How can you use influence and persuasion to gain support from key players?

Beyond traditional stakeholders, identify and engage with influencers within and outside your organization. Influencers can shape opinions and decisions, so building relationships with them can amplify your message and foster support.

The opinions and influences of internal stakeholders are of paramount importance. However, conducting due diligence and arriving at your own opinions, rather than yielding to the highest-titled individuals or loudest voices in the room has never been more important. Given the speed with which markets change, new products/services emerge, and influencers on buying decisions expand, the recency of data collection and conversations conducted with prospective buyers is critical. After all, they're the ones being asked to invest in your solutions. Their opinions matter most. Companies and senior executives cannot afford to base opinions on outdated information and a marketplace that's changed. Yet too often, that's exactly what happens.

These are good suggestions for becoming more influential and persuasive. As a follower and certified trainer, I was trained by Robert Cialdini almost 20 years ago. Understanding the 7 Principles of Persuasion and developing strategies to apply them ethically is an essential skill to be persuasive. I have applied these principles as a mediator to resolve high conflict disputes with great success. I recommend that anyone interested in becoming more influential, study the Cialdini scientific principles of perssuasion and learn how to apply them in each situation.

Follow the wisdom of the great "Ted Lasso" and be Curious, not Judgmental. When you start with curiosity, you will learn more about others, what is essential for them, and meet them where they are so that you can spend time with the right players at the right time.

To identify your key players, utilize these strategies: ? Assess the stakeholders involved in your projects. They may include individuals or groups who directly influence or are impacted by your work. Consider their positions, roles, and levels of authority. ? Gather as much information as you can about these individuals or groups. Analyze their interests, motivations, and potential conflicts of interest. Look for any connections they may have with other influential parties within your industry or organization. ? Engage in open and honest communication with them. Listen to their perspectives and understand their needs and expectations, these will help you gain valuable insights and build stronger and trusted relationships with them

To foster trust and influence, clear and consistent communication is essential. Surprisingly, 50% of employees are uncertain about their company’s goals and expectations. George Bernard Shaw aptly noted, "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place". Trust thrives on understanding and connection,. Thus, establishing personal relationships is crucial for fostering a safe team environment. Leadership can play a pivotal role by openly acknowledging mistakes, embracing transparency, and demonstrating vulnerability. These actions gift team members the confidence they need to voice their opinions and feel genuinely heard.

Weave compelling stories into your communication. Narratives are memorable and relatable, helping you connect with key players on a personal level and make them more persuasive.

One of the most effective way is to visualizing problem area and propose effective solutions to it. This should be carefully placed with suggestive nature. Showing a false sense of ownership by being highly energetic and not listening to your stakeholder can backfire. Remember, we are here to enable and be an effective team player with our stakeholder. Sometime even high energetic proactivity could back fire, if it's expressed without the understanding of the environment.

Building trust and rapport involves open communication and expressing clear intentions and expectations. Taking the time to genuinely show interest and empathy help you understand your key players' perspectives and challenges. Delivering on commitments by consistently following through on promises, providing quality work, and meeting deadlines establishes reliability and trustworthiness on your part. Be reliable, responsive, and available in all interactions. Seeking collaboration, valuing input and promptly resolving conflicts is very crucial and promotes positive and trusting relationship. Lastly, celebrating successes by acknowledging and appreciating the contributions and achievements of key players strengthens the partnership

The quickest way I've found to build trust is always to be vulnerable, humble, and curious. Focus on being yourself, your true self. Then, through preparation, you must find ways to develop commonality with who you're talking to, which then leads to rapport. Finding something in common will allow for stories to be shared, which is human connection.

Always ensure that your emotional appeals and persuasive techniques are ethical. Maintain transparency and integrity in your communication.

Appeal to logic, by providing clear and rational arguments supported by evidences. Present logical reasoning, highlight the benefits, and demonstrate how your ideas or proposals align with objective facts or logical principles. Appeal to reason by focusing on logical consistency and sound decision-making processes. To appeal to emotions, consider the values, aspirations, and desires of your key players. Craft persuasive messages that evoke positive emotions such as happiness, joy, or hope. Use storytelling techniques to create relatable and emotionally compelling narratives. Appeal to empathy by showing understanding and compassion for the emotions and feelings of others. Strike a balance between logic and emotions in your communication.

