As a mentor, you may encounter situations where your mentee is facing a personal or professional crisis that affects their well-being, performance, or goals. How can you help them cope and overcome the challenges they face? Here are some tips to guide you in supporting your mentee in crisis.
The first step to help your mentee in crisis is to listen to them with empathy and compassion. Empathetic listening means that you try to understand their feelings, thoughts, and needs without judging, interrupting, or offering advice. It also means that you show genuine interest, respect, and care for your mentee. By listening empathetically, you can create a safe and trusting space for your mentee to express themselves, vent their emotions, and feel heard and validated.
Don't judge, don't provide advice purely based purely on your experience, make sure you hear what they are actually saying. Often we think we hear , but sometimes the power of why will really drill into the real issue
The next step is to acknowledge the situation and the impact it has on your mentee. Acknowledging the situation means that you recognize the reality and seriousness of the crisis, and you do not minimize, deny, or dismiss it. It also means that you acknowledge the feelings and reactions of your mentee, and you do not invalidate, criticize, or blame them. By acknowledging the situation, you can show your mentee that you understand and empathize with their struggle, and that you do not expect them to be okay or normal.
Don't marginalise how they feel, check what's driving the emotions. It's easy to say something that makes you come across as not understanding the issue. Try I'm ok are you ok as a technique.
The third step is to offer support and resources to your mentee. Support can take various forms, such as emotional, practical, or informational. Emotional support means that you provide comfort, encouragement, and affirmation to your mentee. Practical support means that you help your mentee with tasks, responsibilities, or decisions that they may find overwhelming or difficult. Informational support means that you share relevant and useful information, advice, or referrals to your mentee. By offering support and resources, you can help your mentee cope and access the help they need.
If your a natural mentor you will think about others in your network they could speak to, it's a delicate balance but often if you can identify a good buddy this is a great gift
The fourth step is to respect the boundaries and limits of your mentee and yourself. Boundaries are the rules and expectations that define how you interact with each other, and what you are comfortable and willing to do or share. Limits are the point at which you or your mentee feel exhausted, overwhelmed, or unable to continue. Respecting boundaries and limits means that you communicate clearly and honestly, you ask for consent and permission, and you do not pressure or coerce your mentee. It also means that you take care of yourself, you seek your own support, and you do not take on more than you can handle. By respecting boundaries and limits, you can protect your mentee and yourself from harm and burnout.
The points above are clear, but remember feedback is a gift, you should ensure before entering into a mentoring situation you agree the rules of engagement
The fifth step is to follow up and check in with your mentee regularly. Follow up means that you contact your mentee after a crisis conversation or intervention, and you ask them how they are doing, what they need, and what they have done or plan to do. Check in means that you maintain contact with your mentee throughout the crisis period, and you offer them ongoing support, feedback, and accountability. By following up and check in, you can show your mentee that you care, that you are available, and that you are committed to their recovery and growth.
I was once taught to wifle, once a week "what do you feel like expressing" great technique for both parties. Good, the bad, the ugly, and to write down three things that your thankful for in a daily diary
The sixth step is to review and reflect on the crisis situation and the mentoring relationship with your mentee. Review means that you evaluate the outcomes and impacts of the crisis, and you identify the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats that emerged from it. Reflect means that you explore the learnings and insights that you and your mentee gained from the crisis, and you apply them to your future actions and goals. By reviewing and reflecting, you can help your mentee move forward from the crisis, and you can improve your mentoring skills and strategies.
[New Section After “Offer support and resources”] Empower your mentee The fourth step is to empower your mentee. Many times, people get stuck when they’re unable to see or accept their own potential. Empowering your mentee means helping them change their mindset to believe that they’re capable of achieving their goals. Look for opportunities to boost their confidence by highlighting what they’ve already done well. Also, suggest some tasks that will earn them “quick wins.” By doing these things, you can improve their self-esteem, give them a sense of accomplishment, and encourage them to succeed on the harder tasks.