How can you help a coachee address feedback based on personality differences?

Navigating feedback rooted in personality differences is delicate, but as an executive coach, I am dedicated to turning this challenge into a gateway for growth. Together, we will foster emotional intelligence and a growth mindset, enabling a transformative understanding and management of feedback. Customized strategies will be developed to ensure feedback is received as a tool for improvement, not criticism. We’ll harness actionable insights to promote enhanced communication and continuous learning. My commitment is to facilitate a journey where feedback becomes a powerful ally in your personal and professional evolution.

It is also important to distinguish, if the feedback was given to an event/process/outcome of coachee's actions, or was it seasoned by the source's personal attitude towards the coachee. Many people find it hard to separate a person from their actions, and therefore feedback may be biased.

To help a coachee with feedback tied to personality differences, start by acknowledging diversity and providing a safe space for discussion. Encourage self-reflection, emphasize strengths, and foster openness to feedback. Clarify feedback sources and their implications while educating on communication styles and adaptation. Promote empathy and offer conflict resolution guidance. Set clear behavior expectations and establish a feedback loop. Provide skill development resources, and recommend mentorship and peer support, maintaining ongoing coaching for growth.

This might be an unpopular opinion but I also like to ask my clients how the feedback might be helpful? This opens up an opportunity for the client to assess the feedback with their own thoughts about the situation. Feedback is never an exact science because it gives a one way perspective, however I believe that there is always something that can be learned or leveraged from the feedback, and this mindset opens up and opportunity for growth no matter what the feedback is and no matter who the feedback comes from.

Assume that the coachee receives feedback from someone with a very different personality than their own, and the coach assists the coachee in addressing it. There appear to be many intriguing points to focus on. What makes the coachee think they have different personalities? Which part of the feedback does the coachee find challenging to accept? And what kind of emotions, especially negative ones, arise when receiving the feedback? When the coachee feels negative emotions such as anger, rejection, indifference, and apathy, it presents a development opportunity. If the coach notices that the feedback affects the coachee's emotions, they should dive into not what the message means to the coachee, but the kind of emotion the coachee feels.

Taking feedback constructively is also dependent on how the feedback giver influences the coachee. If the influence is not positive, more likely there will be a resistance to the feedback. The questions I usually ask are - What is that feedback you had hope you would hear? Was there anything else you could have done, that might have got you the feedback you wished to hear? If you were to action the feedback, what is likely to happen? Is there any harm in experimenting? If there is a pattern in coachee with addressing feedback based on their personality, I would probably remind them of it. Lastly remember, "when you go digging for gold, ignore the dirt" - Andrew Carnegie

Another way to understand feedback based on personality differences is through examples: -Person "A" has a risk taker personality. It's expected from that person to give you risky proposals. -Person "B" has a follower personality. It's expected from that person that he/she will agree with a majority (apart from its own opinion). -Person "C" has a leader personality. It's expected from that person to receive a feedback that can lead he/she to an advance position. In other words, there is a science behind feedbacks. That's why personality tests are a must. Tip: Choose various personality tests as they give you different outcomes.