How can you manage your emotions with difficult stakeholders?

The stakeholder is difficult only because, they are also answerable to someone else in their company. No one wants to be harsh or difficult, because it is the nature rather it is the nature of the work. Why we perceive it as difficult is we are not understanding their situation or pain points. Sometimes the stakeholder might not be able to explicitly table them there, that’s when the difficulty starts. So proper communication and understanding are the key elements to identify triggers and thus handling difficult stakeholders

Managing emotions with difficult stakeholders is essential for maintaining professionalism. Early in my leadership journey, I took everything personally, but then I learned to follow "Q-TIP"—Quit Taking It Personally. People's behavior often reflects their own challenges rather than a direct attack. Embracing this mindset helped me respond with empathy, focus on resolving the issue, and understand their needs without feeling defensive. Remembering that everyone faces unseen struggles makes it easier to stay calm and solutions-oriented, leading to stronger relationships. The Q-TIP approach was transformative in fostering better connections with stakeholders.

Navigating emotions with challenging stakeholders requires finesse and strategy: - Mastering Patience: Stay composed and patient, even in tense situations. - Empathetic Listening: Understand their concerns by actively listening and showing empathy. - Open Dialogue: Foster open dialogue by asking insightful, open-ended questions. - Building Bridges: Establish rapport and trust by respectfully expressing your perspective. - Seek Growth: Embrace continuous improvement through "feedforward" – seeking input for future development, as learned from experiences like MGSCC. Join the journey of emotional mastery! ??? #StakeholderManagement #EmotionalIntelligence #EffectiveCommunication #FeedbackCulture #ProfessionalDevelopment

In managing emotions with challenging stakeholders, a strategic approach is to harness empathy as a tool for perspective-taking. Instead of viewing difficult behaviors as personal affronts, consider the underlying pressures or constraints stakeholders may be facing. This shift in perspective can change our emotional responses, fostering a more collaborative and less reactive engagement. By understanding their context, you can tailor your communication and problem-solving strategies, aligning your approach with their needs and concerns. This method not only aids in managing one's emotions but also in building stronger, more resilient relationships with stakeholders, ultimately contributing to more effective and harmonious project outcomes.

I use to engage with stakeholders by listening calmly, showing compassion, and empathizing to understand their emotions and motivations. Validating their concerns builds trust and rapport. In meetings, I maintain professionalism and remain courteous, even in the face of criticism. I steer clear of personal attacks and conflicts, focusing instead on constructive solutions. Seeking common ground fosters collaboration and positivity. Shifting focus from problems to solutions, I collaborate with stakeholders to address their needs effectively.

Choosing your response involves cognitive reappraisal, perspective-taking, and emotion regulation techniques. Choosing your response engages brain regions associated with cognitive control and social cognition, which modulate emotional empathy and perspective-taking abilities. Apply the Conflict Resolution Model, which delineates stages of conflict escalation, negotiation, and resolution, to guide your approach to choosing responses that de-escalate tension, build rapport, and foster mutual understanding. Practice mindfulness meditation or cognitive reframing techniques to regulate emotional arousal and enhance cognitive flexibility, enabling you to choose responses that align with your values, goals, and desired outcomes.

Being able to choose a response is directly linked to our self awareness & our ability to regulate. This comes with practice and personal work. My best advice is, whenever dealing with an intense urge of coming back with an answer that's usually a sign that we shouldn't. When caught in this situation, try to step back and come back whith a clearer head. Some getaway phrases that might help: "I hear you, let me come back to you on this.", "That's an interesting point of view, let me go through it and I'll come back to you."

Take a deep breath and stay calm: Before responding to an emotionally charged situation, take a moment to breathe deeply and calm yourself. This can help you respond more rationally and control your emotions.

Lorsque je suis pris pars les émotions négatives, quelques techniques m’aident comme : - Prendre le temps de se calmer avant de réagir. - écouter attentivement les points de vue des parties prenantes. - Rechercher des solutions mutuellement acceptables. - Demander de l'aide si nécessaire.

I believe that there is a difference between the feelings of the emotions and the actions, we can control our actions compared to our emotions, so always take those few moments which are between the actions and the feelings to think wisely before you regret the consequence of your doings.

Be careful of the Catch 22 in empathy with difficult stakeholders as empathy needs authenticity. In difficult stakeholder exchanges reciprocity is key. A good example of reciprocal exchange is when both parties “ seek first to understand then be understood( Franklin Covey).” By considering the outcome over the emotion through understanding it’s possible to move through difficult situations with more ease.

Usually when a stakeholder is difficult, it's because they have a ton of pressure on them to deliver the project/initiative. I usually let them vent, summarize their key pain points, and then come up with a plan of execution/monitoring followed up with regular updates defined by their communication requirements. If the problem is still not resolved, then more drastic measures need to be taken (I.e. changing resources on the project, resetting the project or advising to cancel the project all together in order to do what's best for the client).

When facing difficult stakeholders, being empathetic and skilled at building rapport can be your secret weapon... By truly understanding someone's perspective and demonstrating genuine care, you can more effectively manage your own emotions. Empathy allows us to connect with one another on a deeper level, seeing things from their point of view. This not only helps reduce negative emotions but also fosters a sense of trust and cooperation. Having an empathetic approach can help turn difficult stakeholder interactions into constructive dialogues that build an understanding and create trust while paving the way for mutually beneficial outcomes.

