How can you help others improve their emotional intelligence?

In my experience, it can be a struggle to utilize emotional intelligence within a team or organization. The demands of a leadership role often leave little space for introspection and emotional self-awareness. As a woman in leadership, it is not always easy or advisable to express vulnerability or emotions in a professional setting. To overcome these challenges, I prioritize my own emotional self-awareness and foster opportunities for self-reflection. By dedicating time to developing my emotional intelligence skills through self-education, training, and seeking feedback, I can lead by example and inspire my team to cultivate their emotional intelligence as well.

I think it is important for leaders to authentically demonstrate skills and vulnerability, to build trust in teams. Humanising the challenges associated managing potentially limiting emotions is important. However, role modelling can only succeed in a positive culture of safety and trust, or there is risk it will be seen as inauthentic and a leadership weakness. I also think that the story telling of experiences that can come from a whole of team/organisation journey to achieve EI, could potentially be a relatable and successful method of learning and integrating an EI culture, as opposed to a top-down leader role modelling approach, which can import power dynamics and alienate buy-in.

A powerful key to helping others develop EI is the successful integration of our own inner emotional states. Often we are triggered by others, and if this happens, we cannot influence the situation we are part of. We must let go of the need to push and change (as this comes from fear), allowing the individual to learn at a much deeper level. Fundamentally, it is our emotional energy to which everyone responds.

EI can be studied intellectually in many ways, through books, seminars and coaching. However, true understanding comes when the student's emotional state has been looked at through the eyes of awareness and non-judgemental experience. Any charged emotions must be successfully integrated, and it is then that EI grows exponentially. This is a 'feeling-based' learning and the most powerful kind of work.

Guide them to see their potential. Start small by offering an opportunity to lead a specific task. Help them by finding opportunities that could benefit their growth. Half of the battle is having an individual see their self worth in the mirror.

Give credit and ensure the team(s) are aware of their effort. Write a short note telling them you appreciate how hard they tried. Orgs are using apps like lattice where everyone can see the positive. There are opportunities to help folks feel seen and appreciated.

Always encourage self care. Let your team know that there will be days that things go wrong and that you’re totally fine with it. If someone doesn’t have the ability to disconnect, it creates a culture of stress and leads to turnover eventually.

I would also recommend that the peg adopt a feedback culture. It’s important that people feel safe to give constructive feedback. Additionally, set up some time to reflect on challenges and wins. It helps the team see that progress is being made despite it not feeling that ways sometimes.

Approach Emotional Intelligence as a Skillset As with any other type of intelligence, developing emotional intelligence takes time, practice, feedback, and application of that feedback in growth-oriented ways. There are preexisting frameworks that can guide the reflections necessary to establish goals in this field. How much do you find your areas of growth having to do with “self-awareness” rather than “social awareness”? Perhaps you have steady holistic awareness, so how much would you like to develop your “self management” or “relationship skills,” moving from knowing to doing? This language—here specifically taken from CASEL (the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning)—can orient your trajectory of emotional growth.