How do you cope with challenging communication styles?

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Communication is a vital skill for building and maintaining successful client relationships. However, not all clients have the same communication style, preferences, or expectations. Some may be more assertive, passive, or aggressive than others. Some may prefer frequent updates, detailed reports, or informal chats. Some may be more open, respectful, or constructive than others. How do you cope with challenging communication styles and avoid misunderstandings, conflicts, or dissatisfaction? Here are some tips to help you adapt and communicate effectively with different types of clients.

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Matthew Wheaton, RPR

Experienced recruitment professional

1 Identify the communication style

The first step to cope with challenging communication styles is to identify what type of communicator your client is. You can do this by observing their verbal and non-verbal cues, such as tone, body language, word choice, and feedback. There are many frameworks and models to categorize communication styles, such as the DISC, the Myers-Briggs, or the Thomas-Kilmann. However, a simple way to think about it is to consider two dimensions: assertiveness and responsiveness. Assertiveness refers to how direct, confident, and forceful someone is in expressing their opinions and needs. Responsiveness refers to how warm, friendly, and cooperative someone is in relating to others. Based on these dimensions, you can classify your client as one of four types: driver, expressive, analytical, or amiable.

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Matthew Wheaton, RPR

Experienced recruitment professional
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One thing I have found helpful in figuring out the type of communicator I am speaking with is to ask myself a few questions. 1) Does this person seem to value a full explanation of how I arrived at my conclusion or do they just want me to tell them what I think? 2) What information or context can I add to this conversation that would be a value add? Oftentimes, if I can answer those 2 questions and respond accordingly, I see great returns on the investment I put into communicating in THEIR style. One thing that can be a sure fire tell is the length of the meeting and desired outcome. If it's a short meeting with lots of ground to cover, they likely just want to hear outcomes without the added fluff. Remember: Drivers want results.

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2 Adjust your communication style

The second step to cope with challenging communication styles is to adjust your own communication style to match or complement your client's. This does not mean that you have to change your personality or values, but rather that you have to adapt your approach and delivery to suit your client's preferences and expectations. For example, if your client is a driver, they may appreciate concise, factual, and results-oriented communication. If your client is expressive, they may appreciate enthusiastic, creative, and personal communication. If your client is analytical, they may appreciate logical, detailed, and data-driven communication. If your client is amiable, they may appreciate supportive, respectful, and collaborative communication.

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3 Manage potential conflicts

The third step to cope with challenging communication styles is to manage potential conflicts that may arise from differences or misunderstandings. Communication conflicts can damage trust, rapport, and satisfaction, so it is important to address them promptly and constructively. To do this, you should use active listening skills to show empathy, clarify, and confirm understanding. Additionally, use positive and respectful language to avoid blaming or accusing. Open-ended questions can be used to explore the root cause, interests, and needs of both parties. Additionally, assertive communication skills should be used to express your own opinions and needs without being aggressive or passive. Lastly, problem-solving skills can be used to generate and evaluate possible solutions and reach a mutually beneficial agreement.

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Matthew Wheaton, RPR

Experienced recruitment professional
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One thing to keep in mind is that relationships can be built or torn down during conflict. Conflict is almost inevitable, so if you end up in a conflict, make sure to understand the other person's POV. Share your perspective and actively listen and understand theirs, then make an objective based evaluation of the proper path forward. If you are able to come through a conflict with a business leader or colleague it's an opportunity to grow your relationship with them. Make sure you show them that you are willing to stand firm when required and can be flexible when necessary as well.

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4 Seek feedback and improvement

The final step to cope with challenging communication styles is to seek feedback and improvement. Communication is a dynamic and ongoing process that requires constant evaluation and adjustment. You can seek feedback from your client by asking them how they feel about the communication frequency, quality, and effectiveness. You can also seek feedback from yourself by reflecting on what worked well and what could be improved. You can use feedback to identify your strengths and weaknesses, set goals, and implement actions to improve your communication skills and cope with challenging communication styles.

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5 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How do you cope with challenging communication styles?

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1 Identify the communication style

2 Adjust your communication style

3 Manage potential conflicts

4 Seek feedback and improvement

5 Here’s what else to consider

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