How can you coach a leader to overcome self-doubt and build confidence?

The approach that worked well in my practice is to ask the clients to see their achievements and/or qualifications as if they were someone else's, ensuring a fresh and more objective view.

We all doubt ourselves from time to time, especially when we're leaping out of our comfort zones and trying something new. Consider making a "win list" that you can refer to listing achievements, nice notes people have sent you, measurable results from your work -- anything that lights you up and helps you feel like the badass you are.

One way I’ve coached individuals with self-doubt is to look at the outcomes of past situations they have gone into with this emotion. Identifying their feelings of self-doubt going into situations but discussing the end result (usually positive) following that self-doubt, allowing a more realistic self-image and behavioural pattern to be developed.

It is important to regard self doubt as an indicator for possible growth over regarding it as a fact. Be specific when considering where your self doubt resides is a useful first step. In relation to the areas identified make a list of the mindset limitations, beliefs,skills and knowledge in relation to that thing. The friction in the gap of the unkown it feels intense and can hold us back. Make a list of the new beliefs, skills, knowledge required through research or coaching, to take you towards increasing your awareness and understanding. Increase your self love by filling your self care cup, (a cup with a small hole) which leaks all the time. You navigate moments of self doubt better when it has been constantly invested in by you

In my experience most people have forgotten how to dream and believe. It's easy to stay in the proverbial "comfort zone" and numb down our dreams. We then settle for the status quo and accept the life we were dealt not what we felt. This idleness allows for negativity to creep in. Practice dreaming again. Get excited about improving your income, lifestyle, wealth and equity goals. Take risks! This mindset shift towards obtaining our dreams makes us motivated to adopt action plans to help us strive for success. Celebrate milestones and you'll soon find you don't have time for self-doubt. If you can see it, you can be it. Helping people to rediscover their why helps them to re-align, see that it's possible and take action to make it happen.

Based on my experience, offering constructive feedback is a profoundly effective strategy. Feedback is our compass for growth, but its impact depends on how we approach it. I guide clients to seek feedback from various sources, gaining valuable perspectives. Equally crucial is self-feedback, where they review actions, celebrate achievements, and learn from experiences. This dual approach empowers them to recognize their value, appreciate progress, and set realistic, confidence-boosting goals.

The question itself is an oxymoron. A Leader would be called one after she or he has overcome self-doubt and is self-confident. Leadership is not a certification or a position attained with promotion. A first-level executive can have leadership qualities while a senior management professional may lack them. Leadership is a quality that stems from confidence, morality, creativity, knowledge, peace, fearlessness, compassion, correctness of communication, rationality and guardianship. Yes, of course, a professional who is showing certain traits of leadership can be groomed to become one. Self-doubt is caused by a lack of answers to questions and those answers come from learning and knowledge. Confidence follows.

My favorite Ken Blanchard quote is "Feedback is the breakfast of champions." Just like any meal - there are well thought out ones with the right environment, nutrition and presentation, and then there is a meal "not fit for a dog". Good quality constructive feedback has many aspects with the first being kindness (expressed through our word choice and delivery style). One thing I often heard was that poor feedback was about the personal characteristics, it stands to reason that sharing specific behaviors (time, place, circumstances, details) is a best practice. Then the person giving the feedback needs to be constructive by giving solutions or coaching the team member through their own great ideas. Finally, gain agreement of improvement.

In my experience and opinion, the client needs to discover the issues (instead of providing constructive feedback). Discovering it can be achieved by active listening as a coach and reflecting back to the client what ones hears. I call it the mirror effect or the trusted partner effect - not to judge, but gently go along and understand one's fears

A leader has enough self-confidence to overcome times of doubt. Otherwise, they would be someone other than leaders but people who have to guide a team. In my experience, doubt is a typical response to encountering obstacles on the path to our goals, and it can erode self-confidence. Persisting in the face of goal-related setbacks can cloud our minds with unproductive thoughts and overwhelming emotions, hindering clarity. To regain mental clarity, we have several options to help dispel the mental fog and enable us to devise new strategies for overcoming challenges and achieving our objectives. Keeping a record of our successes is also a powerful tool for overcoming tough times. Remember, ups and downs help us to grow and thrive.

