How can you practice empathy in a competitive work environment?

Naming your emotions is something most ADULTS, myself included, struggle with. Mental health and trauma have become bigger conversations lately, but they were taboo topics for a very long time. For this reason, many people never learned to name their emotions and, even worse, fell into a habit of misnaming them. For example, fear is often misnamed as anger. Sitting in an emotion before reacting and asking yourself the following questions can be helpful: 1. How do I think I am feeling? 2. Why do I feel this way? 3. Can I trace where this emotion comes from? 4. Does my reaction have to do with this moment or something else? 5. Is there a constructive solution to this emotion that I can act on now? 5a. If not, what IS in my control?

Emotional awareness is key to understand other people’s experiences. This starts with asking yourself: - what am I feeling exactly in this moment? Label the feelings: for example you can say ‘I feel frustrated’ - Rate the feeling. From a scale of 1 to 10, how frustrated do you feel? After acknowledging the feeling, try to reflect on the value behind it ‘what does this feeling suggest that I care about?’ It could be your work performance for example. Now try a few techniques to ground your self and reflect like journaling your thoughts, or simply breathing to calm down.

In a competitive work environment, it's crucial to identify and understand one's emotions to practice empathy. Recognizing our biases, reactions, and emotional triggers can help prevent impulsive behavior. Empathy involves not projecting our feelings onto others but promoting sensitivity and supportiveness towards them. Establishing emotional boundaries and understanding how our emotions relate to others is also essential. Emotional intelligence is closely linked to empathy and involves managing emotions, which can lead to a better understanding of our coworkers and a more supportive work environment.

I find it helpful to practice mindfulness in terms of taking inventory of self in real time (or as much in real time as possible); the more deeply you understand yourself, the easier it is to begin to understand those around you.

As social being, we are more attuned to people’s reactions and body language and we are influenced by the subtle change of these reactions. This can help us as we listen, by observing the verbal and non-verbal cues of the speaker which helps us see things from their perspectives. Summarizing what they say and reflecting back by using their own words, without necessarily adding our own experience, helps validate their feelings and make them feel heard and understood.

Listening without interrupting is a key skill for effective communication with colleagues and subordinates. Real listening requires being non judgmental and reactive to the other person when the person is sharing their stories with us. It requires practice to listen with curiosity and open minded thinking. Being curious instead of furious when the other person makes their self disclosure about a negative experience or event.

Curiosity is the catalyst of reflection and engagement. It open the doors for us to explore the deep experiences of others by being engaged and genuinely interested. After summarizing what the person says you can ask a few follow up questions that show curiosity, like: - how does it feel to you to share this with me now? - how was it for you back then when this event happened? - what does it mean to you to overcome this specific difficulty? - how would you like me to help you or show you support? This also allows cognitive flexibility as we overcome our own assumptions or stereotypes.

Validating people’s feelings is very important especially when dealing with trauma survivors. Simple sentences like these can make a huge difference by making the other person feel heard and supported: - this must have been so hard on you - I cannot imagine how this feels for you - I can see that you still feel pain while you talk about this - your feelings are valid - I hear you…

Having my feelings validated by professionals was very meaningful to me when I was early in recovery. It continues to be meaningful to me today.

You don't need to be a mental health expert to offer the ‘right’ support in this specific moment when someone opens up to you about their mental health difficulties. You can simply ask them, 'How can I help you?' It's essential to recognize that these individuals reached out to you because they saw comfort and understanding in you. Sometimes, having a safe space to share their feelings and have a conversation can make a huge difference. You don't have to take on the role of a therapist or try to 'solve' their problems. Maybe all they wanted was to share their pain with another human being who appeared open and understanding – and that person is you.

It is easy to become ungrateful when we do not appreciate what we already have or gained. When stress starts building, it's easy to focus on problems. By listing what we have to be grateful for, it can lift our mood and boost our attitude. When our attitudes are positive, our peers will feel it.

In my experience, two heads are better than one. If I'm the CEO of some corporation, I don't want my employees competing against each other in any way. I want them working together constructively to divide and conquer each part of the problem. I did not hire them to compete against each other or to one up each other or for one party to win and the other to lose. I hired them to facilitate my primary business activity. Different people have different primary skills. Empathy involves identifying the various components of the problem and handling the components by assigning each person to the subject matter area where they can best perform.

In the fast-paced rhythm of a competitive workplace, empathy becomes your silent superpower. Listen actively, tuning into the unspoken cues of your colleagues. Celebrate their victories genuinely and offer support during setbacks. Seek to understand perspectives beyond the surface, fostering a culture where diverse voices are not just heard but truly valued. A simple, heartfelt acknowledgement of a colleague's efforts can create ripples of positivity. Empathy isn't a sign of weakness; it's the cornerstone of a resilient, collaborative team. Embrace it, and watch as your professional environment transforms into a hub of shared success and genuine camaraderie.

Realize the feelings and thoughts of others, using this tool to understand the other and communicate with him or her. From there we will make a healthier and more positive coexistence in any field. I say this having experience in education, in security and in the military.