How can you use EI to handle difficult conversations?

It is important to also note that preparing yourself does not mean you won't encounter unexpected realities that may sweep you off your reasoning or experience feet. This is where your maturity in connecting with the other person and being present come in handy.

In my experience, entering conversations with items we can easily agree on, creates an opportunity to feel like we are in this together. Additionally, taking time to commend the other party’s work with a genuine compliment or a respectful acknowledgement, helps the other person feel seen and valued. These two steps- especially when direct and honest- can accelerate the speed of trust by setting the tone for a supportive relationship building opportunity.

Difficult conversations are all about messaging, positioning, and connecting. A former colleague of mine used to say, "People just don't like that I tell the truth and say what's on my mind." I had to tell him he was wrong. Everyone wants to hear the truth—just not in a way that doesn't meet us where we are. Think about how you feel, what you want to say, and how you want to say it. Then think about how the other person probably feels, how they'll react to the information, and how they'll react to how you deliver that information. 50% happens before you have the talk. 30% when you're together (body language). 20% when you're actually talking.

One thing I always keep in mind before going into a difficult conversation, is to put myself in the other part's position and try to see things from his/her perspective, and what are the questions that he might ask or what will be his concerns or challenges that he will have, and prepare an answer in advance for these questions/concerns.

The first step, I believe is mindfulness. It becomes extremely important to be aware of your feelings, especially at the time when some one provokes you or says something unkind or doesn't meet your expectations. Therefore, once you aware of your feelings, you can identify your trigger points and then work on these. This will help change your response. Eventually, with consistent practice - you would be able to overcome the habit of reacting and learn to respond.

A few things I’ve found helpful is to remember that natural conversations are two sided and emotional. Owning your feelings and remembering no one can make you feel a certain way is important. When conversations get heated or emotional, that can serve as fuel for new and creative thoughts as the conversation unfolds. No one is hurt and all leave the conversation feeling invigorated.

Timing, intention, and clear communication is key. Set a time and place with intention. Make sure that the conversation is not blindsiding anyone participating. Once, management set a meeting with my team to discuss business strategies, and when in the meeting abruptly changed course to have a "difficult conversation". Only management was prepared. It did not end well and eroded confidence and morale. To have an open and honest conversation both parties need to have a safe space to be heard, and to come prepared with items that they want to discuss. Also if possible, an impartial meeting facilitator/ HR personnel would be an asset to make sure communication remains constructive and on point.

In my experience, both setting and timing play a huge role in the outcome of difficult conversations. If I approach a tough conversation with someone in the heat of the moment or in front of others, it might be perceived as a verbal attack or attempt at embarrassment. However the same conversation, if handled respectfully and confidentially, can help demonstrate that my intentions are to reach common ground and understanding.

I know from my own shortfalls I cant approach these meetings tired! I bring little ego to these types of meetings, but my ability to listen and absorb content varies through the peeks and troughs of the day. Discuss the best time for those involved and highlight the reason why this is important to get a good mutual time and setting. Communication is key in my eyes. I respect passion and manners. Both need to go hand in hand with egos being parked, but if you truly feel your corner needs fought for then do so. Honest conversation with the other person and one with yourself before hand is important as is what happens after the meeting. Recap: Follow up and clear next step and timeliness and agreement on these. We both want positive outcomes.

EI is essential for handling challenging talks with grace and empathy. You can use EI to manage such situations through practising Self Awareness, Self-regulation, Empathy, Social skills and Managing the importance of your relationships over the issue. Remember that what you say, how you say it, and your emotional tone matter.

I believe it is very important to listen someone's perspective on any discussions. Sometimes You will get useful thought from other's which we miss. This kind of situation will change the decisions to a right path. Also interrupting in a conversation with others will demotivate them. It is good to avoid such scenarios.

Apart from the emotions of myself being amused/curious/surprised about AI talking about EI, the crux here is listening truly, as it shows you're invested in the other person or situation. For eg. in difficult conversations - amidst problem solving, dealing with upset clients, or upset family members - there's immense cues to be picked up when you LISTEN to their words. Bonus if you can see their expressions.The art of listening is empathising at the right time, keeping it REAL (no one wants fake empathy). Eye contact fuels sincerity, comforting words are calming, making needed commitments progress the resolution process. Not expressing/showing disapproval shows objectivity and balance. Listening is Understanding. All else is white noise.

Also, consider the power of empathy. Beyond just actively listening, try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand their perspective on a deeper level. Showing empathy is not only comprehending someone's words and emotions but also recognising the context, experiences, and beliefs that shape their viewpoint. By embracing empathy, you create a more profound connection and demonstrate a genuine interest in understanding the person rather than just hearing their words. This contributes to stronger EI, as it goes beyond the surface level of communication and engages with the underlying emotions and motivations of the individual.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand their feelings and viewpoints. Active listening, asking open-ended questions, and using reflective listening techniques can help you empathize with their position.

