplo, si la persona te dice que quiere ir a su propio ritmo y que te avisa cuando va agendar es bueno decirle que mejor dejen todas la sesiones tentativas porque eso ayuda a tener un deadline y le agrega presión a que se ejecuten las tareas.

S'adapter c'est aussi avoir une vision du bon timing pour accompagner la transformation de son client. Il ne s'agit pas uniquement de leurs préférences, besoins ou situations. Très souvent, il est nécessaire de s'adapter à la maturité émotionnelle de son client pour accompagner des transformations durables. Une expérience de Coaching vraiment transformante continue d'avoir des bienfaits bien plus tard que la fin de l'accompagnement. Transmettre les meilleurs outils, astuces pour aider son coaché à repérer dans ses patterns ce qui se joue pour lui est l'assurance de lui faire gagner en clairvoyance, maturité donc efficacité pour ensuite décider la meilleure action pour lui.

Raw self-interest. Human beings will invariably surprise and impress when given the opportunity. But sometimes - as ugly as it might sound - we need to use raw self-interest as the kindle to ignite their higher-integrity and more purpose-driven inner fires. Especially if a coachee is 'assigned' coaching or has gone into it because it's a "free" (company-paid) opportunity, they don't want to pass up; they may not immediately see the direct and tangible benefits or recognise they have the agency to drive the coaching relationship to best serve themselves. ? Explicitly integrate emerging personal, professional and performance advantages into early coaching conversations and see this spark more meaningful motivational ties over time.

Using coaching with someone who is uncooperative may be a misuse of coaching. Generally, coaching should be used with clients who are curious about learning and growing, and who demonstrate some level of leadership potential. If coaching is being used in a punitive way or as a method to exit an employee, the HR team might want to re-think their strategy and use those funds on another employee who demonstrates they are capable of change.

I learned very early in my career that coaching and mentoring is not a one way street and that both sides need to build trust to be successful in the coaching or mentoring journey. Don‘t ask a senior person for support just because it is a senior person. First build a relationship and trust. If you don‘t have a good feeling just don‘t work together. Trust is ??- if you don‘t have it walk away and find somebody else. This is true for both sides. Everyone need to find the right sparing partner to get something out of that relationship.

My gut reaction to this question is that it is infantilizing. Coaching is a partnership, a coach’s job isn’t to motivate or cajole someone into being a partner. That initial response is based on my assumption that we are at the beginning of an engagement and the coachee is contemplating coaching for reasons that are not intrinsically motivated. If the scenario however is that a previously engaged coachee becomes uncooperative, then my responsibility is to name what I am noticing, be curious with the client about the source of this resistance and based on what comes up support the client in consciously choosing how they want to continue…or not. Either way I hold the client as an adult, resourceful enough to be at choice.

Executive development is not a one-time event, but rather a long journey. If an executive is uncooperative or unwilling to grow as a potential successor, it may represent a critical breach in your executive development journey. Every successor should be motivated by their own purpose before nominated as a successor. In the end, a coach cannot be more active than the coachee.