How can you overcome defensiveness and reactivity in your interactions?

Reactivity comes from the amygdala or “reptilian brain”— the limbic system that is the oldest part of the brain. This part reacts super quickly to triggers— before one has a chance to “think,” the fight or flight response system kicks in. If you see a threat, the alarm system in your body (sympathetic nervous system) immediately engages and releases lots of hormones like adrenaline that can cause you to lash out (fight), run away (flight), become paralyzed (freeze), or overly attempt please others (fawn). It is important not to judge yourself because often these defensive patterns have been put in place to protect people since childhood. But the problem becomes when these defenses are no longer useful or adaptive for their current life.

To overcome defensiveness and reactivity in interactions, practice self-awareness, actively listen, seek understanding, delay responses, use "I" statements, focus on solutions, acknowledge valid points, avoid defensive body language, use reflective listening, set boundaries, take responsibility, express emotions appropriately, use humor, focus on the issue, build positive relationships, provide constructive feedback, consider different perspectives, and seek third-party assistance. Overcoming defensiveness is an ongoing process that requires self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication skills. By implementing these strategies, you can create a more collaborative and positive environment in your interactions.

Verwenden Sie das Stop Zeichen ODER 54321 Erst beobachten Stop dann von Aussen betrachten, dann in Aktion statt Reaktion treten.

This can be Done by Becoming more conscious. Yes It will take time to let down the defensive guards . One needs to be very conscious for when to let these guards down If these guards are always on There's no scope for learning Because when any right thing will be told , you'll either not listen or lash out Another way is to know the intentions of the person speaking to you If their intentions are good , just listen totally, be all ears .

Defensiveness and Reactivity are manifestations of psychological defense mechanisms which generally operate to reduce inner tension/stress/anxiety.The Defense Mechanisms operate at the Unconscious level. As a result of the unconscious origins of these psychological manifestations;all or those who are severely plagued with them may not be aware of its presence let alone shut them out. It is a step in the right direction to have Supervisors who can monitor and pick up unhealthy psychological manifestations like Defensiveness and Reactivity for address. 19/11/2023÷Sun.

A great way to respond in situations when you feel defensive due to something someone said to you is "thank you for your feedback". Knowing in your mind that you are open to considering the concept that there might be 10% of truth in the feedback, or 10% of a perspective that is valuable to hear, or at minimum 10% of the information in the feedback that you can make use of, helps overcome defensiveness and reactivity.

Stay in the present moment. Avoid any other kind of stimuli that may remove you from this moment. By being less reactive, you are listening more and in turn the other party feels validated. This eases them and makes for a more mindful experience between the two. Empathize with them. Those are just bonus points.

When you practice meditation that helps to reduce the monkey mind chatter that is ongoing in our mind. It quiets the mind. With practice of meditation tools during the day - when not on the cushion - we can use tools to find the pause in between when we hear something or perceive something threatening. That pause allows us to break the habit of being triggered and becoming defensive and reactive. Simple things like observing your breath during the pause can help break that habit. This also allows for a reexamination of the situation, so we can find a more skillful way to respond vs a knee jerk less skillful response (e.g. anger, annoyance, shutting down, etc.)

By stepping back & objectively observing defensive thoughts or reactive emotions, individuals can gain insight into the underlying causes & patterns. This observational stance creates a mental space for more conscious responses. When faced with a triggering situation, taking a few deep intentional breaths can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing the physiological response associated with defensiveness & reactivity. Mindfulness emphasizes non-judgmental awareness. Instead of immediately labeling thoughts or emotions as good or bad, right or wrong, mindfulness encourages acceptance. This non-judgmental attitude can help individuals approach situations with greater openness, reducing the need for defensive reactions.

Practicing mindfulness regularly and daily is like working out a muscle. The more regularly that you do it, the better it can be available to you when you feel stressed and overwhelmed. Mindfulness practices like meditation and yoga enhance the “relaxation response” and studies have shown that it changes the brain on MRI brain scans after regular weekly practice. Mindfulness gives you the power to put on the brakes and slow down before reacting — even just a few seconds gives you enough pause to stop, slow down, and choose how to respond, not react.

Mindful S.T.O.P. Technique: S.T.O.P. stands for Stop, Take a breath, Observe, and Proceed mindfully. When you notice defensiveness arising, pause and engage in this four-step process to regain control over your reactions.

A helpful strategy to combat reactivity and soothe your nervous system involves redirecting focus to your outer world, 'cooling down' your inner system. Try tuning into external sounds and sights for a brief period until you sense a tangible shift. Additionally, consider directing attention to parts of your body where comfort and safety are present, inviting relaxation to expand. Explore 'pendulation'—shifting attention between emotionally activated areas and physical calm and comfort—where there isn't much activation going-restful states, can also prove beneficial in restoring balance and harmony.

Compassion is essential here, both for yourself and others. Judgment is often at the heart of defensiveness and reactivity. Compassion cultivation is an antidote to this because it practices responding to life with kindness and a willingness to help. This is why compassion is regarded as a helper too mindfulness.

Grounding technique which requires you to identify items with all your fives senses This technique helps you to stop breath and acknowledge your feelings. Other techniques would include journaling. This technique works amazing if you are feeling defensive. It helps you to blow off steam by writing all your negative thoughts on paper.

