How can you resolve common dilemmas in executive coaching?

Coaching is often misunderstood and confused with mentoring and counselling. It is very important to clarify right in the beginning, what coaching is and also what coaching is not. Once I explain it, I have found greater acceptance of how we go about the sessions. And this also sets the boundaries really well to create a perfect partnership between me and my client.

The term "coaching" is commonly misunderstood, with many expecting a coach to simply provide solutions instead of enabling them. However, in my introductory session with clients, I emphasize that coaching is about outlining the process, managing expectations, and establishing accountability and responsibilities for both the client and coach. This session sets the foundation for our coaching relationship and ensures a collaborative approach towards achieving desired outcomes.

I often call that balance between challenge and support the Sustainable Sweet Spot. This is the kind of leadership that doesn't step on toes. Executive coaching gives us a ton of experience leading us to often know most of the answers. But it really isn't always our job to. Strong executive coaches won’t simply say everything that comes to mind, even if they know it to all be true. A good coach knows when they take overtake a project, they take away their client’s accountability and what could have been valuable learning experiences. Quality coaches will know what level of support to provide to empower clients to do the job, rather than doing it for them.

Supporting is easy. The beauty and power of executive coaching lies in challenge. Of course, as a coach, you seek the permission to challenge and clarify its intent right at the beginning of the session. Once the desired rapport is in place, the challenge has a great impact on the quality of conversation. More often than not, the clients are achievers of some degree who may face many challenges but may not be getting challenged by many. So, the challenge by a competent coach is a welcome change to their routine professional life. Then, you are not closed to supporting them but you do so only, when you sense the need, and that also works well.

Coaching is to help the person helps herself/himself. The GROW Model provides a practical method to guide the Coaching sessions. Asking How and What questions in a way to make the problem more of a challenge or opportunity. Goal: Clarify and agree a realistic motivating outcome with specific Objectives of the session. Reality: Raise awareness of current situation. Encourage the coachee to have self assessment. Options: Stimulate the coachee to examine her/his own available options, and finds best ways to do it. Will: Check the coachee commitments to her/his selected option. During the above, the coach shall practice Active Listening skills including: - Summarizing - Paraphrasing - Reflecting - Listening to understand

Supporting a client throughout their transformative journey is of utmost importance in coaching, but it is equally crucial for a coach to challenge the client when necessary. When I sense an underlying belief or barrier impeding progress, I respectfully seek permission from the client to delve deeper through constructive challenges. This approach not only assists in breaking through barriers but also strengthens the trust and rapport between both parties. By obtaining permission to dig deeper, we foster a collaborative environment where growth and progress can flourish.

The issue of resistance is mitigated when I conduct Stakeholder Centered Coaching for executives, is because one of the conditions on taking on a client is that they must agree to go through the process with Courage, Humility & Discipline. They agree that if I find these being violated, the coaching project is canceled. The emotions part is more a reflection of my maturity when they show emotions. I just have to allow them space to vent and even re-schedule if they can't carry on.

This is the toughest and most challenging situation and unfortunately not uncommon. Coach might take it as rejection but that shouldn't be the case. Emotions and hostility of the client may be their expression of deep rooted dogmas developed out of their experience and fear of failure. I believe situation like this is the biggest challenge for the couch provided you are still retained as a couch and not fired already. Let heat settle down, give space to the client and listen again to their fears and apprehension and reframe/rephrase your point of view in such a way that client finds it more reasonable and acceptable than before. And all this without compromising your basic premise that client's direction has to be course-corrected.

In coaching, I always prioritize the client's perspective over my own. This mindset helps me handle emotional swings and resistance by using feedback as a powerful tool. I ask for permission to provide feedback on the client's thoughts and emotions, which deepens our exploration of their experiences. When faced with significant resistance, I encourage breaks to engage in breathing and meditative exercises. These practices enable the client and me as the coach, to remain focused

As a coach, self-awareness is crucial to avoid overstepping boundaries. Recognizing when clients need additional support and referring them to appropriate resources is essential. I regularly reflect on my thoughts and emotions after each session, seeking mentorship for guidance in challenging situations. Continuous learning and maintaining professional connections help me stay competent.

As a coach, self-awareness is crucial to avoid overstepping boundaries. Recognizing when clients need additional support and referring them to appropriate resources is essential. I regularly reflect on my thoughts and emotions after each session, seeking mentorship for guidance in challenging situations. Continuous learning and maintaining professional connections help me stay competent. I use the ICF Code of Ethics as guidance

For Executive Coaching, I use Stakeholder Centered Coaching (SCC). In SCC process, the leader is measured on a scale to determine improvement or decline. This is done by the leader's stakeholders. Moreover, the leader is expected at the end of the coaching project to develop an After Action Report to capture learnings and what needs to be done for the immediate future.