How can you use active listening to resolve conflicts at work?

Here’s a brief summary to help identify the problem 1. Gather information: Collect relevant data and insights about the situation. 2. Define the problem: Clearly articulate the specific issue or challenge at hand. 3. Analyze the root cause: Dig deeper to understand the underlying reasons for the problem. 4. Prioritize and set goals: Assess the importance and urgency of the problem, and establish clear objectives. 5. Seek input and collaboration: Involve stakeholders and team members to gain diverse perspectives and input. 6. Generate possible solutions: Brainstorm and explore different options to address the problem. 7. Evaluate and select the best solution: Assess potential solutions based on feasibility, effectiveness, and impact.

First, identify what the conflict is about with the involved parties. This includes the details, facts, motivations, and underlying emotions involved. Ask open-ended questions, I like to stay informal, like "What is going on?" or "Tell me about it." Then, listen by showing empathy, using pauses, and minimal encouragers. To ensure understanding paraphrase and summarize when appropriate. Always avoid assumptions and judgments. Additionally, at the beginning, avoid trying to problem-solve. You have to allow those involved to fully express themselves and feel heard. Active listening builds rapport, trust, and collaboration, leading to more information, understanding, and better outcomes.

To be able to identify the problem properly, first set aside the thought of knowing what the problem is. Don't assume you know what people think or feel in the situation. Rather, ask them. To dig deeper in understanding, ask use the 5 why method: ask "why" each time you get an answer to your question (what's the main issue here?) until you get to the point that the other person cannot think of any other underlying reasons.

Stephen Covey wrote that "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." By slowing down and being patient, we can put ourselves in the other party's shoes to understand their lived experience of the problem. This helps us to respect how they've reacted, acknowledge their feelings and come up with solutions to the problem together. Repeating what they have said as you understand it and questioning "have I understood this correctly?" goes a long way to resolving conflict. It communicates that you're trying to empathis with them and understand their point of view. Dropping in an "I hear you" as you listen is a great way to communicate that you're following when they voice their problem.

Listening empathetically cannot be understated here. If you do not listen to understand, you will not have a good result. This will help build trust with the person we are working with. Deep down, people want to be understood.

Active listening is all about understanding the other person's point of view. You have to put yourself in their shoes and see the scenario from their lens. It's difficult as your own experiences and perspectives will bring in bias to the process, but you have to break free of that and connect with empathy at the core.

Active listening means fully engaging with the person you're having a conflict with. It's about giving them your undivided attention, maintaining eye contact, and showing genuine interest in their perspective. By doing so, you create a safe and supportive environment for open and honest communication. Realize that conflicts often stem from misunderstandings or misinterpretations. Comments such as, “I understand…” provides a safe environment and conveys that you truly understand their point of view. Reflecting back their words and feelings helps clarify any misconceptions and ensures that both parties are on the same page.

Give yourself a purpose: that you want to truly understand both sides up until the point when you can confidently put yourself in both their shoes. Don't speak up (except for asking questions) until you're sure you've reached this point.

Responding constructively?Consider this…during conflicts, people tend to get defensive and interrupt each other. That's not the way to go. You need to practice self-control and refrain from interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Let the person express themselves fully, without any interruptions. This shows respect and allows them to vent their frustrations, which can be incredibly relieving.

One thing I found helpful is do not jump into anything just glide into his point and then explain how it will be beneficial to both by collectively putting both the points in agreement with each other for common Goal

Some points to consider here: - Listening with empathy can be the solution itself (lots of times not listening is the cause of a problem) - Letting go the need to "be right" helps with finding a compromised outcome - Seeking solutions that are workable for all who are involved needs active engagement from all people who are part of the conflict - if someone doesn't take the responsibility for that you cannot take it instead of them

When listening to the other person, make sure that we listen with the intent to understand rather than to respond. This is why active listening will require focus and it's a skill that is crucial for effective collaboration. When conflict arises, it's necessary for each individual to understand each other's point of view, as all of us have the potential to fall into having blind spots, things we're not aware of that other people might be. Use this as an opportunity to enrich our understanding of the topic that we're dealing with.

Also, and this is crucial, don't underestimate the power of non-verbal cues. Your body language speaks volumes! Maintain an open posture, provide good eye contact, nod your head to show you're actively listening, and use appropriate facial expressions to convey understanding and empathy. These non-verbal cues can make or break the resolution process, so pay attention to them.

Making sure we give the other person the time and space to express themselves fully is quite important. While we may want to rush to resolution and move on with our day, sometimes it can take time to give another person the opportunity to fully express themselves. If someone feels rushed, their emotions might be heightened, making it harder to work through issues collaboratively. If the conversation becomes emotionally heated, it's also important to note that it's ok to take a break from the discussion and return back to it once everyone has had a chance to calm down. Having a conversation where either or both parties are emotionally dysregulated and no longer have access to their prefrontal cortex for logical problem-solving isn't helpful.