How do you influence and persuade others without being manipulative or coercive?

To persuade others, you need to onboard them. To do this I use something I call the ‘meetings’ before the ‘meeting’. If you have a big upcoming session where you know you will have to convince key stakeholders, even if you come well prepared, natural human behaviour would be to challenge the initiative. By organising individual and informal consultations with all key influential stakeholders, asking for their advice, will raise concerns. By agreeing on solutions for each of their concerns using a technique called the ‘Treatment of Objections’, you naturally get everyone onboard. On ‘D Day’ the formal session turns into a validation of the proposal, more than a challenging debate. As everyone will feel they were part of the process.

Authentic persuasion comes from sharing information and perspective with someone from a place of serving them…. Helping them make an informed decision based on their own best interests. This kind of persuasion builds relationships. Manipulation is based on falsely acting in service of someone while undermining their best interests to further your own. If you serve… you can persuade and also deepen your connection (and humanity).

I agree that knowing your audience and their pain points is key to be able to effectively communicate with them for the best possible outcome. Before I speak to groups and give keynotes, I always take time to understand some of the unique struggles that my audience faces. This guides me towards how I can best support them, which stories and insights will likely resonate the most and how I can provide the most value.

This is similar to a market search before promoting a new product. To deliver our words first we need to know demand of audience based on the data collected by observations.

Another strategy is to frame your message in a way that resonates with the other person's values and interests. By understanding what's important to them, you can tailor your message to appeal to those factors, rather than relying solely on your own perspective. If you're trying to get someone to purchase tickets to a charity fundraiser, for instance, and you know that they care about women's equality, you can emphasize that element in your pitch. For example, your non-profit may be focused on environmental issues, but perhaps climate change has a disproportionate impact on women in a certain area, so helping to fight it will simultaneously empower women.

The best leaders I’ve seen through my years of working have all shown humility and vulnerability. Humility shows that you are still learning and growing, which sets an example for your team. There are two types of people in this world: those who are humble and those who are about to be humbled! Vulnerability signals to your team that it’s OK to be wrong sometimes as long as you learn from it. Voice accountability for your past mistakes and failures. Your team will never trust you if you can’t own up to your own mistakes. By being vulnerable, you also let your team know you have created a safe space for them to be open and honest with you, too.

In my experience in order to lead people effectively you have to make sure you regularly hit their head, their heart and their wallet! Be vulnerable and human, build trust and recognise peoples efforts and surprise them with rewards that they were not even expecting.

Credibility and trust are career-long building efforts. Once integrity is compromised, it can be nearly impossible to claim it again. It's important to be mindful of your words, promises and relationships at every step in your professional journey.

You build trust with others when you are trustworthy. You need to earn it. This means being authentic and real as well as vulnerable, for instance, admitting your mistakes, being accountable for your actions, and demonstrating through your action the behaviors you advocate. People can see through your intentions when your behavior is not consistent with what you say. That is what is meant by consistent, honest and transparent communications.

Building rapport is accomplished by actively listening, showing genuine interest, and demonstrating empathy. I engage in meaningful conversations, ask open-ended questions, and seek common ground. Non-verbal cues, such as maintaining eye contact and mirroring body language, help establish a connection. By fostering trust, respect, and authenticity, I create a foundation for strong and lasting relationships.

I completely agree. In my experience as a faculty member teaching students, I have come to realize the significance of positive language and framing in effective communication and influence. Utilizing positive language not only boosts student motivation but also enhances their self-confidence by highlighting their abilities and potential. It establishes an atmosphere of encouragement and support, empowering students to embrace new challenges and discover their capabilities as well as a safe environment that fosters personal growth and development. It brings similar outcomes whether you apply this in a classroom environment, company culture, or personal relationships.

I find you can really impact someone's mood by being forthcoming and optimistic, for example, when delegating a project: "This is a new challenge that will require some testing and learning to get it right. Because you excel at establishing new systems, this is a moment for you to make a big impact on how we do this moving forward."

