How can you use open-ended questions to listen with curiosity?

As a lawyer, I have found open ended questions to build trust with colleagues and clients. Taking time to discuss the background to a question or the goals and priorities for a negotiation can enable a lawyer to provide more business friendly and useful advice (be part of the solution!). "What are your goals?" "How short/long is your timeline?"

I teach a Journalism course for undergraduate students at Villanova University, and we spend a great deal of time discussing the importance of asking quality open-ended questions that foster conversation. Listening attentively and following up appropriately -- curiously, with the audience's needs and questions in mind -- is key.

I was a trainer for a major bank for over 7 years and continue to utilize public speaking in my current position as well. Something that I would always stress to anyone that I had in a class was the importance of open ended questions in everyday life. Get beyond just using it as a sales tool but use it with your significant other, use it with a friend, use it when you first meet someone. There is something magical about asking a solid thought provoking open ended question and then just sitting back and letting that person share with you. It really helps with being a successful active listener.

Open-ended questions provide people with a platform to gain self-confidence and the ability to focus on their message. Responding with more than a yes-no means that individuals have to engage their creativity and thought processes to form an answer that honours the question.

Asking open-ended questions not only allows you to delve into further details in order to seek out a solution, but it will also build strong rapport with your network or target clientele which goes a long way. Remember often in sales, processes and projects, it's the long term vision rather than 'transactional!'

Open-ended questions are important because they allow for more detailed and expansive answers, which can provide greater insights and understanding than closed-ended questions. Open-ended questions encourage people to share their thoughts, opinions, and experiences in their own words, rather than just providing a yes or no answer. This allows for a more nuanced and holistic understanding of a situation or topic. Open-ended questions are also helpful in facilitating conversation and encouraging people to feel comfortable sharing their ideas and perspectives. Overall, open-ended questions are a valuable tool for promoting dialogue, deepening understanding, and gathering diverse perspectives.

Open-ended questions give you time to listen more and talk less. Listening is one of the most valuable skills a leader can have. By asking those open-ended questions you can lead the conversation where you want it to go, and also gain more insight to the person you are communicating with. One of my favorite questions to ask when talking with a client is "What part of your current job responsibilities keep you up at night?" I gain a lot of insight to the challenges my client is facing and usually can solve some of those issues for them, building a trusting, long lasting relationship!

You can start your questions with words such as “what”, “how”, “why”, “tell me about “, “ describe to me…”. Use open-ended questions after asking closed-ended questions or while actively engaging with your audience in order to gain more insight about a person’s needs, habits, etc. For example: “Describe to me what steps do you follow when working on a difficult project. “

When responding to open-ended questions, it's important to provide a detailed and thoughtful answer that addresses the main points of the question. Here are some tips for responding to open-ended questions: Take a moment to gather your thoughts before responding to the question. This will help you organize your answer and provide a more complete response. Listen carefully to the question being asked to ensure that you understand the intent of the question. Provide a detailed answer that addresses the main points of the question. Use specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate your points. Be honest and transparent in your response. Don't be afraid to share your opinion or perspective, but do so in a respectful and thoughtful manner.

When I am talking with someone I want to be present and give them my full attention. This is my time with them and I want to be able to be engaged and open to what they have to say and how I can assist them. You have to listen and not only listen but listen with an open mind, give the person time to talk and give yourself time to digest the information before responding. It is always ok to say, "I don't know, but I will find out for you and get back with you." We don't always have all the answers, but we might be able to find them. Give the person a timeline you will follow up and ensure you follow up.

Often times our own arrogance or experience can get in the way of true curiosity because we assume we already know how the other person is going to respond to our question. Even if you are not genuinely curious, pretend to be and you might actually find you truly are interested in the story you are hearing. Forced curiosity can lead to genuine curiosity.

One of the easiest ways to practice listening with curiosity is to get rid of whatever distractions you have (i.e. put your phone/computer away). Another helpful tool is to have a notebook or something to write down your thoughts as you are listening to that person. Be sure to let that person know that you will be writing notes to refer back to and that you are actually listening to them. This will prevent you from wanting to interrupt when you have a question or thought and will actually allow you to be in the moment with that person. It's also okay to ask the person that you are listening to, to pause for a moment and then ask if it's okay to ask a question about what they said. Meditation can also help you hone these skills!