How do you manage your emotions and biases to create healthy Coaching & Mentoring boundaries?

1 Know your triggers

Triggers are events, situations, or words that elicit strong emotional reactions in you, such as anger, frustration, anxiety, or sadness. They may stem from your past experiences, values, beliefs, or expectations. When you are triggered, you may lose your objectivity, empathy, and curiosity, and act impulsively or defensively. To avoid this, you need to identify your triggers and how they affect you. You can do this by reflecting on your feelings and thoughts after a coaching or mentoring session, journaling, or seeking feedback from others. Once you know your triggers, you can prepare yourself to cope with them and avoid projecting them onto your clients or mentees.

2 Practice self-regulation

Self-regulation is the ability to control your emotions and impulses, and to act in accordance with your goals and values. It is essential for creating healthy coaching and mentoring boundaries, as it allows you to maintain your professionalism, respect, and integrity. To practice self-regulation, you need to develop your emotional awareness, which is the ability to recognize and label your emotions accurately. You also need to use strategies to calm yourself down, such as breathing, meditation, or positive affirmations. Additionally, you need to challenge your negative or irrational thoughts, and replace them with more realistic and constructive ones.

3 Seek supervision or peer support

Supervision or peer support is the process of discussing your coaching or mentoring practice with a qualified supervisor or a trusted colleague, who can offer you feedback, guidance, and perspective. It is a valuable way to manage your emotions and biases, as it helps you to gain insight into your strengths and areas for improvement, to address any ethical or professional dilemmas, and to prevent burnout or compassion fatigue. You can seek supervision or peer support on a regular basis, or whenever you face a challenging or complex situation with your clients or mentees.

4 Set clear and consistent boundaries

Boundaries are the limits and rules that define the scope and nature of your coaching or mentoring relationship. They help you to protect your time, energy, and well-being, as well as to respect the autonomy, privacy, and dignity of your clients or mentees. To set clear and consistent boundaries, you need to communicate them explicitly and early in the relationship, and to review them periodically. You also need to uphold them by saying no when necessary, by avoiding over-involvement or dependency, and by referring your clients or mentees to other resources or professionals when appropriate.

5 Cultivate a growth mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that you can improve your abilities and skills through effort and feedback. It is a key factor for managing your emotions and biases, as it enables you to view coaching and mentoring as a learning opportunity, rather than a performance evaluation. With a growth mindset, you can embrace challenges, mistakes, and feedback, and use them to enhance your coaching or mentoring practice. You can also foster a growth mindset in your clients or mentees, by encouraging them to set realistic and achievable goals, to celebrate their progress, and to seek feedback and support.

6 Respect diversity and inclusion

Diversity and inclusion are the recognition and appreciation of the differences and similarities among people, such as their backgrounds, cultures, perspectives, identities, and experiences. They are crucial for creating healthy coaching and mentoring boundaries, as they allow you to build trust, rapport, and understanding with your clients or mentees. To respect diversity and inclusion, you need to be aware of your own cultural and personal biases, and to challenge any stereotypes or assumptions that may hinder your communication or relationship. You also need to be curious and respectful of your clients' or mentees' values, beliefs, and preferences, and to adapt your coaching or mentoring style and approach accordingly.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?