How can you use interests to resolve conflicts?

2 Listen to understand their interests

The next step is to listen actively and empathically to the other party or parties and try to understand their interests. This means suspending your judgment, assumptions, and emotions, and paying attention to what they say and how they say it. You can use open-ended questions, paraphrasing, and summarizing to elicit and confirm their interests. You can also acknowledge their feelings and perspectives, even if you do not agree with them. By listening to understand their interests, you can build trust, rapport, and respect, as well as identify the common or compatible interests that can serve as a basis for agreement.

3 Generate options that satisfy interests

Once you have identified and understood the interests of all parties, you can start generating options that satisfy those interests. This means brainstorming creatively and collaboratively, without evaluating or criticizing any idea at this stage. You can use techniques such as expanding the pie, bridging, logrolling, or cutting the costs to create options that address the most important interests of each party. You can also use criteria such as fairness, efficiency, feasibility, or legality to filter and prioritize the options. By generating options that satisfy interests, you can increase the chances of finding a mutually beneficial solution.

5 Review and monitor the agreement

After you have reached an agreement that satisfies the interests of all parties, you need to review and monitor the agreement. This means clarifying the terms, expectations, and responsibilities of each party, as well as setting a timeline and a mechanism for evaluation and feedback. You can also express appreciation, recognition, and commitment to the other party or parties, as well as celebrate the achievement. By reviewing and monitoring the agreement, you can ensure its implementation and sustainability, as well as prevent or resolve any potential conflicts that may arise in the future.

6 Learn and improve your skills

The last but not least thing you can do is to learn and improve your skills in using interests to resolve conflicts. This means reflecting on your experience, identifying what worked well and what could be improved, and seeking feedback from others. You can also seek opportunities to practice and apply your skills in different situations and contexts, as well as learn from other sources such as books, courses, or mentors. By learning and improving your skills, you can become more confident, competent, and effective in resolving conflicts constructively and positively.