A good key is to wait the person finish the sentences. Be aware of your own anxiety and don’t interrupt. In this way, you’ll pay more attention to the subject and you will demonstrate that you are actively listening in order to understand and not just to answer/defend yourself.

I always speak from my heart without any filters, still keeping in mind what if i am into another person's shoe, than words get modified automatically before it came out, Smile speaks - always smile speaks between the words, so smile when you talk.

Always speak from your experience and from the truth. If you're using an anecdote, make sure it stays an anecdote and you don't turn it into a bigger truth. "For example, I heard from one person..." is not the same as "Here's the truth..." If all you have is anecdotal information, then say up front, "All I have is anecdotal information to share, so take that for what it's worth." Don't generalize your experience or mis-apply it to the other person's life. If this is a professional conversation and you're the boss, you can use your authority and speak to mutually- or broadly-understood expectations. Just don't use your authority against the other person. It can't hurt to get assistance or backup from someone else the other person trusts.

Another item that I have learned in my experience is using "we". I have found the when it feels as if you are moving towards the same goal and acknowledge that each party can change or give a little, it becomes a team effort in success not a finger-pointing exercise.

Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledge and appreciate positive behavior and constructive contributions from the other party. Positivity can defuse tension and encourage more cooperative behavior.

Remember not to generalize and impose your experiences on the other person. While one thing is important to someone, need not be important to everyone or anyone else. Clarity in communication involves using precise language, avoiding jargon, and organizing your thoughts logically. Constructive communication involves expressing yourself in a way that considers & respects the feelings and perspectives of others. It means avoiding accusatory language, personal attacks, and dismissive remarks. Identifying your purpose helps you focus your message and tailor your approach accordingly. Effective communication serves a clear purpose, whether it's to provide information, resolve a conflict, or build rapport.

The whole purpose of any conversation is to seek solution and find the path forward, so always keep this in mind in your discussion, and avoid falling into emotional or personal traps with the other party.

The most important thing is the outcome. Work toward an outcome, not toward being right or proving the other person wrong. Outcomes are so important and so easy to miss. Yes, seek feedback, find common ground, agree on actions, etc. But make sure the outcome is something you both can agree to. Manage the conversation and steer it to the outcome. Don't get distracted by nitpicking or minor details. It doesn't always matter who's right. It matters what happens after the conversation.

Own your part in any “conflict” and present a way to resolve your part, but also allow the other person the time to acknowledge their part and present their own solution. Even if this means you take a bigger chunk of responsibility than you want to, this will go a long way down the road. I used to have a manager who said they always had time for anyone who came with solutions over problems. This seems obvious, but when we think about the solution instead of the “cause”, it can go a long way.

Solutions can be found with acceptance. Resistance to accepting and owning up can only heat up the conversation. Have a purpose/ outcome. And don't concentrate on what is wrong or right. There is nothing wrong or right or good or bad, but only feedback. Pay attention to your self talk and try to analyze that. Practice positive self talk. Get different perspectives which will help you get a neutral solution. Reflect on how you have overcome challenges in the past and apply those same strategies to new problems.

It can be helpful to clarify what you have agreed together and document it so you both have a copy, for example, sending a copy in an email afterwards. Any solutions should be open to feedback and revision so have a plan in place to see how the solution is working in the near future. A manager for example may put in a weekly catch up to discuss the support and make any necessary changes. As a manager or leader, asking for feedback is essential to improve conversation skills. It can also be helpful to complete some self reflection of what worked well and what could've gone better and have this to hand before your next conversation.

Difficult Conversation should not necessarily be a debate. It can also become a honest conversation. 1. Set time and date before hand.Try to look out for informal setup to bring this discussion up. This will genuinely lead this discussion to a conversation. 2. Prepare yourself with all facts on why you feel this conversation is required. 3. Listen carefully and hear out patiently. Don't judge 4. Be completely honest and factual in your expressions. 5. Mutually agree on the way forward to get things back in order.

Difficult conversations allow room for growth for both parties. It is imperative to go in open minded, once you have had time to remove the emotion from your stance. Of course, most decisions and conversations we have are emotion based BUT how can you take time prior to the conversation to reflect on your own feelings & emotions in order to go into the conversation seeing things from a bigger perspective? 9 times out of 10, it will lead to easier resolution where both parties feel heard, respected, and at peace with the end result.

The only other thing I would add is the follow up. What did you agree to? What did they? Send a follow-up recap and a scheduled deadline, follow-up or action plan. This is where SMART goals can help for the next steps.

Difficult conversations are easy - if you've communicate early, and often before the point of the critical moment. Example - you no longer want to remain in a relationships with someone: "We agreed to communicate early with each other, and you promised to work on your need for control, acknowledging that if it continues, we would go separate ways as it's hurting us. And now we are here again, and I therefore choose to go a separate way." If you have had healthy communication up to that point, it's clear to both of you why this decision is made.

Empathy: Practice active listening and try to understand the other person's perspective. Acknowledge their feelings and concerns. Empathy helps in creating a more open dialogue and can de-escalate tensions.