How can you negotiate with a community stakeholder who has a strong emotional attachment?

2 Validate their emotions

The second step is to validate their emotions, even if you do not agree with their position. Validation means recognizing and accepting their feelings as legitimate and understandable, without judging or dismissing them. You can use statements such as "I can see how you feel that way" or "It makes sense that you are passionate about this issue". By validating their emotions, you can reduce their defensiveness, increase their receptivity, and build rapport.

3 Reframe the problem

The third step is to reframe the problem in a way that shifts the focus from positions to interests, from differences to commonalities, and from conflict to cooperation. You can use techniques such as paraphrasing, summarizing, or mirroring to reflect back what you heard and check for understanding. You can also use positive language, such as "opportunities", "solutions", or "benefits", to emphasize the potential outcomes of the negotiation. By reframing the problem, you can create a shared understanding and a positive tone.

4 Explore options

The fourth step is to explore options that can satisfy both parties' interests and needs, while respecting their values and identities. You can use brainstorming, probing, or suggesting to generate and evaluate possible alternatives. You can also use criteria, such as fairness, feasibility, or efficiency, to compare and rank the options. You can also use trade-offs, concessions, or incentives to overcome impasses or create value. By exploring options, you can foster creativity and flexibility.

5 Seek commitment

The fifth step is to seek commitment from the stakeholder to implement the agreed option. You can use questions, summaries, or confirmations to clarify the details and expectations of the agreement. You can also use appreciation, recognition, or compliments to reinforce the positive aspects of the negotiation and the relationship. You can also use follow-up, feedback, or monitoring to ensure accountability and sustainability. By seeking commitment, you can secure the outcome and the trust.

6 Manage emotions

The final step is to manage your own emotions throughout the negotiation process. You may encounter triggers, such as insults, accusations, or threats, that can provoke your anger, frustration, or anxiety. You may also experience empathy fatigue, compassion fatigue, or burnout from dealing with intense or prolonged emotions. You can use strategies, such as self-awareness, self-regulation, or self-care, to cope with your emotions and maintain your composure and professionalism. By managing your emotions, you can enhance your effectiveness and well-being.