In my experience, empathy works wonders. Countless times, I've responded with phrases like 'I understand how frustrating that must be' or 'I see the position you're in, and I apologize for that... Here's what I can do to help.' Not only does this shift the tone of the conversation, but it also positively impacts the stakeholder's perception of you and their subsequent interactions.

Practice empathy: Try to understand the perspective and feelings of the difficult stakeholders. Put yourself in their shoes and try to see the situation from their point of view. This can help reduce conflicts and find more collaborative solutions.

Boundaries and expectations goes hand-in-hand in every project and interaction you have. When you set up boundaries, you're setting up expectations that both parties are to put 100% of their effort into a given project. Even though setting up boundaries sound like you're putting up a wall, there are times where you'll have to depend on your stakeholder for knowledge and experience. That means there should be an expectation that every conversation and task is a two-way street. While it states that setting up boundaries "protect your own interests, values, and well-being", setting expectations would be the best way to approach the difficult stakeholder. Everyone has a part to play, especially when the stakeholder is a subject expert.

Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny - Lao Tzu When dealing with difficult stakeholders establish and communicate your professional values and standards and be true to them. This allows for authentic, honest, and transparent communication outlining clear boundaries. It is inevitable in a professional environment people's opinions will differ but you must navigate these scenarios in an empathetic and respectful manner, address the situation not the person.

While empathy is important indeed, firstly you need to identify your own boundaries before communicating anything. While interacting with the difficult stakeholders it is crucial to be able to communicate clearly and assertively your boundaries. The direct language will help the expression of your thoughts. It is important to avoid being ambiguous as this could potentially lead to misunderstandings. Keeping record of the interactions,tasks, or any agreements/compromises is also a good idea. Boundaries in the workplace can prevent conflicts, stress,and burnouts.

Setting boundaries involves assertive communication, negotiation, and conflict management strategies to establish clear expectations. Setting boundaries engages brain regions associated with self-control, self-esteem, and social perception, which regulate interpersonal boundaries and assertive behavior. Apply the Assertiveness Training Model, which teaches communication skills and boundary-setting techniques, to guide your approach that protects your well-being, preserve professional relationships, and prevents exploitation or manipulation. Practice assertive communication techniques such as “I” statements, active listening, and negotiation skills to express your needs, preferences, and limits effectively, reinforcing boundaries.

If a stakeholder is being abusive or disrespectful, establish healthy boundaries and assert yourself firmly but respectfully.

Pause, breathe, and listen. Approach with empathy, set clear boundaries, and focus on finding common ground. Stay cool. Remember, not to take it personally. Work is just one aspect of life, don't let it define the whole.

6. Follow-Up Self-Reflection: Consider your own reactions, responses, and emotions during the interaction. Assess what worked well and what could have been handled better. Feedback Gathering: If possible, seek feedback from colleagues or supervisors who might have observed the interaction. Their insights can provide a different perspective on the situation. By following up and reflecting on your interactions with difficult stakeholders, you can continuously improve your emotional intelligence and communication skills, leading to more productive and harmonious relationships in the long run.

Seeking support is a powerful tool when you're dealing with difficult stakeholders, however, it is also ideal to not get wrapped into a discussion that solidifies your confirmation bias. Your support could be and in most cases should be shedding light on the many perspectives that might be viewed. This allows for everyone in a project to see eye-to-eye and be understood in non-subjective lens. In seeking support, you might be able to find the "why?" that is making a stakeholder "difficult". Once you understand the stakeholder's "why" in acting or thinking a certain way, you're able to adjust or change the method of approach.

If you're dealing with an especially challenging situation, don't hesitate to seek support from colleagues, supervisors, or HR professionals to help you manage your emotions and resolve the conflict constructively.

Faites une pause, respirez et écoutez. Abordez avec empathie, fixez des limites claires et concentrez-vous sur la recherche d’un terrain d’entente. Restez au frais. N’oubliez pas de ne pas le prendre personnellement. Le travail n’est qu’un aspect de la vie, ne le laissez pas définir l’ensemble.

It's not personal. Even if the stakeholders cross limits or hit below the belt, always try to remind yourself that it is your reaction that they are seeking. However, it does not mean that you should not speak your mind. Give your 2 cents but when the stakeholder is beyond reasoning or too difficult, don't waste your time in convincing them. Every manager has a manager. Hit the link in the chain which has authority. Last resort, escalate internally and have a cup of tea/coffee.

Ask yourself why you’re feeling the way you are. A lot of the time you’ll realise it’s actually not them you’re feeling that emotion at but a past experience that’s been triggered and made you feel that way. Rationalising your emotions are a great way of learning to control them.

Controlling one's emotions is crucial because if they get the best of you, it could take the whole thing downward. It is important to get the difficult stakeholders on the table and understand their issues and look for solutions together (sometimes you will have to drive it) which could help bring them onto your side. Documenting all the discussions and progress becomes important as a follow up tool and also a constant reminder.

Focus on Solutions: Shift the focus of discussions from dwelling on problems to identifying practical solutions. Collaborate with stakeholders to brainstorm ideas and explore alternative approaches that address their concerns while aligning with project goals.

By understanding their concerns and needs, empathy comes into play. However, empathy doesn't imply giving in; rather, it involves seeking a solution that works best for both parties, with a mutual understanding of each other's limits. Only then the best solution can be found.