How can you use Emotional Intelligence to manage feedback from multiple sources?

I like to use the Serenity Prayer, as a definition of Emotional Intelligence. It's having the ability and understanding "to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to reflect, regulate emotions, and then respond. The key is in reflection before reaction and then responding and not reacting. Emotional intelligence is the ability to redirect from the Emotional Brain—The Amygdala to the Logical Brain—The Neocortex.

Inteligência Emocional (IE) é a habilidade de compreender e gerenciar emo??es próprias e alheias, envolvendo autoconhecimento, autorregula??o, consciência social e gest?o de relacionamentos. Essa capacidade facilita a comunica??o, colabora??o, resolu??o de conflitos e enfrentamento de desafios, além de contribuir para um feedback construtivo.

Imagine your IQ - your cognitive intelligence - is your elevator in life. Your EQ - the emotional quotient is the ingredient that measures your emotional intelligence and fuels your way up or down with the elevator. IQ is all about long term thinking, strategic thinking and critical thinking skills. EQ is about dealing with our immediate challenges, understanding how our emotions shape our world view, our view of others and our view of ourselves. It forms a foundational basis for relating to others and building relationships.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) involves being aware of your own emotions, and understanding the emotions of others, and how effectively one can manage both. When receiving feedback, acknowledge the impact on your emotions and behaviors, and avoid impulsive reactions. Practice empathy by considering feedback providers' intentions and perspectives. Embrace feedback as an opportunity for personal and professional growth, while maintaining a positive outlook. Express gratitude to foster open communication and be adaptable to change for continuous improvement.

Feedback is crucial because it provides valuable insights, helps identify areas for improvement, fosters growth, and enhances communication, whether in personal development, work, or relationships.

This is why feedback is the most effective self-development tool. It's the only way to see what's in your blindspots and reveals the things that are holding you back in your life and leadership.

This is a tricky one if lack of emotional intelligence is applied. What do I mean by that? Imagine you are working for a manager or someone who is rating your performance. They are highly intellectual because of the nature of their work. Now you just received feedback that triggers quite some negative emotions, feels insensitive and impersonal. Perhaps the intent was not as such, but that's how you feel. How you feel shapes how you now show up in your work and what you are willing to do or not to do. That's why teaching emotional intelligence skills as part of having uncomfortable conversations is crucial. Because when we receive feedback that is positive, we feel good but perhaps we don't learn anything and we don't grow.

A IE promove a capacidade de reconhecer e gerenciar emo??es de maneira madura contribui para tomadas de decis?o mais equilibradas e para a resolu??o construtiva de conflitos, tornando o ambiente de trabalho mais saudável, criando rela??es de confian?a, e viabilizando um ambiente saudável para se praticar feedback. Feedbacks construtivos, transparentes e bem estruturados, d?o a oportunidade ao outro de se desenvolver, de ter um melhor alinhamento com a cultura e princípios da empresa, uma compreens?o clara do que fazer para atingir seu crescimento profissional e pessoal. é o que chamamos de alinhamento de rota.

The truth is always backed up by indisputable evidence. Humans are predisposed to feeling certain ways, largely because their perspectives are informed by their upbringing, environment, positive and negative experiences, beliefs, education, and personal identity. Self-awareness is important here because the more you understand how those factors influence your thoughts, decisions and actions, the easier it is to pinpoint where your feelings are coming from. When you receive feedback, you're able to process your feelings, separate them from the facts and consider the facts of the situation objectively. When you have clarity over the situation, you can use your value system to assess and make decisions for your growth effectively.

Feedback is data. It’s not attached to your worth and sense of self. To cope with feedback you must untangle your identity from your Outcomes. Your being must be decoupled from your doing.

Feedback IS NOT personal. Understand that feedback is neutral, it's simply information. It's not good or bad. See feedback as an opportunity for growth.

I would apply the ABCDE technique from the late Dr Albert Ellis. A- Activating event = What specifically triggered you? B - Beliefs = What beliefs did you produce in your mind? C- Consequences= What consequences did it have? D - Debate, Dispute and Discard = Apply fact checking techniques with your own thoughts. E - Effects - What effects did it have on how you feel now? When we feel emotion, we often produce a distorted view of the situation or feedback. Feeling our feelings so we can move from stress response to neutral response, will create more clarity on the feedback received without internalizing with our self-worth. This is where emotional disassociation techniques come in.

Para utilizar la retroalimentación de manera efectiva, comienza con la apertura mental para recibirla. Escucha activamente, busca comprender y evita respuestas defensivas. Analiza la retroalimentación de manera objetiva, identificando patrones y áreas de mejora. Agradece los aspectos positivos y formula preguntas para clarificar puntos específicos. Establece metas alcanzables basadas en la retroalimentación y trabaja en un plan de acción. La retroalimentación efectiva es una herramienta de crecimiento, aprovechándola con humildad y enfoque constructivo, contribuye al desarrollo personal y profesional.

Receiving effective feedback is crucial for personal and professional growth. Emotional intelligence is key in active listening, seeking clarification, and aligning feedback with personal goals. Soft skills, like empathy and effective communication, strengthen the relationship between the evaluated and the feedback provider. Incorporating Marshall Goldsmith's "feedforward" fosters continuous development. Embracing feedback as a constructive tool, combining emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills, is essential for sustainable development.

I would use the ABCDE framework or any technique that helps you emotionally disassociate, use reason when emotions are diffused and then decide what you will take on and what is not applicable. Another rule of thumb, if one or two people give you the same feedback, it does not mean you need to do something about it. If it is more than three people, than probably it is time to apply some introspection work. Always be compassionate with yourself, and not judgmental. Because judging creates more negative emotions, more stress and less energy. Compassion creates more empathy, nurturing emotions and more energy to build better habits or to choose differently and grow.

The most common pitfall for feedback is making it personal. If there are high emotional triggers present during feedback, there is potential for breakdown. When giving feedback make sure you and the other person are calm and neutral in their emotions.

If you remember one thing, it is to reflect and journal. Mistakes are part of life, they form our experience. When we learn from our experience and we overcome the emotions of our experience, the experience turns into wisdom. The other thing it is important to learn to feel your feelings without dwelling on them. I forget this too at times and the other day my son dropped the mic on me: "Mom, it is ok to feel sad and cry, but sometimes you dwell on them too long. It does not serve, just makes you more tired." He was right, we also need to learn to move from helplessness to learned optimism. Another great book from Martin Seligman!

La Inteligencia Emocional (IE) facilita la gestión del feedback de múltiples fuentes de manera efectiva. Desarrolla la empatía para comprender las emociones detrás de los comentarios. La autorregulación permite manejar respuestas emocionales, evitando reacciones impulsivas. La conciencia emocional ayuda a identificar patrones y áreas de mejora sin dejarse llevar por la crítica. Utiliza la habilidad social para comunicarte con empatía y construir relaciones positivas, promoviendo un ambiente colaborativo. Integrar la IE en la gestión del feedback no solo mejora la comprensión, sino que también impulsa el crecimiento personal y profesional.