A lot of time people assume that persuasion is manipulation. But actually it is about understanding the needs of the person you are speaking to and you can do that by asking open ended questions. Show interest in learning about them, learning about their needs, blockers, and challenges. This ensures when you are trying to persuade them you then speak their language and are addressing their needs or challenges.

When leaders actively listen, they build trust and rapport with their team, understand their needs, and are better equipped to make informed decisions. When leaders listen, they pick up on non-verbal cues from their teams, which can give them far more information about their team's thoughts, allowing them to identify and address issues that may become problematic later on. Leaders who listen foster a more collaborative and trusting environment where open communication, empathy and trust ultimately drive success for their organisation.

Active listening requires you to be 100% present in the dialogue. That is difficult because you need to quiet the "chatter" in your own head and give the person speaking 100% of your attention. It also means that you are listening to learn and understand rather than to solve or respond. When you have genuine curiosity about what someone else is saying, your questions will be more open ended and it will be clear you are in a dialogue.

Active listening demonstrates interest, while giving their voice power ensures their place as a value, rather than a number. Close ended questions doesn't give them the power to free-think as they were given options. It's important to remember that getting other's buy-in requires a relationship build on a mutual beneficial relationship.

I've seen the power of stories in presentations and interactions with my patients. When I list stats, I see people's eyes glaze over. When I tell stories, people are engaged and want to know what happens next!

Stories possess a remarkable ability to deeply resonate with people. They tap into our imagination, emotions, and experiences, enabling us to forge connections and understand ideas more vividly.

Stories and examples are the perfect way to establish connections that have not been explored. While telling stories, the storyteller's verbal and nonverbals will tell the audience everything they need. Getting the audience to have either a similar memory or emotional reaction will build trust and promote the relationship.

I learned the hard way that not everyone receives information in the same way. Some people learn and understand better when you speak to them one-on-one; some like a long, detailed email; others like a short, succinct email with a numbered list. Still others are better when you show or demonstrate. Each situation will be different, but half of communication is making sure the other person has received the message. Evaluate whether the other person understands what you're trying to communicate, and if they don't, switch your tactics and try again to makes sure they do. Or, you can just ask them what they prefer.

For me, this begins with being authentic, listening and most importantly taking action. Consider the different communication styles we all use, writing, verbal, and imagery and try to force yourself to use them all thus ensuring you increase the chance of getting your message across. One key problematic area when working internationally can be the need to adapt your messaging for different cultures. Here I've found that always being polite and using language translation software helps but again it's listening that is most important. I use otter.ai to record meetings and calls and then analyse the text to see if there are indications of when I've been successful at getting my message across and where I've failed.

In my experience, another important part is to know your topic well. Be aware of what you know and what you don't know. Always be on the lookout for the latest news and development in your field. Your audience will respect you more if they know that you are a subject matter expert in the specific field that you are representing.

From my perspective I think it boils down to two factors: Understanding challenges, showing emphathy and objective handling is key. But being integral and honest when you answer builds trust and long standing relationships.

One important factor in building trust is to be transparent and honest about your intentions. If you're upfront about why you want someone to take a certain action or adopt a particular perspective, it's more likely that they'll be receptive to your message. For instance, if you want to meet with someone to ask them to invest in your company, don't pretend it's a social visit and then blindside them with an ask. Instead, be clear from the beginning why you want to meet, so they can opt in or out with the benefit of full information.

Effective communication is needed here. You need to listen to understand what concerns, mis-understandings, etc., the other party may have and then redress these. Possibly using non-technical examples to explain technical issue, if the relevant parties technical understanding, for example, is limited. It is possible that the person raising the challenges may be aware of something you are not aware of. So, again, listening and discussing the situation in question may be beneficial for all party(ies). In certain cases multiple discussions may be required, to obtain a mutual understanding and identify the 'best way forward'.