"Achtsamkeit bietet effektive Techniken, um Abwehrhaltung und Reaktivit?t zu überwinden. Durch achtsames Atmen beruhigt sich das Nervensystem, kl?rt den Geist und f?rdert Gelassenheit. Achtsames Zuh?ren, ohne Vorurteile oder vorgefertigte Antworten, verbessert die Kommunikation und zeigt Empathie. Die achtsame Untersuchung hilft, Situationen zu verstehen: Was fühlt, denkt und ben?tigt jede beteiligte Person? Diese Techniken schaffen Einsicht, Klarheit und f?rdern konstruktive Reaktionen.

Start with a daily practice of 5 minutes in a quiet area, simply watching your breath. I have taught over 200,000 people to meditate. And those who say they can't either have the wrong teacher or the wrong expectations. Try 5 minutes a day of watching your breath (eyes closed, sitting in a quiet room) and when you get distracted simply go back to watching your breath. It is a game. You win if you play. There are no losers or goals. We just 'play' the game and you get benefit. This translates over into calmness during the day and the tools to pause and/or 'change the channel' when you get triggered.

The PAUSE we take with mindful awareness is key to determining our follow up to an experience - whether we are reacting impulsively or responding wisely. This pause can happen at any point of a difficult interaction (after we reply defensively, before we blurt it all out, the moment we notice anger arising or muscles in the body tightening, the first thoughts that come into the mind), but the earlier we become aware of what’s happening within us, the more effectively we can intervene impulsiveness and self-regulate. And this of course takes practice of cultivating constant awareness of our internal environment.

You can build your mental fitness by practicing micro- mindfulness throughout your work day.. For example set a notification on your phone to meditate for 2 minutes 3x per day. That will tally up in your brain as 6 minutes of building the neural pathways that deliver the benefits of mindfulness. Every minute counts so start small and build up the habit ??

Immer wieder bewusst innehalten und alles, was du tust, bewusst wahrnehmen. Wenn ich esse, esse ich. Wenn ich gehe, gehe ich. Wenn ich koche, koche ich. Achtsamkeit im Alltag sorgt für Ruhe und Ausgeglichenheit.

Try taking five minutes to practice breathing and awareness before some of your important daily tasks; meetings, etc. Give yourself a little break before you head on.

Mindfulness shifts us away from the ego's defensiveness and familiar communication patterns learned in childhood. It urges us to regulate our nervous system, enabling us to respond calmly and empathetically. This approach fosters new paths where self-awareness thrives, improving our communication, self-advocacy, and accountability. Consequently, instead of pushing away loved ones during conflicts, we grow closer to them.

Though I think truly “overcoming” defensiveness and reactivity is truly possible for most of us, it is possible to gain some more space and freedom in these areas. The benefits may include a greater ability to solve problems because of enhanced clarity and creativity. This in turn can result in less stress and greater confidence in one’s abilities. It can also help solidify and improve relationships by avoiding and resolving conflicts.

Eine entspanntere Lebenseinstellung. Ruhe und Ausgeglichenheit. Bessere Beziehungen. Stressreduktion, besserer Schlaf, erh?hte Konzentration und Leistungsf?higkeit sind nur einige wertvolle Ergebnisse.

The benefits here are that one then lives with a calm and well balanced nervous system, knowing that nothing could throw you off your path as your’re always moving forward from a mindful and deeply centred state. This takes a lot of practice and many years of self work, but one feels the benefit of the practice straight away as it brings more peace and clarity into one’s life

The benefits are too many to list here!! Calmness Control over one's mind Clarity Less fear Seeing reality Becoming move compassionate and kind More skillful speaking Less chatter in the mind Reduced expectations Reduced grasping on past or future

Practicing is the only major key! To be able to stop, take a breath, give yourself time and then respond instead of react ....... Nothing really works without practicing!! Tips and Tricks: ?? Ask clarifying questions from a place of curiosity ??Frame interactions through shared hopes rather than differences ??Notice own emotional triggers and separation; reconnect with compassion ??Allow others their experiences while trusting my truth And finally My Favorite ???? ??See all as fellow travelers doing their best with where they are now ??When tensions arise, refocus on wishing well, not being right

Start!!! There is nothing more noble than getting control over your state of mind. It is the only think you really can control in your life AND It is the only thing that can truly give you long term joy and freedom.

It's very helpful to become curious about your defensiveness and notice when and why it happens. Most reactions are both actual responses to real events as well as residue from other/earlier events that color perception in a given conflict. Notice when you are upset or defensive. If you cannot stop it in the moment it surfaces, reflect on it afterwards as objectively as you can. Notice if your defensive reaction seems familiar and has happened before. This will tell you if old habits or coping mechanisms are clouding the clarity that you need in conflict situations. If you do notice this in reflecting on the event, be kind to yourself and do some slow breathing for a minute or two to resent yourself for when/if it happens again.

If you don’t put the work, the result will never be attained. It’s all about consistency on whether you journal, meditate, or simply just breathe. All of these different approaches will make a world ?? of a difference. Try it!

As a layperson I say - take a pause !! A pause allows you to assimilate your thoughts on what is said, manage your emotions and reply in a manner that it has the desired impact.