How can you deliver difficult messages honestly and empathetically?

1 Know your purpose

Before you communicate a difficult message, you need to have a clear and specific purpose for doing so. What are you trying to achieve? How do you want your audience to react? What action do you want them to take? Knowing your purpose will help you choose the right tone, words, and format for your message. It will also help you avoid unnecessary details, excuses, or blame that might dilute or confuse your message.

2 Plan your message

Once you have your purpose, you need to plan how to structure and deliver your message. A common framework for difficult messages is the sandwich method, which consists of three parts: a positive opening, a negative core, and a positive closing. The positive opening and closing are meant to cushion the impact of the negative core and show appreciation and support for your audience. The negative core is where you deliver the difficult message with honesty and clarity, using facts, reasons, and examples. You should also acknowledge the emotions and concerns of your audience and show empathy for their situation.

3 Choose your format

Depending on your purpose, audience, and message, you need to choose the most appropriate format for your communication. Some difficult messages are best delivered in person, such as performance reviews, layoffs, or apologies. Other difficult messages can be delivered in writing, such as rejections, cancellations, or policy changes. The advantage of in-person communication is that you can use non-verbal cues, such as eye contact, gestures, and tone of voice, to convey your sincerity and empathy. The advantage of written communication is that you can craft and edit your message carefully and avoid interruptions or distractions.

4 Deliver your message

When you are ready to deliver your message, you need to follow some best practices to ensure a smooth and respectful communication. First, choose a suitable time and place for your message, avoiding interruptions, distractions, or conflicts. Second, be direct and concise, avoiding vague or ambiguous language that might confuse or mislead your audience. Third, be respectful and empathetic, avoiding harsh or judgmental words that might hurt or offend your audience. Fourth, be open and responsive, listening to your audience's feedback and answering their questions. Fifth, be supportive and constructive, offering solutions, alternatives, or suggestions that might help your audience cope with the situation.

5 Follow up

After you deliver your message, you need to follow up with your audience to ensure that they understood your message and that they are satisfied with the outcome. You can follow up by sending a summary of your message, thanking them for their cooperation, or asking them for their feedback. You can also follow up by checking on their progress, offering additional help, or celebrating their achievements. Following up will help you maintain a positive and trusting relationship with your audience and show them that you care about their well-being.