I've mainly coached in creative fields like music, art and design. These are rife with self doubt because to be creative one needs to experiment, which means there will be failures. This is true in any industry, however. Self compassion aids in accepting these feelings, they are totally natural and understandable. Knowing there is never just one solution to any problem eases the sinking feeling when something doesn't work. It always stings a bit, but knowing failure is inevitable makes it easier to dust off and try something else. Creative solutions often come with discomfort. Bodies want to stay in comfort, there will be a battle with fear and doubt whenever doing anything that challenges status quo.

In addition to encouraging experimentation and reflecting on the process, it's vital to stress the significance of setting clear objectives for each experiment and defining specific, measurable goals. This ensures purposeful and focused experimentation, aiding clients in understanding their capabilities and limitations better. A structured plan with timelines and assessment checkpoints adds accountability and facilitates progress tracking. Furthermore, fostering self-compassion is key; clients should remember that self-doubt might surface during experimentation, and it's crucial to approach themselves with kindness, acknowledging that mistakes are valuable learning opportunities for growth and self-improvement.

In both coaching my clients and my own career, I promote and do a lot of experimentation. The key to good experimentation is right sizing, and right consequences. What I mean by that is creating a minimum viable experiment to create quick wins. These quick wins will extinguish self-doubt and provide creative energy for further experiments. This goes hand in hand with my second point of right consequences. When asking yourself "what's the worst thing that could happen" AND having parsed through them for irrational fears, we can arrive at a logical and reasonable list of consequences. Then, upon reviewing the matrix of potential experiments, size, and consequences, we can pick an experiment that meets where we are at, energetically.

As one goes from Comfort Zone to Fear Zone, the next step is to go to the Learning Zone. Learning what I don't know encourages experimentation. Experential learning will help us in the zone. One client I worked with stepped from the comfort zone to the fear zone of self doubt and immediately went back to the comfort zone. Encouraging experimentation is to encourage move into the learning zone

It’s about getting out of your paradigm and usual patterns. This, your nervous system gets used to new things and is easier on going into unknown. Also, it helps to understand that you can be anyone you want to be - you can literally change your personality as a clothing and change the script for your game of life. And so, try on and embody the leader and change-maker you desire to be.

This is a tricky one - "It's lonely at the top" rings some truth to it. Yes, you need social support, and family and friends can be a great source of that. But you don't want to be constantly telling them about your self-doubt, right? Or talk about your business when you're finally home and have time to relax! Plus, they often don't have the tools to help you through it. Which makes sense, as it's not their job. Getting an outside perspective, someone that dedicates their time to you, IMO, is a much stronger source and will get you much better results.

To enhance this strategy, it would be beneficial to include practical steps and techniques for clients to actively nurture their support network, such as effective communication skills, conflict resolution strategies within relationships, and ways to proactively seek out mentors or peers who can provide guidance and encouragement. Additionally, addressing potential challenges or barriers that clients might face in building social support, such as time constraints or fear of vulnerability, would further enrich the advice provided, making it more actionable for clients seeking to overcome self-doubt and boost their confidence.

To foster social support when coaching a leader, encourage them to cultivate a strong network within and outside the organization. Guide them to seek mentors, join professional groups, and participate in peer exchange forums. Highlight the importance of nurturing relationships with colleagues who provide diverse perspectives. Encourage the leader to be vulnerable in sharing challenges with trusted individuals, which can build deeper connections and support. Remind them that social support is reciprocal; it’s about contributing to others’ success as well as drawing on their strengths. This network acts as a sounding board, a source of feedback, and a resilience buffer in tough times, which is invaluable for a leader’s growth and well-being.

