How can you help your mentee develop their listening skills?

There is a difference between 'listening' and 'waiting to talk'. Without self-awareness and humility we remain caught in the adolescent strategies of avoidance and heroic striving. For many leaders, their ability to shift gears into 'listening to understand' versus 'listening to respond' is a key ingredient in their success. Simply start by less time talking and more time listening, being fully present for what the other person is saying and genuinely trying to understand them. Think of it as 'anti-small talk'!

It's absolutely crucial to understand the difference between "Listening" and "Hearing". Once the mentees realise the clear difference, it opens up a whole new world of opportunities. Once you are actively listening, the best approach would be to make note of following and start with , 1.What you liked best in the whole conversation or event and express the appreciation for the speaker for giving their time. 2.questions or doubts, 3.Pay attention to all those who are speaking as there is a chance that some other mentee might have the same doubt or question and you might get the answer without repeating the question. Being Mindful is the key. Be Present. Be Patient. Be respectful. Always remember no one is perfect, so alwaysbe kind.

Listening skills improve with repeated use but more importantly, feedback from you to your mentee. The goal is to develop a skill set that will serve them well. Providing regular feedback allows the individual an environment conducive to developing correct listening skills instead of becoming a mediocre listener. Patience is also a prerequisite in a mentoring relationship. Some learners may require a bit more time and practice than others.

The best tool I've found for moving a client from "waiting to speak" to "active listening" is to give them this challenge: "for the next 30 days you cannot, in any interaction, give your opinion, perspective or answer, until you've first summarised what you've heard back to the speaker." This challenges the client to focus on listening and understanding, before replying. The main resistance I get back is that they are worried they won't have enough time or bandwidth to be able to come up with a useful response. However, with practice, they learn that a conversation is not a race to speak and that they have more time than they think to formulate their reply. This is a useful lesson in a world of instant messaging and rapid responses.