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Last updated on 2024年8月21日

How do you handle conflicts positively?

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Conflict is inevitable in any human interaction, but it doesn't have to be negative or destructive. In fact, conflict can be an opportunity for learning, growth, and positive change, if you handle it well. In this article, you'll learn some interpersonal skills and communication styles that can help you deal with conflict positively and constructively.

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Diana Tran

Employee Experience Specialist - Canada | NielsenIQ | HR Professional | Eternal Optimistic ?
Hernán Raffo

Consultor técnico en Instituto Nacional de Educación Tecnológica (INET)- Ministerio de Educación Nacional

1 Identify the source and type of conflict

Before you can resolve a conflict, you need to understand what is causing it and what kind of conflict it is. Conflict can arise from different sources, such as values, goals, interests, opinions, needs, or expectations. Conflict can also be classified into different types, such as task, relationship, or process conflict. Identifying the source and type of conflict can help you choose the most appropriate and effective strategy to address it.

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Hernán Raffo

Consultor técnico en Instituto Nacional de Educación Tecnológica (INET)- Ministerio de Educación Nacional
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lo prioritario es identificar la causa del conflicto y a partir de ahi escuchar atentamente para empatizar con la parte involucrada en el conflicto.

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2 Listen actively and empathetically

One of the most important interpersonal skills for handling conflict positively is listening. Listening actively and empathetically means paying attention to what the other person is saying, feeling, and thinking, without interrupting, judging, or imposing your own views. Listening can help you understand the other person's perspective, acknowledge their emotions, and show respect and interest. Listening can also help you avoid misunderstandings, clarify issues, and find common ground.

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Diana Tran

Employee Experience Specialist - Canada | NielsenIQ | HR Professional | Eternal Optimistic ?
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Do not hesitate to ask questions or summarize what you heard to ensure that you truly understood what the other person was saying. This way, not only you show them that you listened to them but you're making sure that you're not misinterpreting the issue.

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Basit Wani

Procurement Engineer @ FERROPAN OILFIELD SERVICES | Mechanical Engineering
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Paying close attention to what someone is saying, not just with our ears but also with our hearts. It involves being fully present in the conversation, trying to understand the speaker's emotions, and showing genuine interest in their words and feelings. By doing so, we can establish a deeper connection with the person, validate their experiences, and create a safe space for them to share their thoughts without judgment. Active and empathetic listening is an essential skill in building meaningful relationships and fostering understanding between individuals.

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3 Express yourself clearly and respectfully

Another key interpersonal skill for handling conflict positively is expressing yourself. Expressing yourself clearly and respectfully means stating your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a way that is honest, direct, and polite. Expressing yourself can help you communicate your point of view, assert your rights, and share your concerns. Expressing yourself can also help you avoid aggression, passive-aggression, or avoidance, which can worsen the conflict.

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Diana Tran

Employee Experience Specialist - Canada | NielsenIQ | HR Professional | Eternal Optimistic ?
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Always express yourself by starting your sentences with "I". The point here is not to blame someone else or a situation. You want the person that you're speaking to to understand how you feel. Also, it's important to explain why you felt this way. It shows that you're in touch with your emotions and that you're not here to seek for problems. Here are a few sentence starters: "I feel/felt that/like..." instead of "You made me feel really bad..." "I didn't like... Because it made me feel this way..." "The way I was seeing things was..."

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4 Adapt your communication style

Different people have different communication styles, which can affect how they handle conflict. Communication styles can be influenced by personality, culture, education, or experience. Some communication styles are more assertive, while others are more cooperative. Some communication styles are more direct, while others are more indirect. Some communication styles are more emotional, while others are more rational. Adapting your communication style means adjusting your tone, language, and body language to suit the situation and the person you are dealing with. Adapting your communication style can help you avoid miscommunication, build rapport, and show flexibility.

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Diana Tran

Employee Experience Specialist - Canada | NielsenIQ | HR Professional | Eternal Optimistic ?
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The first step is to create a safe environment for them to ensure that they will not be judged and lowered for expressing themselves. Some people express themselves more easily than others so it is important to build that trust between you two. Show them that you are here with good intentions and that you want to solve this problem together. No prejudices should be brought upon them after the discussion and it shouldn't change the relationship between you two. One of the main reasons why people don't speak up is because they are afraid of the consequences that will follow if they speak. Make sure that it will not happen in your case.

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5 Seek to understand and solve the problem

The ultimate goal of handling conflict positively is to understand and solve the problem that is causing it. Understanding and solving the problem means identifying the underlying needs and interests of both parties, exploring possible options and alternatives, and finding a mutually acceptable and beneficial solution. Understanding and solving the problem can help you achieve a win-win outcome, enhance trust and cooperation, and prevent future conflicts.

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6 Learn from the experience

The final step of handling conflict positively is to learn from the experience. Learning from the experience means reflecting on what happened, what worked, and what didn't. Learning from the experience also means evaluating the results, giving and receiving feedback, and celebrating the achievements. Learning from the experience can help you improve your interpersonal skills, communication styles, and conflict resolution strategies for the future.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How do you handle conflicts positively?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Identify the source and type of conflict

2 Listen actively and empathetically

3 Express yourself clearly and respectfully

4 Adapt your communication style

5 Seek to understand and solve the problem

6 Learn from the experience

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Skills

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How do you handle conflicts positively?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Identify the source and type of conflict

2 Listen actively and empathetically

3 Express yourself clearly and respectfully

4 Adapt your communication style

5 Seek to understand and solve the problem

6 Learn from the experience

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Skills

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