Confidence is neither absolute trust in one's ability to succeed nor fearlessness. It is the belief in your ability to handle something. Self-efficacy, as a construct, might be the closest thing to confidence. Self-efficacy is, simply put, the belief that "I am capable." Building and modeling confidence involves learning how to act despite fear. Do this by grounding yourself in what you know to be true. Articulate your top value and impact. Identify & verify your fears. When you experience insecurity, keep both sets of facts in mind so you can act with confidence, regardless of fear. Practice this, and your actions will be strategic, sound, and responsive rather than reactive. Overtime proof of your ability will breed confidence.

Modeling confidence goes beyond showcasing competence and success; it involves occasional vulnerability to humanize your coaching approach, tailoring guidance to each client's specific needs, empowering them to take ownership of their confidence journey, maintaining consistency in your behavior and attitudes, establishing a feedback loop for continuous improvement, emphasizing the importance of lifelong learning and ethical behavior, and respecting cultural nuances. By incorporating these considerations into your coaching, you can more effectively inspire your clients to conquer self-doubt and develop enduring confidence as leaders.

Teach your client to model confidence by first grounding themselves in their expertise and accomplishments. Encourage them to adopt positive self-talk and visualization techniques to foster a confident mindset. Practice with them: confident body language, like maintaining eye contact and assertive posture, and clear, concise speech. Role-play challenging scenarios to build their composure. Highlight the value of preparation; knowing their material thoroughly can boost self-assurance. Suggest they start meetings with points they're confident about to build momentum. Remind them that confidence also involves listening and openness to feedback, showing security in their leadership.

A big factor in overcoming self doubt is learning to act despite fear. Once the origin of the fear or insecurity is identified and you’ve established that the insecurity doesn’t stem from a real deficit, the goal is to determine what course of action the leader would take if they felt more confident. Then practice taking this approach despite still feeling the distress and discomfort of insecurity. I’ve used this approach both in my clinical practice as a psychologist and with my senior leaders as an executive coach. It is incredibly empowering and effective.

For me it has always been to have a sit down with that leader and have a self identification conversation. Most of these leaders have been on top for so long, that they have lost their true identity and have now come to realize that they are not themselves, causing lack of confidence and identity. This is turn has lead them to not really have a true understanding of who they are, or how to gain themselves back. First step to ask is one the most powerful questions you can ask anyone, “Who are you”, this will give you a better gauge of how they view themselves and where their mind is at. Remember, we must first address the mind and find the RC (Root Cause) prior to designing a return to authentic person approach. It’s a powerful exercise.

To help a leader overcome self-doubt and gain confidence, encourage and ensure leaders self awareness and clarity increases with - 1. Success Journal: Encourage them to maintain a journal to record their achievements and positive feedback to remind them of their abilities. Also maintain what has not worked for them as part of their reflection. 2. Clear Purpose: Help them define a clear personal and professional purpose to understand how their leadership aligns with their values and goals. Alignment is super important. These two steps can steadily boost their self-confidence and help them overcome self-doubt.

Overcoming self-doubt and building confidence isn't about amassing external validations or achievements. Our thoughts create our reality. Self-doubt is not a reflection of our true capabilities but a temporary state of mind. Our innate wisdom, clarity, and wellbeing are always present beneath these fleeting thoughts. We can embrace our inherent resilience, trust in our innate wisdom, and let it guide us. This shift in perspective, acknowledging that we have all we need within us, is the key to unwavering confidence.

In my experience, you can guide leaders to embrace self-reflection identifying strengths and accomplishments. Encourage setting realistic goals and fostering small wins that fuel confidence. Promoting positive self-talk, reframing doubts into affirmations. Instil a growth mindset by emphasizing continuous learning and adaptability. Have them cultivate a supportive network for feedback and mentorship. Use their past successes as a foundation, showcasing resilience. Building confidence involves recognizing one's worth, trusting capabilities, and navigating challenges with authenticity.