How can you build a relationship with a mentee?

1 Set SMART goals

One of the first steps to build a relationship with a mentee is to set SMART goals for the mentoring process. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound, and it is a framework that helps you define what you and your mentee want to achieve, how you will measure your progress, and when you will review your results. Setting SMART goals helps you and your mentee align your vision, focus your efforts, and avoid confusion or frustration.

2 Listen actively

Another key skill to build a relationship with a mentee is to listen actively to what they say, how they say it, and what they do not say. Active listening involves paying attention, showing interest, asking open-ended questions, paraphrasing, summarizing, and reflecting on what your mentee shares with you. Listening actively helps you understand your mentee's needs, challenges, aspirations, and feelings, as well as demonstrate your respect, empathy, and curiosity.

3 Provide constructive feedback

A third essential skill to build a relationship with a mentee is to provide constructive feedback that helps them improve their performance, learn from their mistakes, and celebrate their achievements. Constructive feedback is feedback that is specific, timely, balanced, evidence-based, and action-oriented. It tells your mentee what they did well, what they need to work on, why it matters, and how they can do it better. Providing constructive feedback helps you support your mentee's growth, development, and confidence.

4 Share your stories

A fourth valuable skill to build a relationship with a mentee is to share your stories that relate to their situation, goals, or challenges. Sharing your stories is a way of offering your insights, advice, or lessons learned from your own experience, without being prescriptive or imposing. It also helps you humanize yourself, show your vulnerability, and build rapport with your mentee. Sharing your stories helps you inspire, motivate, and connect with your mentee on a deeper level.

5 Seek feedback

A fifth important skill to build a relationship with a mentee is to seek feedback from them on how they perceive the mentoring process, how they feel about your role, and how you can improve your skills as a mentor. Seeking feedback is a sign of humility, openness, and willingness to learn from your mentee. It also helps you assess the effectiveness of your mentoring approach, identify any gaps or issues, and adjust your strategies accordingly. Seeking feedback helps you enhance your relationship with your mentee and your own professional development.

6 Appreciate diversity

A sixth and final skill to build a relationship with a mentee is to appreciate diversity in terms of culture, personality, style, and preferences. Appreciating diversity means recognizing, respecting, and valuing the differences and similarities between you and your mentee, and how they affect your communication, collaboration, and learning. It also means adapting your mentoring style, language, and methods to suit your mentee's needs, strengths, and goals. Appreciating diversity helps you create a positive, inclusive, and productive mentoring environment.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?