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How can you give constructive feedback without fear?

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Giving constructive feedback is a vital skill for anyone who wants to help others improve, learn, and grow. However, many people struggle with delivering feedback effectively, and some even avoid it altogether because of fear. Fear of hurting someone's feelings, fear of damaging the relationship, fear of being rejected, or fear of being wrong. These fears can hold you back from providing valuable insights, support, and guidance to others, and from receiving feedback yourself. In this article, you will learn how to overcome these fears and give constructive feedback without fear.

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1 Prepare yourself

Before you give feedback, you need to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. This means clarifying your purpose, intention, and expectations for the feedback. Why are you giving feedback? What do you hope to achieve? How do you want the other person to feel and respond? By answering these questions, you can align your feedback with your goals and values, and avoid being vague, harsh, or personal. You also need to check your emotions and assumptions. Are you feeling angry, frustrated, or defensive? Are you making judgments or generalizations about the other person or the situation? If so, you need to calm yourself down and look for facts and evidence to support your feedback.

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Liz Ryan

Coach and creator. CEO and Founder, Human Workplace. Author, Reinvention Roadmap; Red-Blooded HR; and Righteous Recruiting. LinkedIn Top Voice.
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The only thing worse than giving someone unwelcome feedback is to give them feedback, and then throw a bunch of “evidence” at them, thinking that will help. If you make small suggestions, in the moment, you won’t have to have big sit down meeting to share feedback very often. If you focus on building trust with your teammates, you may never have to have a sit down meeting to share negative feedback. Now that I think about it, I have conducted maybe four meetings that were specifically about problems I needed to address with an employee, and that’s over 25 years in leadership overseeing hundreds of employees. Communicate in the moment, organically, compassionately, all the time. That’s what leaders do.

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2 Choose the right time and place

The timing and setting of your feedback can make a big difference in how it is received and acted upon. You want to choose a time and place that is convenient, comfortable, and respectful for both of you. Avoid giving feedback when you or the other person are busy, stressed, or distracted. Instead, find a time when you can both focus on the conversation and have enough time to discuss and resolve any issues. Also, avoid giving feedback in public or in front of others, as this can be humiliating and embarrassing. Instead, find a private and quiet place where you can talk without interruptions or distractions.

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3 Use the sandwich method

One of the most popular and effective ways to give constructive feedback is to use the sandwich method. This means sandwiching your feedback between two positive statements. The first statement is a compliment or praise that acknowledges the other person's strengths, achievements, or efforts. The second statement is the feedback itself, which should be specific, constructive, and actionable. The third statement is a reinforcement or encouragement that expresses your confidence, support, or appreciation for the other person. By using this method, you can balance your feedback with positivity , and reduce the negative impact or resistance that might arise.

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Dr Khadijat Olorunlambe, CEng MIMechE MIET MWES AFHEA

Assistant Professor at University of Birmingham
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In my experience, this method is particularly effective when given feedback to students. Balancing feedback with positivity makes the student feel like their efforts went wasted and they will be more open to the suggested areas of improvement. Instead of saying what they did wrong, I always try to suggest what they could do to improve it. This provides clarity to the students about what they need to do better next time.

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4 Listen and empathize

Giving constructive feedback is not a one-way communication. You also need to listen and empathize with the other person's perspective, feelings, and reactions. Listening means paying attention, asking open-ended questions, and summarizing or paraphrasing what you hear. Empathizing means showing that you understand, care, and respect the other person's point of view, even if you disagree or have different opinions. By listening and empathizing, you can build rapport, trust, and mutual understanding with the other person, and create a safe and supportive environment for feedback.

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Avtar Singh

Owner-Hilltop Castle Blinds Inc.
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Feedback should be focused on areas of improvement. 1. Listen to the person to better figure out issues or problems. He is facing In delivering the best results. 2. According to Book" How to win friends and influence people" focus on ask that person how we can improve. People are usually committed to their suggestions just to guide them by highlighting your business needs. 3.praise for their work first than deliver your input on the most important part( highest effect on result) and deliver with in 10-15 seconds. Chris Voss Ted talks.

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5 Follow up and follow through

The last step in giving constructive feedback is to follow up and follow through with the other person. This means checking in regularly, monitoring progress, and providing ongoing feedback and support. Following up means asking for feedback on your feedback, soliciting updates or feedback on the other person's actions or outcomes, and offering additional help or resources if needed. Following through means keeping your promises, commitments, and expectations that you set during the feedback conversation, and holding yourself and the other person accountable for the results. By following up and following through, you can show that you care about the other person's growth and success, and that you value the feedback process.

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6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How can you give constructive feedback without fear?

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1 Prepare yourself

2 Choose the right time and place

3 Use the sandwich method

4 Listen and empathize

5 Follow up and follow through

6 Here’s what else to consider

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