Convincing individuals with opposing views to convert to the other’s position can be challenging. Our egos trap us in the belief that we're entirely right, dismissing any merit in the other side's stance. But what if the other side is, at the very least, 10% right? That would require us to get deeply curious about their position. Shirzad Chamine, the author of "Positive Intelligence”, introduces an invaluable approach. It’s a structured process where one party presents an idea, and the next participant responds with, "What I like about that idea is," highlighting positive aspects before expanding on it or introducing a new idea. This method fosters a collaborative, creative atmosphere that encourages participants to find common ground.

Your emotions and logic must align with the core values of the team. Before I persuade or influence, I remind myself that I Believe what I do matters and that anything I say or request of others centers around the word "believe," as I know that it will help bring positivity to the organization. If you find yourself trying to convince others, they will always resist you. Instead, you can rely on your curiosity to learn more about how to help see someone's point of view or have others see your point of view.

Always serve others without keeping score. I call this the "boomerang mindset." I've found that when you focus on helping others, the boomerang will always come back. The gold is to go out of your way to serve others when they most likely would never expect it.

One thing I've found interesting is the strategic use of reciprocity in gaining support from key players. Offering value or assistance creates a positive exchange that often leads to a willingness to reciprocate, making it a potent tool to foster collaboration and support.

Reciprocity is a psychological principle that involves offering something of value without expecting an immediate return, potentially leading to a sense of obligation in others. This can foster cooperation and goodwill. Social proof harnesses the influence of the crowd, as people are more likely to adopt beliefs or behaviors if they see others doing the same. Showcasing examples or testimonials from key players who have supported your ideas or initiatives can inspire confidence and encourage alignment. The merits of using reciprocity and social proof include building trust, influencing behavior, strengthening relationships, and gaining support. It's important to approach these techniques with authenticity and ethical considerations.

In addition to reciprocity and social proof, there are 6 more principles to learn and apply ethically, including authority, scarcity, commitment and consistency, liking, and unity. All based on scientific studies synthesized by Dr. Cialdini as described in his books on persuasion.

When negotiating or comprising, I always focus on one of the best pieces of advice someone shared with me. He said, "Would you rather be right? Or, get what you want?" You rarely get both, he said. That mantra has helped me in many ways in my 25-year corporate career.

In essence, negotiation involves the communication and exploration of interests with the goal of reaching a mutually satisfactory common ground or agreement. Compromise, on the other hand, refers to the willingness of each party to make concessions or find middle ground in order to reach a resolution. It involves finding mutually acceptable solutions that may require giving up certain demands or adjusting expectations. Negotiation and compromise are vital tools when dealing with key players. They help resolve conflicts, build relationships, maximize outcomes, foster long-term partnerships, and promote adaptability. These practices enable productive collaboration and navigate complex situations for mutual success.

In the nuanced dance of influence and persuasion, think less chess grandmaster playing chess games with your mind and more salsa enthusiast figuring out a rhythm with a dance partner. Your authenticity is your dance beat - the better you sync up, the smoother the moves. It's not a battlefield; it's a symphony. Influence isn't about overpowering; it's about composing a harmonious tune. So, be true, be purposeful, and watch your influence groove into a win-win scenario for both people.

Players that you find sympathetic are easy. Put effort into taking the stance of stakeholders you dislike and make their positions your own. Start identifying argumentation lines that appeal to the state that these people live in everyday. Resistance often origins in being overloaded with other priorities, not general disagreement.

In my experience, gaining support from key players really boils down to a few personal tactics. First, I always try to genuinely understand where they're coming from - what drives and concerns them. This helps me tailor my approach, ensuring my proposal aligns with their interests or goals. I've found that building a rapport is crucial; it's easier to persuade someone who trusts and respects you. My conversations are usually a mix of clear, straightforward points and a bit of storytelling to make the idea stick. I also listen a lot. It's not just about my pitch; it's about understanding their feedback and responding thoughtfully. And, of course, being seen as someone who knows their stuff and delivers consistently has been a huge plus.