How can you effectively handle a coaching or mentoring relationship that is not working out?

The availability of other alternatives should also be considered. You may not be happy with the current situation, but it could be the best you can have, given the context.

It’s worth being clear about who thinks it’s not working: them, you, or both of you? Then you can explore the nature of the ‘issue’ and in particular whether it lies in expectations, perceptions or experience (or some combination). There are lots of reasons for difficult patches - importantly, some of them are actually a positive sign of progress! So, we should be careful of presuming failure and work instead to expose and explore the ‘issue’ first. At least whatever happens next will then be informed by a shared perspective and understanding.

b) Managing the conversation: During the conversation, the focus should be on sharing our point of view constructively, actively listening to the other person, and together, exploring whether it makes sense to continue the relationship and under what terms. c) Reflection and learning: After the conversation, it is essential to take a moment to reflect on how the situation was reached, what has been learned, and how future coaching or supervision relationships can be approached differently."

"When a coaching, mentoring, or supervision relationship is not working, it is important to manage three key moments: a) Preparation for the conversation: Before addressing the issue, proper preparation is crucial. This includes reviewing the contract and agreed-upon objectives, and comparing what has been achieved so far with the initial agreement. Additionally, we must substantiate our judgment of the malfunction by identifying specific facts to support our viewpoint, always keeping in mind that it is our perspective.

Prioritizing Bidirectional Feedback: . I'd suggest emphasizing the value of bidirectional feedback. Before a mentor shares their thoughts, it might be beneficial to first ask the mentee about their perception of progress and where they believe improvements could be made. This can foster a sense of partnership and co-ownership of the mentoring journey.

Regular Progress Assessments: . As you probably are aware, the human brain often resists change, making the path to personal growth a challenging one. Incorporating regular progress assessments can be instrumental in providing both parties with a clear sense of direction and accomplishment. These assessments can act as both a reward and a reality check, ensuring that the coaching process remains adaptive and responsive to the mentee's evolving needs.

Onboarding and Setting Clear Expectations: . From my experience, many potential misunderstandings and misalignments can be pre-emptively addressed at the onset of the mentoring relationship. It would be beneficial to emphasize the importance of a comprehensive onboarding process where roles, expectations, goals, and communication styles are clearly defined. This process could include, for example, the client or mentee signing an agreement, which can serve as a reference point should any ambiguities arise in the future.