How do you handle difficult participants?

Two reframes I‘ve found helpful. One: there are no difficult participants; there are participants whose behavior is challenging. That adjustment has been instrumental in creating safer spaces. Second: I need to acknowledge my part in what is going on. And at least to explore it with a bit of open curiosity. The phrases in the article ask us to think about what’s going on with that person, which can put us in a precarious position as facilitators. Yes, it’s always good to be curious and have space for grace for the other person, and also important language to claim, “I wonder what we’ve created here that this behavior is happening and what can we do to shift it?” When in a space together, all of us have a part in what is taking place.

Starting groups and workshops, where possible with a check in that includes any barriers to participation can be helpful in understanding the context behind a difficult participant and what solutions could be most effective.

Hace algunos a?os, dicté un programa de Gestión Emocional, no tuvimos la oportunidad de conocer el perfil de los participantes. En la 1ra sesión, el Jefe de RRHH, me dice, hemos invitado a las personas mas conflictivas de la organización, lo cual me dejó helado, tan solo atiné a preguntar ?Cómo los invitaron a participar?, sus jefes les dijeron que por conflictivos tenían que asistir. Como era de esperar al ingresar los gestos eran: molesto, desganado, agresivo, etc. En ese momento decidí que nada de lo que había llevado para facilitar no servía, y empezamos a dialogar ?Cómo te sientes hoy?, tuvimos una extraordinaria sesión de 4 horas, en la cual la escucha activa fue importante Al finalizar eran "otros", la mayoría se acercó a agradecerme

Active Listening and Empathy: Facilitator: "I sense that you have concerns about this idea. Could you share your thoughts with the group?" It's crucial to demonstrate active listening to a and empathy. Inviting negative individuals to express their concerns shows that their opinions are valued, which can help diffuse their resistance.

Identifying the root cause of difficult behavior in facilitation involves active listening and observation. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues to discern underlying issues. Probe gently during discussions or breaks to understand their concerns or reservations. It could be personal, logistical, or related to the topic. Uncovering the root cause allows for targeted resolution, fostering a more collaborative and productive environment. Remember, empathy and a willingness to address concerns can go a long way in diffusing difficult situations.

As a facilitator, effective communication is crucial. I once led a workshop with diverse perspectives on a sensitive topic. One person seemed resistant, expressing strong emotions. I used active listening, paraphrasing, and open-ended questions to understand and validate their concerns. I avoided judgmental language, instead using positive, inclusive words to create a respectful environment for productive discussions. This approach fostered a fruitful and inclusive workshop experience.

I think 'difficult' is often just a symptom of uncertainty or lack of understanding about the situation, purpose, their own role. This means that empathy is often the way forward,a true understanding of whats going on that is resulting in unconstructive behaviour. There are a bunch of good tools in the facilitator's tool box that may work here, from reframing to role creation. The facilitator can choose which is best for that person, room and project.

I have failed at this more than once. And the reason was me. I failed to self-regulate. So, two rules here: 1. Take every opportunity to build self-awareness. Learn about your triggers and reactions. And find your own way to deal with those. One nice, general, trick is to ask one or two questions, or reframe what is being said. It will give you the 30 seconds you need to cool down. 2. Remember that the same works for others. Let them speak, listen to what is being said, through the whole body. Ask a few questions and reframe. Give them space and time to cool down or think deeper. And maybe have a conversation with the person afterwards, to build rapport and alignment for next time. Some people make it hard. Most people make it fun.

Facilitador é alguém que se torna ponte para que o outro consiga se revelar com mais inteireza e, assim, a maneira como se comunica muda o rumo das conversas. Nessa linha, a escuta qualificada vem como potência para conseguirmos traduzir o que outro procura comunicar, parafraseando e, igualmente olhando para o n?o-dito em palavras, mas traduzido e checado por sentimentos e necessidades. A presen?a e a humildade vem como premissa nesse processo e quando o outro se sente visto, considerado, a conex?o acontece.

Look at what they are activating in me so that I find them 'difficult' what have I assumed? What am I resisting? What am I trying to control? Etc etc etc then I'm more likely to be curious rather than judgmental and their behaviour might settle, also don't be scared of naming the behaviour or dynamic etc, harness the power of the group to keep each other accountable. And a chat one on one with them in a break if possible can help too

In a recent meeting, I used the "container method" to establish a safe and respectful environment. We set ground rules such as "be present" and embrace "child-like curiosity." The "ELMO" acronym helped us navigate stalled conversations. Referring back to the container throughout the meeting, we stayed focused and ensured everyone participated. This approach empowered the team to hold themselves accountable and fostered a collaborative atmosphere.

