How can you become a successful mediator in Interpersonal Communication?

1 Know the basics

Before you start mediating, you need to know the basic principles and processes of mediation. You need to understand the roles and responsibilities of a mediator, the stages and steps of mediation, and the ethical and legal issues involved. You also need to familiarize yourself with the different types of mediation, such as facilitative, evaluative, transformative, or narrative, and the appropriate methods and techniques for each one. You can learn the basics of mediation by taking courses, reading books, or attending workshops.

2 Build rapport

One of the most important skills of a mediator is to build rapport with the parties. Rapport is a sense of trust, respect, and understanding that creates a positive and cooperative atmosphere for communication. You can build rapport by using active listening, empathy, and validation. Active listening means paying attention to what the parties say and how they say it, and paraphrasing or summarizing their main points. Empathy means putting yourself in their shoes and acknowledging their emotions and feelings. Validation means expressing appreciation and recognition for their efforts and contributions.

3 Manage emotions

Another key skill of a mediator is to manage emotions, both yours and theirs. Emotions can affect the quality and outcome of mediation, either positively or negatively. You need to be aware of your own emotions and how they influence your behavior and judgment. You also need to be sensitive to the emotions of the parties and how they affect their communication and decision-making. You can manage emotions by using self-regulation, reframing, and de-escalation. Self-regulation means controlling your impulses and reactions and staying calm and composed. Reframing means presenting the situation or the problem in a different or more positive way that reduces tension and hostility. De-escalation means reducing the intensity and frequency of negative emotions and behaviors by using humor, distraction, or interruption.

4 Encourage collaboration

A successful mediator also needs to encourage collaboration between the parties. Collaboration is a cooperative and constructive approach to problem-solving that focuses on finding common ground, mutual benefits, and win-win solutions. You can encourage collaboration by using facilitation, brainstorming, and negotiation. Facilitation means guiding and supporting the parties through the mediation process and helping them to communicate effectively and respectfully. Brainstorming means generating and exploring multiple options and alternatives without judging or criticizing them. Negotiation means discussing and evaluating the options and alternatives and reaching an agreement that satisfies both parties.

5 Evaluate outcomes

The final skill of a mediator is to evaluate the outcomes of the mediation. You need to assess whether the mediation was successful or not, and whether the parties were satisfied or not. You also need to provide feedback and follow-up to the parties and to yourself. You can evaluate the outcomes by using criteria, reflection, and improvement. Criteria means using specific and measurable standards and indicators to judge the quality and effectiveness of the mediation. Reflection means reviewing and analyzing the mediation process and the results and identifying the strengths and weaknesses. Improvement means learning from the experience and applying the lessons and suggestions for future mediations.