Stories and metaphors are powerful tools for coaching and mentoring. They can help you create rapport, inspire change, and communicate complex ideas in simple and memorable ways. In this article, you will learn how to leverage the power of storytelling and metaphors in your coaching or mentoring sessions.
Stories and metaphors are universal forms of communication that appeal to the emotions, imagination, and intuition of your clients. They can help you build trust, empathy, and understanding by sharing your own experiences or those of others. They can also help you motivate your clients to take action, overcome challenges, and achieve their goals by showing them the possibilities, benefits, and consequences of their choices. Stories and metaphors can also help you explain abstract concepts, models, or frameworks by using concrete examples, analogies, or scenarios that your clients can relate to.
Stories help make abstract ideas relatable. They can be used to introduce new concepts, challenge old ones, and connect disparate ones. Stories and metaphors can help bridge cultural and experiential gaps by tapping into core human emotions and experiences. Stories are powerful and have been a quintessential part of the human experience for as long as we know.
Human beings are storytellers! The oral tradition has been alive and well far longer in human history than the written tradition or certainly our new Epoch of the online tradition. Further, the part of our brain that is emotional has been around far longer than the part of our brain that is cognitive. Human beings relate to and are sympathetic to the experiences of characters in stories far easier than the relate to their own experiences or thoughts of themselves (i.e. in an intellectual way). We are often in denial about ourselves when others clearly can see it. Stories & metaphors are a way to tap that “outsight” & help us see things we may be blind too in ourselves. Once we can see outside ourselves, we can cross the bridge to insight.
The stories and metaphors you use in your coaching or mentoring sessions should be relevant, appropriate, and meaningful for your clients. They should align with their values, needs, and aspirations, and support the objectives and outcomes of the session. They should also be clear, concise, and coherent, and avoid any confusion, ambiguity, or contradiction. To choose the right stories and metaphors, you need to know your clients well, listen to their words and emotions, and observe their behavior and reactions. You also need to be flexible, creative, and adaptable, and adjust your stories and metaphors according to the context, feedback, and results.
Listen, listen, listen! Your client will tell you what you need to hear to help them. It’s not about you as the coach coming to the rescue with the perfect story, metaphor or other disguise for your advice. It’s always about the client- if a metaphor comes up as a way for the client to express or explore something - then go with it. Let the client lead as always. Ask powerful questions so that they add detail and structure and texture to the metaphor. The more real they can make it, the more powerful it will be if/when they connect it back to their own growth experience. To use a metaphor- be the Virgil guiding Dante through the Inferno, not the Machiavelli manipulating the client to your ends.
The way you tell stories and metaphors in your coaching or mentoring sessions can make a big difference in how they are received and understood by your clients. You need to use your voice, body language, and facial expressions to convey the tone, mood, and message of your stories and metaphors. You need to use descriptive language, sensory details, and vivid imagery to engage your clients' senses and emotions. You need to use structure, sequence, and suspense to keep your clients' attention and interest. And you need to use humor, irony, and surprise to add some spice and fun to your stories and metaphors.
Stories and metaphors are not just for telling, but also for asking, exploring, and learning. You can use stories and metaphors in your coaching or mentoring sessions to elicit information, insights, and feedback from your clients. You can ask them to share their own stories or metaphors that illustrate their situation, problem, or goal. You can explore their stories or metaphors to identify their beliefs, values, and assumptions. You can also learn from their stories or metaphors to discover their strengths, resources, and opportunities.
Stories and metaphors are not meant to be the end of the conversation, but the beginning or the bridge. You need to follow up your stories and metaphors in your coaching or mentoring sessions with questions, comments, or actions that help your clients apply them to their own context and reality. You can ask them to reflect on the meaning, implications, or lessons of the stories or metaphors. You can comment on the similarities, differences, or gaps between the stories or metaphors and their own experiences or goals. You can also suggest or invite them to take action based on the stories or metaphors, such as trying something new, experimenting with something different, or making a decision or a plan.
Not only can stories and metaphors be a great communication tool to share ideas and thoughts with clients, but can also foster understanding of company culture for new hires. You, as an onboarding or training expert can share experiences with new staff as they being their journey. Remember everyone, including you, had a first day replete with the excitement of starting a new role! Ease their first day jitters by recalling what your first day was like. Comfort them by telling stories of success, and yes, mishaps along your trail. This will remind them we're all human and it's ok to make mistakes, just own them and learn. Just make certain the stories are coherent and have a point. Don't tell them your company culture, show them!
Not all stories are created equal and while one story may mean something powerful to person A, the same may not be true for person B. In fact, it’s important to be mindful of the history and context a story may take place in as this may shape how stories are perceived by a diverse audience. A triumphant tale for one demographic may have been at the expense of another group. In the US, racial history is a prime example of this multilayered storytelling.