How can you manage resistance and defensiveness in adult education coaching sessions?

And the root of that will go to childhood conditionings. Meaning something vulnerable happened in the past, and resistance developed to protect that vulnerable or scared part. So important to create and safe container to able to relax and allow resistance to melt organically

It is essential that at the beginning of the coaching process there is a PACT between coach and coachee. If later the coach detects LACK OF INTEREST in the process by the coachee, the best thing to do is to end the process. Otherwise, it will be a waste of time.

Asking open ended questions and inviting them to connect with their emotions can be crucial. Non judgmental listening will create the space to open up and let it out

One crucial element to challenging and supporting a client is to create challenging and achievable goals with them. Creating goals that meet the needs of your clients while challenging them is fundamental to effective coaching. Walking alongside your client in achieving their goals will create further confidence in them and this will help to alleviate resistance and defensiveness.

The type of reaction to be taken will depend on the difference detected between the coachee's vision and the rest. The four types of coaching to develop can be summarized: 1.- SUPPORT: when third parties and coachee agree that the coachee lacks that skill. 2.- MAINTENANCE: when third parties and coachee see that he/she has that strength. 3.- REINFORCEMENT: when third parties see that it is a strength but the coachee disagrees. 4.- SHOCK: when the coachee believes that he/she has this strength but the others do not agree. In people with LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM we usually work on 3.- and in people with EXCESS OF ESTIMATE we work on 4.

A mistake in some organizations is to force someone to start a coaching process. If the coachee does not have the ATTITUDE for it, it is better not to develop the process. Maybe later on he/she will be willing.

Every action is driven by an intention. Acts of resistance and defensiveness present an opportunity to delve deeper into understanding your client's belief systems. My approach is to raise their awareness about their resistance (as they may not always realize it) and inquire with gentle curiosity about the purpose the resistance is serving. More often than not, you'll discover that it is attempting to protect the client from feelings of shame or other negative emotions.

In my environment, the reason for resistance is that someone has sent someone to coaching, which wasn't their choice. Identifying this feeling at the beginning is important as it will affect the coaching results. Often, people need to realize the potential coaching has outside their work. I usually address that first, and when they become aware it's not just a must for the job but also a benefit for all spheres of life, they stop resisting. I try to build excitement. If I succeed, I am happy; if I am faced with resistance (at the beginning), I consider not to coach. If resistance appears in the coaching process, we identify and address where it is coming from. Sometimes, this means utilizing someone else's services.