How can you develop active listening and questioning skills for life coaches?

I always believe that the key to good listening and questioning skills boils down to having an interest in the other party. When we are truly interested, we would develop a natural curiosity to want to know more. Our ears and heart will be open to what the other party has to say and we would know the questions to ask without having to be prompted.

The profession of coaching do owe a lot of accountability in its part . As your clients do solely depends on your proactive participation to analyze them and give them a solution .Focus , listening , asking , feedback , gestures are of high importance . Active Listening is an important component for coaching which needs a high level of concentration and avoiding all sorts distraction for better results . Understanding and questioning is another key role in coaching to extract the right issue . Accepting and giving right feedback about the development is highly required . Body Language , and an active and receptive body language can make the sessions much more worthy and fruitful . A coach can make real difference through these attributes .

Active listening is a basic tool for any coach. When you are actively listening, you are not just hearing what you're client is saying. You are not waiting to purely react to it. Instead, you are present in the moment and will only reflect on what your client said, once he/ she is finished. You will apply no judgment to what you've heard, but you will focus on what the client has said, read between the lines, and offer a point of view that supports your client in getting the answers he/ she is looking for. The coaching space needs to be a safe one, where the client knows that he/ she will be fully respected, with no judgment or bias, and that it's his/ her time to truly speak, truly express his/ her own feelings and thoughts.

active listening involve the following : 1- Face the speaker and have eye contact with him 2- don't interrupt 3- listen to other people without judging or jumping to conclusions 4- don't impose your opinions on others 5- stay focused 6- ask questions

Active listening is the process of listening with multiple senses and paying close attention to the other person. We may literally hear with our ears but we really show we're listening through our eyes, and our heart. The former, by being deeply present with the person sharing, making eye contact & helping them feel safe to share with us. The latter, with our heart, we aim to connect with the emotion and meaning behind the words. Allowing us to show compassion & empathy where required.

However, clients may sometimes resist questioning, and strategies to gently overcome this resistance are crucial. One of the ways in which this can be dealt is by establishing trust and a strong rapport. Clients or stakeholders are more likely to open up and engage in questioning if they feel safe and respected. Taking the time to listen actively, showing empathy, and demonstrating our commitment to their well-being is the foundation of overcoming resistance

Questioning which I would rather call as PROBING, enables direction to find answers. The probing skills or technique should be comforting and not intimidating. There should be a vulnerability check here. The questions should derive from the previous answers which would help build up and reach the desired results.

One aspect of active listening for me is to ask questions that would allow applying what is being discussed in different contexts and examine it from different dimensions. Also it is important to try and identify any underlaying assumptions on which the discussion is taking place. More often than not, it is assumed upfront 'what' the problem that we are trying to solve is, when the real problem could be something else while we are simply trying to address a symptom. Some barriers are assumed to be unremovable and not even discussed. Which may be far from reality. Only the right line of questioning could expose them. One question I learned to ask was 'What would be your choice if no constraints existed.'

Effective questioning is the key to empowering individuals. It's not about providing answers but igniting their inner curiosity. For example, instead of saying 'You should do X,' ask 'What options do you see?' This encourages self-discovery and meaningful growth.

For any of us with kids, we use a very simple engagement tool with them to tease out how their life is going. "How was your day?" "How did you get on at practice". We use open ended, non judgmental questions to open the conversation. We then look for hooks that show uncertainties, emotions or real passion. Working with colleagues is not that different. Only when you have genuine curiosity for what is going on in the lives of others, the questions come naturally, providing the hooks you need to keep it going and go deeper. Trust and psychological safety is built through several positive exchanges and from there, everything else you want to achieve together gets easier!

One of the most valuable tools for me as a coach is to create a Thinking Environment and access the components of the Thinking Environment. These are all outlined in Time To Think by Nancy Kline.

A practice I find quite effective is maintaining a dedicated notebook where I ?collect” insightful questions I come across in podcasts, books, conversations with fellow coaches, or just in daily interactions. I make sure to revisit these notes before every coaching session to refresh my memory and have them ready to enhance the session ??

The more I have worked on my own mindfulness, the more capacity I have developed for active listening and asking compelling questions. My regular mindfulness practices, especially silent meditation and journaling, have been essential in learning to understand myself and be present to my own full human experience. The more curiosity and compassion I point inward, the more I am able to give to others.

