How can you share your expertise without dominating the conversation?

Active listening is the cornerstone of effective coaching. As an executive coach, I've witnessed its transformative power firsthand. Active listening isn't just about hearing words; it's about tuning in to nuances, emotions, and unspoken messages. It builds trust and rapport, making coachees feel truly heard and valued. By giving them my full attention and suspending judgment, I create a safe space for self-exploration. This encourages open dialogue and helps uncover underlying concerns, aspirations, and blind spots. Through active listening, I gain insights into their thought processes, enabling me to tailor my guidance and questions more precisely.

All listening is filtered through what we know, which is why we recommend talking to several coaches before you select one Let’s say your goal is to improve work life balance so you can reduce stress You meet with three different coaches: an executive coach, burnout coach, and communication coach Each coaching experience is different because of how we have experienced the world They ask different questions, share different observations, and at the end you have three very different coaching experiences Listening is a skill all coaches have (some better than others) and finding a coach that has experience in the area you want to grow in makes a difference

What's the hardest thing about being in a room of smart people? Many of my clients (who are smart in their own right) often feel intimidated by others in the conference room, and as a result they--sadly--silence themselves. Their beautiful ideas never see the light of day, or else they're shared privately or via email afterward, where the cadence, uniqueness, nuance and tone are lost. As a coach, I love helping smart, accomplished people overcome "achievement dysmorphia" and "impostor syndrome" so they feel confident speaking up. And part of speaking up is not talking over anyone else or stealing someone else's thunder: it's about starting with a thought-provoking and engaging question. (I intentionally started this post with a "?")

I wonder if there is a need to share our expertise? Who is judging us as the expert? Ourselves? Or is that just our ego getting in the way I wonder. How could we show up, knowing the person sat with us is the expert in their lives, not us?

In addition to all valuable comments already done on this topic. It makes probably to remember that coaching Executives/Managers is FINALLY giving them the room they need to express themself. Beeing Executive/Manager means also beeing or feeling lonely (more than they show it).

Mastering the art of questioning is a cornerstone of successful coaching. As an executive coach, I've witnessed the profound impact that both closed and open-ended questions can have on coachees' insights and growth. Closed-ended questions are like signposts—they guide the conversation and elicit specific answers. They're useful for clarifying facts or gauging understanding. On the other hand, open-ended questions are the keys to unlocking deeper exploration. They encourage reflection, introspection, and elaboration, fostering a broader perspective and uncovering underlying motivations. The interplay between these question types creates a dynamic rhythm in my coaching conversations.

I think it’s really powerful to ask if sharing my experience, as a coach, would be helpful to the client. This way, the client retains choice rather than it being imposed. Before that though, even more powerful is for me as a coach to reflect on the question - “for what reason am I wanting to share this in the first place?”

Since asking powerful questions is coaching main tool. The way and the moment when the question are asked show the quality and maturity of the coach you are working with.

If today were your last day on Earth (not necessarily death... maybe you're flying off to Mars), how would you spend it? Asking powerful questions like "what are you most proud of?" or "what do people admire about you?" or the first question above, gets conversations flowing. It instantly creates connection, psychological safety, trust, curiosity, even intrigue. By asking powerful questions at the outset of a coaching session, I'm able to dive right in. We don't need to spend 15 mins. talking about the weather, unless my client is a meteorologist (and even then...). Powerful questions don't need to be super-unique, but often they are disarming because they get at deeper issues that clients don't typically think about in their day to day.

I am not an expert in my clients' lives or work--they are. And this relative lack of knowledge doesn't impede me--in fact, it allows for curiosity from my end. And when I'm curious about my clients (in a non-judgmental and psychologically comforting way), my clients give themselves the sometimes long-denied permission to be curious about themselves--and then magic can transpire. If I were an expert in my clients' particular industry, vertical, or geographical region, my brain would try to veer into "consulting" mode, and that's not at all what I want. I want to evoke, provoke + invoke their highest possible selves in each session, knowing that some days will be more poignant, or energized, or solution-focused than others, and that's ok.

Coaching is a co-created conversation, a dialogue not a monologue. If you think you are speaking too much, then you probably are. Trust your intuition. Get comfortable with awkward silence and create the psychological safety and space needed for your coachee to process and reply. Probing questions (especially open ended) can do this for you!

The parternership in coaching is mutual. The coach is equally committed to the goals of the client. Dialogue is about exploring and understanding their viewpoint without judgement. There are few other placed in life where this takes place.

To me, a coaching mindset is predicated first and foremost on the ICF core principles. Then I would advise taking from whatever coaching school or program you attended and leveraging whatever content you like to use and sprinkling a healthy dose of your own intuition. That is the formula for create a coaching mindset.

Not all stories are created equally and not all clients will care to listen. Utilize your background, skillset and personality to strategically support your clients. If you only take a clinical or scholarly approach you will most likely miss the depth and heart of the conversation. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable - you don't need to answer, solve or create the wins/answers. You simply need to show up, be present and listen.

I always ask my clients/coachees at the end of every session 3 questions, one of which is: "did you create value today and if so what will you take away?" -- this one question tells me everything I need to know about whether I was effective based on the value they created.