Ground Rules and Behavior Expectations: Facilitator: "Let's remind ourselves of the agreed-upon ground rules. One of them is to maintain a positive and respectful environment. How can we uphold that?" Set and enforce clear ground rules for behavior in the workshop. By reminding participants of these expectations, you can mitigate negativity.

Um bom facilitador n?o é o facilitador bonzinho. Trazer, como início de conversa, as regras a serem cumpridas carregam respeito pelo coletivo. Tudo diz com a maneira como essa comunica??o é conduzida e importante checar com a turma como chega e, ao mesmo tempo, perguntar se consideram importante alguma inova??o nesse pacote. Isso já vai gerando engajamento, uma vez que os participantes se sentem vistos e considerados. A viola??o das regras, se constituem em fatos, para uma futura conversa, em caso de descumprimento.

I've found Round Robin is important to ensure everyone, including more introverted participants get a chance to share, while also offering non-verbal options for reflection and feedback. Pairing or grouping participants with a mix of motivation, experience and ways of expressing for role plays or small group discussions may help improve participation. Whatever styles are used, I think it's important to always go in with a beginner's mind and seeing each participant as the expert on themselves.

Follow-up and Feedback Loop: Facilitator: "Let's revisit this issue after some time has passed. In the meantime, please gather more information and consider potential solutions." If the negativity persists, agree to revisit the topic later. Encourage the opposing participant to do additional research or provide alternatives.

Como poderíamos traduzir um participante difícil? Aquele que contesta tudo, que demonstra insatisfa??o, que n?o sabe se comunicar, que n?o interage com ninguém? Somos todos seres humanos e repletos de muitas histórias e todas únicas.. E acredito muito, que a curiosidade sobre o outro e com muito respeito, através de perguntas e escuta ativa, v?o trazendo aquele participante para a conversa. é preciso olhar para o invisível, para o que vem atrás das palavras e checar a linguagem n?o-verbal apresentada e sempre de uma forma empática e assertiva.

As a facilitator, I believe there is no such thing as a “difficult participant." Every individual brings their unique perspectives,communication styles, & needs. Rather than labeling them, it's crucial to recognize the barriers they face in fully engaging. This may include communication challenges (language barriers/speech obstacles), which hinder effective expression. Some participants are introverts, while others lack confidence or fear judgment. Personal distractions, cultural differences, past negative experiences, or simply a lack of interest/motivation in the topic can contribute to non-participation. By acknowledging these factors, I try to create a supportive environment to make them feel empowered to contribute in their own way.

I encountered a difficult participant who was disengaged and resistant to participating in activities. Instead of dismissing their behavior, I decided to involve and empower them in the process. I asked open-ended questions to understand their perspective and concerns, actively listened to their responses, and solicited their input during group discussions. By actively involving and empowering the participant, their attitude gradually shifted, and they started actively participating, sharing valuable insights, and taking ownership of their learning. This approach not only improved their engagement but also created a more inclusive and collaborative environment for all attendees.

Encourage active participation by inviting input and diverse viewpoints. Create opportunities for group collaboration, allowing participants to feel heard and valued. Empower them by assigning roles or tasks that align with their strengths. Foster a sense of ownership in decision-making processes, promoting engagement. This inclusive approach not only diffuses tension but also builds a collaborative atmosphere where participants feel empowered to contribute positively, leading to a more productive facilitation experience.

Within every challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow. My mentors taught me when I found a group participant "difficult" to ask "what's this about for me", much like conscious parenting, we shift from blaming and trying to change the other to turning our focus inward towards identifying our unconscious bias, unhealed wounds or unrealistic expectations.

Having worked with mandated clients in the Partner Assault Response (PAR) program for a number of years, the three most important lessons I learned were: 1) It's essential to shift people from external to internal motivation by helping them identify the personal benefits and positive ripple effects of participating 2) Seek to understand before being understood; people naturally become more open if they feel heard and validated. This is different from mean agreeing but does reduce resistance 3) Nothing good comes from power struggles.

As facilitators, we are there to hold space for participants. We cannot create programs that are individualized to everyone, but we can create programs with the space for everyone to have their own individualized experience. When working with people, the first major learning as that people are unpredictable and contain multitudes. We never know what someone may be struggling with or what their experiences might be. Try reframing your goals to include "creating a space for people and show up and have the experience they need to have that day". It may be different the next day.