How do you maintain a positive and respectful relationship with your manager during and after a negotiation?

1 Prepare your case

Before you approach your manager for a salary discussion, do your homework and gather evidence to support your request. Research the market rate for your role, industry, and location, and compare it with your current pay. Highlight your achievements, contributions, and value to the organization, and quantify them with concrete examples and metrics. Prepare a range of acceptable outcomes, from your ideal salary to your minimum acceptable salary, and be ready to justify them.

2 Choose the right time

Timing is crucial when it comes to salary negotiations. You want to avoid asking for a raise when your manager is busy, stressed, or distracted, or when the company is facing financial or operational challenges. Instead, look for opportunities when your manager is in a positive mood, when you have recently delivered a successful project or received positive feedback, or when the company is doing well or expanding. If possible, schedule a meeting in advance and let your manager know the purpose of the discussion.

3 Be respectful and confident

During the negotiation, be respectful and confident in your tone and body language. Express your appreciation for your manager's support and feedback, and acknowledge their perspective and constraints. Avoid ultimatums, threats, or comparisons with other employees, as these can damage your relationship and trust. Instead, focus on your value and goals, and how they align with the company's vision and mission. Use positive and collaborative language, such as "I would like to discuss", "I appreciate", "I understand", and "How can we".

4 Listen and negotiate

One of the most important skills in salary negotiations is listening. Listen carefully to your manager's response, questions, and concerns, and try to understand their point of view. Don't interrupt, argue, or get defensive, but rather ask clarifying questions and show empathy. If your manager agrees to your request, thank them and confirm the details in writing. If your manager rejects or counters your request, don't take it personally or react emotionally. Instead, ask for the reasons behind their decision, and try to negotiate other aspects of your compensation package, such as benefits, bonuses, or flexible work arrangements.