How do you coach a resistant coachee?

Building a circle of safety and trust goes a long way to help the coachee open up. Sharing your own vulnerabilities as a coach helps the normalisation of acknowledging and sharing deeper issues.

Active listening and empathizing are the core of understanding root cause. Because if we as coach fail to understand the underlining issue of the coachee we fail to build trust. There are various techniques that can be used for building trust that can be learned in neuro linguistic programming and also knowing what question to ask at what time to elicit a certain response is crucial.

Question is if the client has opted for coaching then why the resistance? Were they forced into it? Did they take it up due to some obligation they feel? If the resistance is due to the coach then the question is; why didn't it come out in the discover/chemistry call? (If that call was done) Only this understanding can give clarity to the way forward for coaching. If it comes up during the session then it needs to be addressed through deeper questioning and exploration of the client's emotional state. Perhaps some underlying emotion has gotten triggered. If the coach holds the space for the client they usually figure what is stopping them. There is nothing to do in a situation like this rather it's about just being present for the client.

I found that realisation of deeper concerns stemming from values and identity is half the battle won. As a coach, let's say that we let the coachee take the lead in setting SMART goals instead of involving them, which sounds like inviting them at their own party.

1 thing most of time in setting goal is what exactly the plan to achieve that goal. Clarity in creating a step by step weekly, monthly and quarterly action plan resolves most of the issue as coachee begin to get momentum by taking actions. This also reinforce the belief and value system that, goal are achievable and they start to gain confidence.

This is a tricky one as by providing feedback and encouragement, you may end up changing your coaching hat for a mentor's. It can be done provided clear boundaries are set. As a coach, the same can be achieved by getting the coachee to have an accountability partner or a mentor.

Providing guidance may be a simple out sometimes when a coach finds it difficult to hold the space. If one is mixing other styles like mentoring or training, do ensure that they are not done at the same time.

This is crucial. 1 thing that I see in coaching is review not done right. It's important to have some sort of set KPI for coach and coachee. Most the time impact is intangible, it becomes difficult to track. Therefore, having tangible and proper KPI in place goes a long way in getting things on track, improve and evolve in coaching perspective for both parties

Setting expectations at the beginning, or a pre-session helps the coachee to have the right discussion. Many, who have not experienced it before may come expecting quick answers and may not be ready for deeper reflections or introspection.