Conflicts with your boss can be stressful and damaging to your career, especially in the field of information security, where trust and communication are essential. However, you can effectively resolve conflicts with your boss by following some simple steps that will help you understand the root cause, express your perspective, and find a solution.
The first step to resolving any conflict is to identify the issue clearly and objectively. What is the source of the disagreement or tension? Is it a personal or professional matter? Is it related to your performance, expectations, feedback, or goals? Try to avoid assumptions and emotions, and focus on the facts and evidence. You can also ask yourself how the issue affects your work, your relationship, and your security objectives.
Think deep to find causes of the conflict. More specifically; Is it a difference of opinion, poor communication, or broken expectations? Set up a meeting with your boss one on one to discuss the issue. Be candid about your outlook and do take note of what your boss has to say as well. Identify areas of consensus and common objectives. Make sure you accentuate similar interests and purposes that the two of your are having, and use it as a basis to reach an agreement on. Once you settle down on a course of action, take steps to put it into practice. Recall promises you may have made and observe the situation closely so as to be rest assured that it is not an issue again. Reflect on the experience you have been through after it is all over.
Before you approach your boss, you need to prepare for the conversation. This means choosing a suitable time and place, gathering relevant information and data, and rehearsing your key points. You also need to anticipate your boss's reaction and possible objections, and plan how to address them. Moreover, you need to set a positive and respectful tone, and avoid blaming, accusing, or criticizing your boss.
When you initiate the conversation, you need to listen actively and empathize with your boss. This means paying attention to what they say, how they say it, and why they say it. You also need to show interest and curiosity, ask open-ended questions, and paraphrase or summarize their main points. By doing so, you can demonstrate that you respect their opinion, understand their perspective, and acknowledge their feelings.
When your boss speaks listen to him/her keenly. Make eye contact, nod to signal you are paying attention and avoid interrupting. Attempt to see the situation from your boss’s view. After your boss has shared their thoughts, repeat what you heard back to him/her in order to make sure that you have understood it the right way. This demonstrates that you are actively listening and attempting to understand their perspective. If there’s something you don’t get or need more information about, ask open-ended questions so that it can be clarified. This shows your interest in knowing the situation well. Tell your boss that you value their viewpoint and would do everything in order to find some solution which will be okay for both of us.
After you listen to your boss, you need to express your perspective and needs. This means stating your position, explaining your reasoning, and sharing your feelings. You also need to use assertive and constructive language, such as "I think", "I feel", "I need", or "I suggest". You should avoid using absolute or negative words, such as "always", "never", "you", or "but". By doing so, you can communicate your message clearly, honestly, and respectfully.
I have observed that Information Security consultant or auditor, would always face some difference of opinion especially from Operations Teams whose primary job is to run Operations smoothly and would pay no attention to information security recommendations. During my early career I learnt two important things which helped me a lot in conflict resolution. Be it either your colleagues,cross functions or boss even the client, one needs to be assertive than argumentative in order to convey something. Altercation is no solution but always creates a negative impression. Also if we are sure on something, then instead of "I Think/ I Feel/ I suspect" one must always say "I believe".
The final step to resolving a conflict with your boss is to collaborate on a solution. This means brainstorming ideas, evaluating options, and agreeing on actions. You also need to consider the benefits and drawbacks of each option, the feasibility and impact of each action, and the alignment with the security goals and standards. By doing so, you can create a win-win outcome that satisfies both parties and improves the situation.
Schedule a meeting with your supervisor to sort out the conflict. Find a free time when you both can concentrate on the problem undisturbed. After you express your point of view, invite the boss to share his or her perspective. Point out the mutual interests you both have and use them as a basis to help resolve your differences. Work together with your manager to come up with possible resolutions for the conflict. Listen to their ideas and be ready for concessions. Evaluate the possible solutions you have come up with and choose one that addresses underlying problems while still meeting both of your interests. Once you have agreed on a solution, make an action plan together. Act on the agreed solution and live up to your promises.
The last thing you need to do is to follow up and monitor progress. This means checking in with your boss regularly, providing feedback and updates, and celebrating achievements. You also need to review the results and outcomes of the solution, and identify any gaps or challenges that need to be addressed. By doing so, you can ensure that the conflict is resolved effectively, and that your relationship with your boss is strengthened and maintained.
Here are valuable conflict resolution strategies with senior colleagues: Stay Calm and Professional: Approach the situation calmly and professionally. Avoid letting emotions like anger or frustration take over. This helps in maintaining a constructive dialogue. Self-Assessment: Before addressing the conflict, reflect on your actions and thoughts. Understanding your role in the conflict can help in finding a resolution. Prepare for the Conversation: Plan what you want to discuss. Be clear about the points you want to raise and what you hope to achieve from the conversation. Focus on the Issue, Not the Person: Keep the conversation focused on the specific issue at hand, rather than personal attributes or past conflicts.