Active listening and questioning skills are obtained by practice and feedback, but a simple way to start is getting exposure to people who exhibit these skills effectively. Sit in and listen as a seasoned coach performs a coaching session. Locate a recording of a coaching session on YouTube. Invest in a coach for yourself. Find a mentor. During these activities, identify and jot down actions you can adopt, then find opportunities to put them into action.

Ask these question to encourage your client. Encouraging Thinking: Has this happened before? What could you do differently? If your life depended on it, what would you do to make this work? Even if it feels impossible, what would happen if it WAS possible?

Active listening in coaching involves establishing a safe and trusting environment, where empathy and non-judgmental support help client comfort and openness. Giving undivided attention via eye contact and body language ensures understanding. To connect deeper with an individual, reflect on his emotions and experiences by paraphrasing to clarify and to seek confirmation. Probing questioning complements this approach. Use open-ended Qs to encourage expression and understanding. Clarifying Qs seek a deeper perspective and powerful questions challenge them to explore motivations and solutions. “Can you provide an example of that?” or “What’s holding you back from taking an action?” or “and what else?” are good examples leading to discovery.

Open ended questions with sincerity and curiosity emerge when you are fully present with the client. Coaching presence is essential for both active listening and artful questions. At times, the client gets the solution on their own, without you asking questions, but just holding the safe, non-judgmental space with open mind and open heart. By listening to the unsaid, through energy and vibration of the client, you can ask powerful questions, which can go deeper and can lead to insights and transformations. Summary and reflection (of said and unsaid) and validating your understanding with the client may also lead to deeper transformational coaching.

One of the real eye-openers for me has been actively seeking feedback on my listening skills. It’s incredible how much you can learn from just asking a simple question! What I did was I casually checked in with a few close colleagues and even threw the question at my family: “Do you think I really listen? What did I do that gave you that feeling?” Very helpful and I actually can’t think of a better way of learning how to develop your listening skills!

One thing I've found to really make a difference is to get really present before having the coaching conversation. Let everything go that you have been focusing on up until that point. Let go of the worry as to whether you are going to be good enough. Bring your focus into your body, feel grounded to the earth, and only then extend your focus out to your client.

The "why" and guidance behind achieving goals and growing Setting a goal is good, but to achieve that goal, it must be a SMART goal, meaning specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.

Developing active listening and questioning skills is essential for life coaches. Here are some steps to help you improve these skills: 1. Stay Curious - Cultivate a curious mindset. Ask questions out of genuine interest in your client's well-being and growth. 2. Empathize and Connect - Show empathy and understanding: Acknowledge the speaker's feelings and emotions 3. Ask Open-Ended Questions - Instead of yes/no questions, use open-ended questions that encourage exploration and reflection. Active listening and effective questioning are skills that improve with time and practice. As a life coach, these skills will not only help you better understand your mentee but support them in their personal and professional development.

Life coaches can sharpen active listening and questioning skills by practicing mindful presence, asking powerful open-ended questions to stimulate client self-discovery, seeking feedback from clients and peers, and engaging in continuous learning through workshops and literature.

[1] Uncover underlying messages by listening to what's unsaid. [2] Connect and feel genuinely with clients while maintaining boundaries. [3] Leverage intuition to guide insightful questioning and exploration. [4] Respect and adapt to the diverse cultural contexts of clients. [5] Involve clients actively in developing their own action plans. [6] Embrace lifelong learning and self-reflection in your practice. Ensure that your practice is not only grounded in established methodologies but is also continuously evolving, integrating diverse wisdom, and employing innovative approaches to enrich the coaching experience and maximize the transformative impact for your clients.

As a Mindfulness teacher I've learned that active listening is about checking in on yourself when you are coaching someone. That means you on purpose pay attention to your self-talk. Are you listening or waiting to answer? Are you fully present with your client or letting your thoughts lead you into other conversations? And when you notice that you've become distracted, you bring yourself back to listening to your client, rather than to your thoughts. Also when you are ready to respond, ask yourself, is this useful or is it me wanting to be heard? That I think is a useful way to conduct your coaching sessions, remembering this isn't about me but my client.