Conflict and feedback are inevitable aspects of engineering management. How you handle them can make a big difference in your team's performance, morale, and satisfaction. In this article, we'll share some tips and best practices to help you manage conflict and feedback effectively and constructively.
Conflict and feedback can arise from various sources, such as different expectations, goals, opinions, personalities, styles, or values. To manage them well, you need to understand where they are coming from and what they are trying to achieve. Try to empathize with the other party, listen actively, and ask open-ended questions. Avoid making assumptions, judgments, or accusations that can escalate the situation.
Before jumping into action, attempt to understand the situation at a holistic level through intentional observation. Document your observations objectively so that when you are ready to address the situation you are coming from a place with data that you collected yourself. This will form a good source of insight when you begin to collect data from others and begin to analyze the situation.
To help resolve any conflict, start by asking high-level questions to understand the different perspectives. Most conflicts arise from communication gaps, so focus on listening actively and taking notes from each party separately. Then, bring everyone together to work on solutions that benefit everyone, not just a few. Track progress over time and learn from the experience to prevent future conflicts.
When dealing with a conflict or feedback, you must consider the context, the stakes, the relationship, and the outcome before selecting an appropriate approach. Collaborating is a win-win solution that satisfies both parties' needs and interests, while compromising is a middle ground that partially satisfies both parties. Accommodating involves sacrificing your own needs and interests to preserve the relationship or harmony. Avoiding or competing are other options; however, avoiding means ignoring or postponing the conflict or feedback to avoid confrontation or stress, and competing entails asserting your own needs and interests at the expense of the other party. Each approach has its advantages and disadvantages.
Communication is essential for managing conflict and feedback. To do so effectively, you should use "I" statements to express your feelings, needs, and perspectives without blaming or criticizing the other person. Additionally, positive and constructive language should be used to focus on solutions rather than problems, and specific and factual examples should be provided to support your points. The feedback sandwich technique can also be employed to deliver feedback by starting with a positive comment, followed by a constructive suggestion, and ending with another positive comment. Finally, active listening skills should be used to demonstrate that you are paying attention, understanding, and acknowledging the other person's message.
Emotional response is rarely the option of choice. Hear each party and filter out the speculation and emotions from their side. Then once you've established your understanding communicate that back to them. A good communicator listens more than they speak.
The ultimate goal of managing conflict and feedback is to resolve the issue and improve the situation, which requires identifying and prioritizing the main points of disagreement or improvement, generating and evaluating possible solutions or actions, agreeing on a mutually acceptable solution or action that meets both parties' needs and interests, implementing and monitoring the solution or action, and following up with feedback on the outcome and process.
Conflict and feedback can be challenging, yet they offer valuable learning opportunities. Reflect on what went well and wrong in the conflict or feedback situation. Identify what you learned about yourself, the other party, and the issue. Acknowledge what you can improve or change in your behavior, attitude, or skills. Apply what you learned to future conflict or feedback situations. As an engineering manager, managing conflict and feedback is a key skill. By following these tips and best practices, you can handle them effectively and constructively, thereby improving your team's performance, morale, and satisfaction.