How do you cultivate common ground with your mentor or mentee in a professional development relationship?

Manage expectations. What are the intended outcomes! Why should the mentor mentor the mentee and why should the mentee choose to be mentored by the mentor? Common ground should be largely limited to desired outcomes and the ability for both parties to deliver on what’s expected of them.

In my experience, building common ground with your mentor or mentee in a professional development relationship is crucial for establishing trust and maximizing the benefits of the mentorship. some strategies that help include things such as sharing goals, establishing common interests, listening, and maintaining boundaries. But the biggest takeaway is being open minded to change and adaptability to the needs of your team.

Communication is key in a mentoring relationship. Not only do you have to identify goals and objectives, you also have to establish expectations. I've had several incredible mentors throughout my life, but the most successful were two of my work mentorships. I sat down with them to establish my goals in that job and also expressed my long-term aspirations and plans. Not only did they end up helping me reach my aforementioned goals, but also help me set and hit a few more milestones (that I hadn't thought of) based on my long-term aspirations. And don't forget, it's not a one-way relationship. A mentorship is a mutually beneficial relationship, so always be thinking about how you can provide value to your mentor. ??

Because mentor sessions should be “heads down” and “all business”, some preliminary “getting to know you” should be done before deciding to dive in. Lots can be gleaned from the others’ LinkedIn profile, podcasts, articles, PR etc too. Too Al often mentor sessions get derailed with non-related small talk, but it’s important to know with whom you’re speaking/working with.

Learning about each other, especially as people, not just professionals, is so important in a mentorship relationship. I've found that, in the best and most successful mentorships I've had, my mentors became my mentors not just in my career, but in my life. But you have to learn about each other first, before any of that. Getting to know my first work mentor was amazing. It was kind of mind-blowing to see how much we had in common. We were both homeschooled, had a "STEM upbringing," and chose to go to non-name brand schools in favor of graduating debt-free. Learning about each other actually established a real relationship between the two of us, other than just me reporting to her.

When serving as a mentor, I like to think of it as giving the mentee a closet full of clothes to borrow until you figure out which pieces feel uniquely right for you. And we all know that just because it looked good on the model, doesn't mean it will have the same effect for you so some pieces might just need to be thrown out. I like to see what the mentee will design with my "old threads" and its a bonus when I learn a new way to pull something together as well. I think it's important to design up front that while you may value each other's advice and opinions, some things you will just have to shake off because it's just not right for you. If you set up the relationship to be authentic upfront, you can play through differences easily.