How can you handle argumentative phone conversations with ease?

Over the last 25 years in Recruitment I have had my fair share of argumentative phone conversations. Admittedly in my younger days I would try and get my point across. However to achieve the best results it is about active listening and getting the person to fully explain their perspective. I try to imagine myself in their shoes and not judge on personality down the phone, but on the situation they are in.

One thing I've found helpful is when dealing with tough phone conversations, keep your composure and maintain an open, calm tone. Actively listen to understand the other person's perspective and choose your words carefully to avoid escalation. Seek common ground as a basis for finding solutions. If emotions rise, suggest a break to cool off. Effective handling of argumentative calls requires composure, active listening, and a focus on common ground.

Tackling tough phone calls is never easy. If it's not a video call, find a calming space, like stepping outside from your home office. Preparing in advance is key. Brainstorm potential questions and answers with a colleague. For customer-specific calls, I always hold a prep call with my team to address concerns and unify our approach. For team calls, share an agenda beforehand with the customer, including their inputs. Allocate specific times for each discussion point (e.g., Point 1 - 5 mins, Point 2 - 20 mins), ensuring everyone is prepared and the call stays on track.

Actively listening is the easiest way to calm someone's nerves in an argument. By listening, you learn the person's core reason for being upset/angry. If you are able to provide a solution to what makes them upset/angry, then you can ease their nerves and also show them that you are listening to everything they are saying.

Active listening goes beyond just hearing words; it involves echoing back what you've heard and getting confirmation that you've understood correctly. Once that's established, delve deeper with clarifying questions. These should be a mix of open-ended and probing queries, not just simple "yes/no" questions.

After choosing to actively listen to the other person, acknowledge and validate their concerns and assure them that you will be doing your best to resolve the issues at hand. Decide to stay calm, speak respectfully and maintain your professionalism at all times.

Here's some positive language I like to use in sales calls when working with someone who's upset/angry: - "I completely understand where you're coming from" - "I don't blame you for being frustrated" - "Hmm, that's very interesting. Great point" - "Good call. We haven't thought about that before"

Always end a call with grace. Even if it seemed like the call/meeting went for the worst, it's always important to keep things cordial, especially in business. You never know, the person you were talking to could have had a bad day, family emergency, etc. It's important you give that person grace, the same way you'd hope they gave you grace if you were having a rough day.

One thing to consider that's worked for me when dealing with someone difficult is cold hard facts (aka data). I've been in many conflicts at work and the one thing that never fails me is using data to prove a point. Now, I don't recommend approaching the conversation with hostility, but you should actively listen to what that person is saying and then use data points to get your point across. Then ask, does this make sense or do you recall this? The person you're speaking to might not be excited about admitting to their wrong, but they will come around as they can't argue data