How can you develop a positive coaching mindset?

I think it's incredibly important for all coaches to consistently check in with themselves about why they coach, how are they coaching and what may be missing in themselves and/or their practice to enhance their abilities and impact on those they serve. Having a coach (again, if you are a professional certified coach this should happen) can be a great resource to reflect, review and reframe how you are feeling and doing within your own practice. Your coach should support your purpose and journey and why not, you hired them so you should already trust their intentions. If serving is below you, coaching is most likely beyond you.

The term growth mindset gets tossed around more than fish at the Seattle fish market. Here are my two cents to make it simpler: To adopt a growth mindset, embrace challenges as opportunities, view failures as learning experiences, believe in the power of effort and perseverance, seek feedback for growth, and stay open to new possibilities. Embrace the journey of continuous improvement and unleash your full potential as a coach!

A positive mindset is first of all a growth mindset. And the underlying requirement for developing a growth mindset is curiosity. So, be curious about all kinds of ways you can grow your personality, upgrade your skills, develop new skills, become a better, more interesting and interested human being in general. Never minimize your growth to the basic level of job requirements.

I prefer the word “optimistic” to the word “positive.” That’s because I’ve seen so many people criticize others as negative when they bring attention to problems. Many job descriptions say they are looking for problem-solvers, but how can anyone solve something they ignore? Allowing ourselves to be open to possibilities, including challenging our assumptions and being willing to brainstorm and play with all the options before making a decision can yield surprisingly good results. In really bad situations, I always look for the gift hidden in the background. There’s (almost) always something to be grateful for if I look hard enough. To do that, we have to be willing to grow, even when it’s uncomfortable… and even when it hurts.

Recognise that the mindset you hold as a coach is fundamentally important. Recognise and accept that the mindset that you bring to a coaching conversation really does influence the nature of that conversation. If you are able to focus on adopting a positive mindset, it is more likely that you will actively connect with a strengths-based and appreciatively focussed approach.

Clients desire a fulfilling experience. As coaches, our aim is to impart knowledge from abundance, not a depleted source. Like everyone else, coaches must prioritize their own needs daily. Society is replete with negative examples of well-intentioned individuals who failed due to neglecting self-care.

My coach once told me that if I can't take care of myself how am I able to take care of anyone else? This has rang true for over 20yrs both as a coach and husband and father. Your well-being and self-care as a coach is paramount. This means being aware of your needs and fulfilling them. It means prioritizing your mental health and time management to support your ability to coach powerfully and effectively. I see younger coaches pushing through back-to-back sessions without taking care of themselves. Don't do this. It's out of integrity to yourself, your clients and the practice you are running. There are many ways to take care of yourself responsibly so I won't list them but please make sure you take care of yourself.

As a type-based coach, I sometimes take in information (past and present based Sensing preferences vs. future and conceptual based Intuition) and make decisions (fact based Thinking vs. value based Feeling) differently than my clients. I am often required to think like opposite types to be effective. Understanding how my clients think pushes me to get out of my own head, which makes a significant positive impact in my ability to coach. Instead of speaking my type’s language, I speak theirs. Each personality type has triggers which generate protective (and sometimes negative) responses. I’ve put in considerable research and practice to learn how to compensate. This has helped me with my own self care so I can better serve my clients.

When I work with individuals (at all levels) I make it a priority that someone positively fills their outlook on life with possibility. In order to achieve this, it requires some work. What I recommend to them and for myself is: Focus on gratitude for the present moment. Surround yourself with positive influences. Practice self-care and mindfulness. Challenge negative thoughts. Engage in activities that bring joy. Cultivate optimism by reframing situations. And ultimately choose positivity as a daily intention. It's not easy but nothing good ever came easy. It's a process and journey, embrace it.

Always be a student of life and if you coach, study that too! Becoming complacent is a recipe for mediocrity and stagnation. There's always more to learn and embrace if you will explore what's out there. Upskill, identify and engage with others. Discover and rediscover what lights you up. Be creative, get messy and question everything. Theres no shortage of outlets but I will caution you on this: Don't go to the same well all the time for all your information. I see this far too often with coaches who swear by some self-proclaimed influencer and their latest marketing workshop. Ideas are great and plenty but make them your own. No one wants to be coached by a carbon copy Robins, Goldsmith or Brown. Be an original.

Super important to enjoy coaching. The most successful coaches I know are authentically curious and interested in the people around them. They are non-judgemental as well - so ask questions causing those around themselves and others around them to be constantly reflecting. There is so much chaos and confusion out in the world these days - having a coaching mindset - helps put everything in perspective. We are all just doing the best we can.

When I give suggestions, solutions and advice, I keep in mind that my client is not me. It’s important to see their perspective and walk in their shoes to weigh what’s important to them and supports their values, which aren’t going to be an exact match to my own. This means listening, and asking thoughtful questions instead of trying to tie their feelings to similar experiences I’ve had. It’s essential to listen more than talk, and ask questions instead of assuming I know all the facts.

Coaching also needs to be selfless vs self-congratulatory. When a person makes themselves vulnerable enough to be coached - it can be easy to feel good about yourself as a coach as you help them. But you also need to consider that the person in front of you - is the same as you. At any given moment their challenges could be yours. In fact, I find when I'm coaching several leaders who have the exact presenting challenge - I start to look at myself and consider that maybe this is the Universe helping me solve my own similar issues.